


Alicia Doreen and the Hidden Truth of Fire

by crazyRapunzel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Canon Era, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:34:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 64,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27803128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyRapunzel/pseuds/crazyRapunzel
Summary: In the sequel to Alicia Doreen and the Werewolf Professor protagonist Alicia Doreen starts her life outside of Hogwarts. She turns out to be a wonderful dragon handler with some unique talents. But when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named returns she is forced to choose between her old family and her new one.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 68





	1. Life amongst dragons

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!  
> When I wrote Alicia Doreen and the Werewolf Professor I knew there was more in store for Alicia and Remus. In the sequel we explore more of their lives and relationship. Here is a summary of book 1 to freshen the memory.
> 
> Alicia Doreen is one year away from graduating Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In her final year they get a new teacher, Professor Remus Lupin who spikes her interest from day one. They carefully test how close they can get to each other without breaking school rules. Eventually they can’t hold back any longer and fall in love. Remus has many secrets to share, that he is a werewolf and that he was once friends with a notorious wanted criminal, Sirius Black. Alicia finds Sirius Black, and decides to trust him for Remus’ sake, but she doesn’t tell him about it. As their love grows, her nervousness grows too. The future is uncertain for both of them. When Sirius finally confronts Remus, Remus forgets the full moon and turns into a werewolf with people present. Alicia saves him and the others, but the secret gets out. Remus is fired right before the end of the year. Alicia tries to fight the injustice but finds out that there is too much prejudice in the society for that. She leaves Hogwarts and is ready for her life together with Remus Lupin, her werewolf professor.

**Book II**

There were few places in the world as stunning as Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The mighty castle stood strong as ever in the Highlands of Scotland, next to the glittering Black Lake. It was a cloudy day with a fair amount of wind blowing over the hills. The castle was easy enough to spot from a great distance. That is, of course, for magical folks.

It had been ten minutes if not more; the time Alicia Doreen had taken to stand on an outcrop of hill to admire the view. The wind was doing its best to blow her away, but it was the castle that did the job. Even though it had not been that long since she last saw it, the magical school was a sight for sore eyes.

‘It never stops to amaze, does it?’

Alicia didn’t have to take her eyes off the view to know it was Charlie Weasley who had decided to join her. He stopped next to her, hands in his pockets, ginger hair waving in the wind. He had decided to braid a part of his hair to the back, as was a custom of his. He remained silent after that one sentence. There was a big smile on his face as he was flooded with similar emotions to Alicia. He also had spent seven years in that castle.

‘It’s good to be back,’ Alicia said at last. She took a deep breath of fresh air and punched her colleague in the side. ‘We should get back and help the others.’

Charlie smiled down at her, his teeth showing. ‘All right _Fata foc_. I suppose we will have enough time to stand around and admire the view.’

As Charlie descended the hill, Alicia looked back one more time and felt good and bad emotions rise in her.

It promised to be an interesting month.

* * *

The life of Alicia had changed quite a lot in four months. When she looked back on it, it kept surprising her it had _only_ been four months. That was the last time she had seen Hogwarts. The last train ride home, a new life waiting for her.

A new life that couldn’t wait to teach her some lessons.

She shook her head, making sure it was clear. In a moment she would need a clear head. They were transferring the Swedish Shortsnout from the traveling container to a more spacious cage. She was in charge of opening the locks on one side. She had to be in sync with Mihal who was doing the other side.

‘Now!’ Charlie shouted from the top of the container. He opened the first latch, and Alicia and Mihal followed suit. Two others opened the door completely. There was a tense moment of silence, in which everyone had that irrational thought that the dragon had escaped during their journey. It was so tempting to lean forward to take a peak…

But then there was a loud roar and a jet of fire. The blue dragon walked out of the container into the cage, where she would be boarded up partly. This was to make sure she didn’t start a forest fire. But there were still enough gaps between the boards to see the creature flailing its neck around. She was not pleased to find herself in yet another confined space.

There was one person who’s task it was to distract the dragon until the container was shoved backwards and the cage would be closed from behind. It was crucial to keep the dragon occupied, or there would be hell to pay. Luckily everyone on the team had enough experience to know what to do.

Everyone sighed in relief when the cage was closed. Some protective spells were placed around it, and then in was time for the next one.

‘Fata foc, go with Charlie and prepare the Fireball. Check everything twice before saying it is safe,’ Mihal instructed. Alicia nodded and found Charlie already waiting. He was wiping ash from his hands. Most of the traveling containers could be used only once. Having a dragon in them was a strain on any material and magic protection.

‘That went well,’ Charlie said airily.

Alicia chuckled. ‘In a good mood Weasley?’

He wiped his black fingers on her sleeve, what earned him a slap. ‘One down, three to go right? You can do the distracting on the Fireball.’

Alicia stopped in her tracks. ‘You are kidding, right? I’ve not done that before! No, I shouldn’t do that. Too much is at risk.’

He raised his hands. ‘You sure you don’t want to do the Fireball?’

Alicia shook her head.

‘Fine. Then you get the Horntail.’ He continued walking. Alicia couldn’t believe him.

‘Tell me you are shitting me.’

‘Christian! Fata foc is distracting the Horntail!’ Charlie shouted at their fellow colleague who was preparing the cage for the most aggressive of the four dragons. Instead of arguing that three months of internship was not enough to perform such a task, he raised two thumbs up.

‘Do you want to get rid of me? Because there are nicer ways to say so,’ Alicia said anxiously.

He chuckled and dragged the youngest member of the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary along to their next task. ‘We all learned the hard way. You told me not to go easy on you because you are a girl. So I won’t. I was given these sort of tasks early on too. It is a good way to determine your courage. I need to see how you perform under pressure.’

She rolled her eyes, trying to hide her fear in annoyance. ‘Fine,’ she said. She was in fact not fine.

With the mental note that she needed to be distracting a very large very dangerous beast soon, she did her best to look at the others as they lured out the Chinese Fireball and Green Welsh. She also still had to be focussed on the job of opening the latches. In this line of work, there was no room for mistakes.

The stress was building up. In the next moment she found herself standing on the far edge of a currently empty cage. At the other side, a wooden door was separating her from a homicidal creature. Other than the Swedish Shortsnout, the Hungarian Horntail was impatient to get out of his container. She could see jets of fire come out of holes in the wood. There was a stamping inside the container that nearly made Alicia topple over.

But she had been training for this. Balance was important, because one misstep could be your death. Quick response was also important, because one second of thought could be your death. Knowledge of effective spells was also very important, because using the wrong spell…well…you know. There were a lot of scenarios in which she could die. But she wasn’t going to. Because she knew what to do.

‘Ready?’ Mihal shouted at her from his spot next to the container. Alicia shouted back that she was.

‘Now!’

The door opened and the Horntail didn’t waste a second in moving forward. Alicia shot sparks up from her wand, which was an effective way to get her attention. She saw the vertical slit of one eye focus on her. Then the dragon made to draw a breath. When the mouth opened, Alicia could see the fire starting in her throat.

Before the dragon could spit fire, Alicia had thrown another distracting spell in her direction. She stopped her attempt to roast Alicia, and chased her instead. Then it was time to run. She gave everything as she ran to the side of the cage where someone would open a human-sized door. She could feel the earth shake beneath her as the Horntail followed her.

With a mighty scream Alicia lunged for the door that opened just in time to let her through. The door was closed a second later when Alicia was face down on the forest floor. She could feel the heat of the fire on the other side of that door where she had been two seconds ago.

The cage was closed and the protective spells were administered. All she could hear for a minute was the blood rushing in her ears and her erratic breathing. Then she was lifted from the ground and raised onto the shoulders of cheering men. They were chanting her new nickname. Charlie appeared in front of her. She looked down at her mentor and smiled.

‘I knew you could do it!’ Charlie beamed. ‘Piece of cake, right?’

Alicia laughed out loud. ‘Oh sure!’

When she was placed back on the ground and patted on the shoulder or back by everyone, Charlie looked very pleased with himself. ‘You had it easy, compared to the poor sucker that has to challenge that dragon.’

* * *

That evening they were having dinner at their camp. There were multiple bonfires so everyone could keep warm. Most of the men weren’t used to Scotland’s wet weather, and so that was the main topic for a while. Alicia loved hearing grown men complain about something as rain, while she had no issue getting a bit wet. She kept making ‘awwwh’ sounds and saying ‘poor you. Rain makes you melt does it?’ These remarks started a whirlwind of items that were thrown at her.

Sometimes it was hard being the only woman in a man’s world. She was looked down on a lot by the tough guys who had weather beaten faces and were sporting many scars and injuries. When she got to Romania in the first place, everyone was laughing at her. They kept giving her directions to the ballet school in town. Many mornings did she find pamphlets for kid dancing classes in her bed. It was a running joke for a while, but luckily it started to get old later.

Charlie was a good support for her. From the start he was appointed as her mentor. He didn’t seem to mind that she was shorter, weaker and female. He only saw potential that he could shape. And he did! Alicia had been working out, so she had a lot more muscle power these days. That was very necessary too, since everything they worked with was big and heavy. Charlie taught her many things already, but it was still just the start.

It was the start of her second month in Romania, when an owl came in with the message that a local town was being destroyed by a dragon. They had all moved out, but it was Alicia who had stopped the beast from roasting a group of school children. She had thrown herself in front of the fire and had protected the muggle children. That had finally earned her respect with the guys. The taunting had stopped and she was accepted like any other member. She also earned a nickname.

They were just laughing at Christians retelling of the story how Alicia screamed as she ran for the door, when Mihal came back and quieted everyone down.

‘I have been to the school. There are four contestants this year because there was a mistake. An extra students name came out of the Goblet of Fire. No one knows how that happened,’ Mihal told them.

Alicia closed her eyes and did a quick prayer in case anyone was listening. _Don’t be Harry. Don’t be Harry. Don’t be-_

‘That extra student is Harry Potter. The wonder kid who survived the Death curse,’ Mihal continued.

‘Shit!’ Alicia exclaimed as she threw her plate on the ground. Everyone was looking at her now. She noticed Charlie with his hands in his hair.

‘Sorry. I know him. I suppose those things can only happen to that kid,’ Alicia said quickly.

‘My brother is his friend. I have seen him before. Great kid, doesn’t deserve all that bad luck,’ Charlie said with a distant voice.

There was a moment of silence in the group before Mihal continued. ‘After dishes we feed the ladies. Be careful not to make the holes too big in the boarding. I don’t want to have to tell Dumbledore why the forest is on fire.’

The mood was grim that evening. Everyone was speculating why they allowed an underage student to participate. Bets were placed which student would get what dragon, and also what students would win from their dragons and which ones would sure be roasted. Harry being set on fire by the Horntail was a popular choice.

Charlie had muttered something about how his mother had been worrying about something he didn’t understand before. He kept to himself that evening but was just as focused on the job. He never allowed his emotions to influence his work.

After the sun had set the sky turned clearer. The rain stopped and the moonlight was bright. Alicia looked up quickly and noted that in three days the moon would be full. Old habits die hard.

There was a commotion going on at the edge of the camp. The Horntail was trying to shoot fireballs up in the sky.

‘We need to stun her! Everyone at the ready. One, two three… _stupefy_!’

About ten of them shot the stunning spell at the angry Horntail. It took a very long time for the creature to go down.

‘Alright you can come closer, but be careful. This one is very unpredictable,’ Charlie said to someone beside him. Alicia rounded the cage and found a very familiar figure in the dark.

‘Hagrid!’ she shouted, happy as a little girl that got to see her daddy again after a workday.

He looked up and spotted her. Alicia ran up to him and disappeared into a bear hug. ‘Hello Alicia! Good to see you. Blimey! I had some trouble recognizing you there. With all the scars and all.’

She entangled herself from the half giant and shrugged. ‘Dragons leave marks. How are you? Are you…alone?’ Only then did she notice the woman that was with him. She towered over Hagrid, which made Alicia wonder why she only noticed her now.

However the woman was not paying attention to the small blonde girl, but to the unconscious dragon. ‘Magnifique!’ she kept saying as she looked the creature over.

Charlie crossed his arms. ‘Hagrid, you shouldn’t have brought her. The champions are not supposed to know about the challenges. She will surely tell her student.’

Hagrid hardly paid attention to this. He was also distracted by the dragon. Alicia watched him as he talked to Charlie and who she assumed was Madame Maxime, Headmistress of Beauxbatons. She felt a bit like the outsider in the picture, even though she could entertain Hagrid with knowledge of dragons. But Charlie seemed to handle it, so she was content just watching them.

There was the sound of a snapping twig somewhere to her left. She looked into the darkness, but couldn’t spot anything moving. She peered a moment longer before stepping closer to Hagrid.

‘You chose the right job Alicia. Look at these beauties!’ Hagrid beamed over the dragon.

She laughed and looked at her old friend. ‘I have you to thank for that. You introduced me to Weasley. I will never forget that.’

Hagrid seemed a bit touched, but he waved it off. He probably didn’t want to cry in front of the others. They talked about lots of things in the meantime. Hagrid told her the updates about the Triwizard Tournament, all the new changes to Hogwarts and every new creature he was taking care off.

‘And who teaches Defence Against the Dark Arts this year?’ she asked in the end, not looking him in the eye.

‘Alastor Moody. One of the best Aurors we have in Britain. He is a bit…well barmy. But I think Dumbledore wanted some extra protection this year,’ Hagrid told her, not noticing her sudden cold expression and crossed arms.

‘To protect Harry?’ she asked, curious now.

He sighed. ‘For a part, yes. I still hope they find a way to pull him out. He doesn’t want to participate, I can tell you that. He did not put his name in the goblet himself.’

‘I never thought so. Trouble just finds him,’ Alicia said with a sad expression. ‘Do you think he will be safe?’

Hagrid looked down. ‘I hope so. He has Dumbledore to protect him. I trust in him.’

Alicia huffed. ‘If he really cared for Harry, he would have pulled him out of the Tournament.’


	2. Old friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to get you all invested again, I will start by posting three chapters! After that it is going to be a weekly wait again. But it will be worth it!

Alicia woke up the next morning in her tent. She yawned and stretched, feeling her muscles ache from the hard work yesterday. In that moment with the Horntail she had pushed her body further than she thought capable. It was true then, that in life or death situations one was capable of more.

She stood in front of her floor length mirror. All she was wearing was her underwear; comfortable black panties and a sports bra. She turned around to watch her calf, where an angry red line stood out between the other faded scars. The Horntail must have scratched her, and she hadn’t noticed until now. But that didn’t surprise her. She had many lines, puncture holes and burns that were hard to backtrack to their origin. She looked her body over completely. It had only been a couple of months ago when the only scar she had was one on her ankle. Now they were everywhere. She could only hope that with time she became better at her job and would score less injuries. However, if she looked at her colleagues, that was a feeble hope.

After her examination she dressed quickly in her fire repellent robes and leather boots. She combed through her long blonde hair and decided to make a new braid today. It was an old tradition among dragon handlers that braids represented their victories. She felt that she deserved a braid after yesterday.

When she left her tent she found some others already out, eating breakfast or doing tasks. They all greeted her with her nickname and some noticed the braid. No one seemed to doubt whether she deserved it. She finally spotted Charlie, who was just done talking with someone.

‘Morning Fata foc. I see you are adopting my tradition. It suits you,’ he said while touching her hair lightly. A faint blush crept to her cheeks. ‘Figured my action yesterday counts as a victory.’

‘Of course it did! You were brilliant. Anyway, some of us are going to Hogsmeade today to buy supplies and spend some private time. Unfortunately we can’t go into the castle or else people will know what we are doing here. Do you want to come? Or…are you afraid to run into…,’

Charlie cleared his throat in unease. Alicia rolled her eyes. ‘I told you before. He is not working at Hogwarts anymore. But I’m not coming today. I still have some work to do and afterwards I wanted to take a stroll. I missed these woods.’

He held up his hands. ‘Okay, suit yourself. I’ll see you for dinner than. Just be careful out there. Don’t run into any w- oh well you know.’

Alicia was angry at this point, but she let it slide. Charlie did not mean to hurt her, he was just tactless sometimes. There were many days in which she had regretted telling Charlie the truth. The _whole_ truth. She really missed having the chance to talk to people. The only one coming close was Charlie. So naturally he became her new best friend.

After a busy morning of preparing stuff and helping to calm down the dragons she went into the woods by herself. She didn’t doubt that she was safe. The centaurs still roamed here and she was on good terms with them. She actually became a bit of a legend after she rescued their camp. Sure, the forest was still full with dangerous creatures, but nothing came close to the dangerous creatures she had brought there.

After dealing with werewolves and dragons, one could deal with everything.

She had been walking for nearly an hour when she heard voices. Drawn like a moth to light, she steered in the direction. The dense forest opened up to the edge of the lake, where two students were walking. It didn’t take long for Alicia to recognize them.

As she stepped out of the trees and into plain sight, the two looked up, slightly startled. Alicia smiled a radiant smile. ‘Hello Hermione. Harry.’

‘Blimey! Alicia is that you?’ Hermione asked startled. Harry didn’t seem to doubt that it was her. The Boy Who Lived walked up to her and hugged her. Alicia welcomed the gesture. Hugging was not something she often did these days.

‘Hi Alicia. It’s good to see you again. Are you well?’ Harry asked politely. Hermione was next to hug her, ever so hesitant.

‘I’m great! Having the time of my life,’ she told them with a big smile. ‘But I can’t tell too much about it. On second thought, you shouldn’t even know I’m here…’

‘It’s okay. I know about the dragons for the first task,’ Harry told her.

Her expression dropped. ‘You do?’

‘I…I heard,’ Harry said, running a hand through his untidy hair. He was in need of a haircut.

Alicia crossed her arms and laughed. ‘Hagrid. No wonder he was at the camp yesterday. Well, at least I don’t have to worry about that.’ Her smile disappeared again. ‘What I do worry about, is that you are one of the champions, against all rules.’

Harry sighed. ‘For the last time, I did not put my name in the Goblet of Fire!’

‘I never said you did. I just wish to know who did it for you,’ Alicia replied calmly.

‘You and everyone else. That is, everyone that believes Harry didn’t do it,’ Hermione said with a sad expression. It seemed like a sensitive subject, so Alicia didn’t press it.

‘So you are working in Romania now, right? With Charlie Weasley?’ Hermione asked, changing the subject.

Alicia nodded and had a distant look in her eyes. ‘It’s a dream job for me, really. Never a dull day.’

Hermione looked her up and down. ‘I can see that. You have a couple of scars there.’

Alicia chuckled and rolled her sleeves up a bit further. ‘Many. And I’m sure it’s only the beginning. But I don’t mind. This is my life now. Anyone that can’t handle scars better stay away from me.’

Hermione looked like she wanted to ask another question, but thought better of it. Then Alicia diverted the conversation quickly. ‘So have you spoken to Sirius lately? Is he still free?’

Harry beamed at this. It was clear to her how fond he had grown of his godfather. ‘Yesterday I spoke to him. He is free, yes, but on the run. He wanted to help me out with the dragon. Now we are trying to figure out what he tried to tell me. Something about an easy spell. I don’t suppose you…’

‘Nope,’ Alicia stated firmly.

Harry looked down. ‘Yeah. I thought so.’

‘Hey, you will figure it out. If it is any consolation, I will be close during the first task. I will be on standby when something happens. You just worry about getting past the dragon, then I will worry about your safety.’

This seemed to brighten Harry’s spirits a bit.

‘So you don’t know where Sirius is right now?’ Alicia asked, crossing her arms again and biting her lip.

Both shook their heads. ‘But you can contact him?’

Harry shrugged. ‘The owls can find him.’

‘Of course,’ Alicia breathed. Hermione raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you need to talk to him?’

Alicia shook her head from her thoughts. ‘Well, I’m just curious how he’s doing. See if I can help. Anyway, it was good to see you two again. Please be careful. Not just in the Tournament. There are a lot of strangers here now, a lot of stories we don’t know. Just please watch your backs.’

‘I always do,’ Harry said with a wink. Hermione punched him in the arm. ‘ _I_ always watch your back.’

They laughed at that and said their goodbyes. Alicia watched them walk around the lake when an idea rose to the surface.

There were a lot of people here. Harry was in danger. Sirius would want to get close so he could help. Something told her that Sirius wasn’t far away.

* * *

Alicia hardly remembered eating dinner. After her run-in with Hermione and Harry she had been lost in thought. The urge to find Sirius was strong. It was like her own Sherlock Holmes mystery to solve; she inquired with the centaurs – who were happy to see her again – she used tracking spells and studied a map of the area. While she had been eating the vegetable stew one of her colleagues had prepared, she had an epiphany. She had walked back to her tent to test her theory and was quite sure she could find him. She prepared for her journey that would take place in the night.

She was in the process of lacing up her calf length boots when Charlie’s face appeared through the flap of the tent. She looked up and smiled at her mentor. ‘Charles! To what do I own the pleasure?’

He chuckled and closed the tent behind him. He picked a chair and made himself comfortable. Alicia wasn’t worried; her venture would have to wait until after midnight anyway. Also, Charlie wasn’t much of a talker.

‘Just wanted to bring you this. Bought it in Hogsmeade today. You told me how you missed them,’ he said while throwing a small bag across the room. She caught it without effort in one hand. Inside were multiple chocolate frog packages.

A smile appeared on her face. ‘Thanks! I do miss those!’

‘So what did you do today? Take a stroll?’ he asked while raising an eyebrow. He slung his long legs over another chair, resting his dirty boots on the seat.

Alicia shrugged. ‘Mostly. I ran into Harry and Hermione. Old friends.’

Charlie sighed. ‘Must I remind you that our presence is strictly secret?’

It was her time to raise an eyebrow. ‘You do remember how strict secrets at Hogwarts work right?’

He stared at her for a moment, blinked and laughed. ‘Everyone knows?’

She shrugged. ‘Don’t know. But Harry already knew. I bet it was Hagrid. So the French girl will know too, because of Madame Maxime. Also I thought I saw someone at the camp later that night. I bet all champions will know before it starts. And it is not my fault.’

Charlie nodded. He stared out ahead of him. It was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. ‘I’m scared for Harry. Even if he gets past the dragon, who knows what the other two challenges will be? Not to mention that someone out there wants him to participate. Someone wants to hurt him. My brother often talks about him. He is an extraordinary boy, but he _is_ still a boy.’

Alicia sighed and dropped her head in her hands. ‘I worry too. We can’t interfere. We can’t make it easier. And we are supposed to leave again after the first task. I should have my mind more on the dragons, but there is just so much happening…’

Charlie nodded again. ‘Maybe there are more important things than dragons.’

Alicia made a loud gasping noise. He looked up, a bit startled. ‘How dare you? Who are you and what have you done with Charlie Weasley, dragon enthusiast since the day he was born?!’

This made him laugh. He got up from the chair. Alicia knew he wouldn’t stay long. It wasn’t his style. ‘You are right. Who am I to say such things. Thanks for the wake-up call. And hey, I’m sure Harry will be fine. He has more than enough protection without us.’

Alicia nodded, simply because she didn’t want to argue at this point. Charlie said goodnight and left her tent. When she was alone again, her smile dropped. Yeah, Harry was supposed to have protection. He was supposed to be safe. Supposed to have been stopped from participating in this dangerous Tournament. But maybe she could find someone that would stay behind when she left. Someone that could help him in the challenges to come.

* * *

Dressed in black and covered up to the nose, Alicia stepped out of her tent. The fires were out and only in the distance were people still walking around. Every night they needed guards to keep an eye on the dragons and stop onlookers from getting too close. What they weren’t concerned with however, was anyone leaving the camp.

Within a couple of minutes Alicia was far enough in the woods to not be seen anymore. She produced a new tracking spell that would lead her where she needed to be. A tiny light was floating before her, and it was moving forward rapidly. She jogged to keep up with the light. It led her through the back of the woods, were the ground was rising to form the beginning of the mountains. The ground was uneven and littered with rocks. She watched her step carefully. A sprained ankle was the last thing she needed right now.

After walking along the foot of the mountain for half an hour, the light stopped, hovered and then shot up a hundred meters. She bend backwards to see the light, which was no bigger now than the stars in the sky. But she spotted it right before it faded out.

‘Right. Luckily I’m a witch,’ she said to no one. She decided to use a method she hadn’t used in a while; she lifted a big flat rock from the ground and let it lift her up. It slowed down as she could see a small ridge and a narrow passageway in the rock wall. She stepped carefully on the ridge and trudged forward.

‘Lumos,’ she whispered as the tip of her wand started to shine. She walked deeper into the cave, her eyes watching every corner and nook. Then she heard a sound, like a screech. A second later a big animal changed her.

She yelled and ducked. Above her head two large paws like an eagles were grasping at nothing. She rolled sideways and realised what had charged her. Before he could do it again, she was standing and holding up a hand.

‘Buckbeak! Stop!’ she ordered which a shaking hand. The Hippogriff stopped, but eyed her suspiciously. She bowed deeply, hoping to calm the animal down. After a long moment he bowed back and got closer. He examined her face. The shawl she wore around her head was lowered and the beast sniffed her hair. It recognized the scent as she had fed him many times last year.

‘That’s it. I’m no enemy,’ she said softly, finally daring to stroke his feathers.

‘Aren’t you?’

Her head and wand snapped up in the direction from which the voice had come. However, because of the echoes of the cave it was hard to pinpoint.

‘Sirius?’ she asked. She tried to see in the dark but her eyes had not adjusted yet.

There was a soft murmur, then a _crack_ and then ropes were binding her arms and legs together. She struggled to keep standing. ‘Hey!’

Finally he stepped out of the shadows. Sirius Black looked not too different from the first time she saw him. He still had a gaunt narrow face and limps so lean he resembled a skeleton. However he had a haircut not too long ago and the circles under his eyes were not as bad. He wore dark clothes, with a dark purple coat that suited him much better than the Azkaban rags. His eyes, however looked as dark as last time. He was not happy to see her.

‘Oh come on. There is no need to bind me,’ she protested, hoping a small joke would break the tension.

‘Oh I don’t know what is necessary with you anymore. You are capable of anything.’ It didn’t break the tension.

She sighed deeply and wondered for the first time why she had wanted to find Sirius so badly. She kept telling herself it was because of Harry. But was it…really? _You are just looking for something familiar, aren’t you?_

‘Shh,’ she said. It was meant for her inner dialogue but she had said it out loud. Sirius gave her a funny look. ‘Okay Sirius. You are right. I am a horrible human being. But I am not here for you or me. I’m here because of Harry.’

He bellowed a laugh. ‘Like you care!’

‘I do! I care about Harry,’ she said defiantly. ‘And he is in danger.’

The former prisoner of Azkaban stepped closer. She could see his features better now. He looked like a starving man once more. ‘If you cared, you would have stayed.’

It was hard to look him in the eye. She cast her glance down, but he grabbed her chin and forced her to keep looking. ‘You betrayed us.’

‘Oh now you are just being dramatic. I didn’t betray anyone! I just…chose a different path. I am entitled to do so.’

It was unfair how he was treating her. The heat was rising between the both of them. Two hot headed people in one room…uh cave was not a good combination.

‘Did you really feel good about it then? Did you really feel like you were doing the right thing when you walked out that door?!’ Sirius yelled back at her. She knew he was yelling because he was hurt, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anyone else right now.

‘Look at me! Look me in the face, and ask again why I left!’ she spat back. Her cheeks were flushing, but the rest of her skin was stark white in contrast. It made the scar on her jawbone stand out. Her eyes were burning flames, staring Sirius down. Loose strands of hair were plastered to her sweating forehead and cheeks.

He looked. He actually looked and started to realise what she was saying. The flame within him started to cool down. Different emotions were flickering in his expression.

‘Oh…I didn’t…I hadn’t…’ he tried, not knowing where he wanted to go. She looked away. Tears welled in her eyes. Sirius quietly untied her and stood there. Both of them were quiet for a long moment.

Alicia took a shaky breath. ‘No, it never felt good to make that call, but I had to. I had already made my decision when that final act tipped the scales. I shouldn’t have left angry…but deep down I still am. Angry with you, with him…’

Sirius sighed. ‘Alright. Maybe we should leave the past in the past then. Move forward from here, right? You came here because of Harry? You know he is a champion?’

Alicia was happy he could let it slide. The both of them finally took the time to sit down on an outcrop of stone. Alicia leaned forward as she told him about her encounter with the young Potter. They discussed possible suspects who had put his name in the goblet. They speculated about what the other tasks could be and what Harry would need to learn before each of them happened. They talked for hours, as they had once done before in the Shrieking Shack. Back then Sirius had done all the talking and she had listened. Now they had a conversation. She felt more like his equal now. Even though he was still quite a bit older than her, she had knowledge to share too.

When the conversation had circled back to the dragons, Sirius asked: ‘Can’t you just tell him how to get past the dragon?’

She shook her head as she was twirling a loose thread from her sleeve around her finger. ‘I signed a magical contract. One that was written by Dumbledore. I’m not risking that.’

He huffed. ‘Hmm. But you can control the dragons when stuff gets out of hand?’

‘Control is a big word. One does not simply control a dragon. But yes, I can distract it and get Harry or one of the others to safety. If you ask me, I think this entire ‘use dragons for entertainment’ business is a terrible idea. But I guess people, and mostly magical people, will always be thrill-seekers. I cannot guarantee no one is in danger of getting their hair scorched, even the spectators.’

That made him laugh. ‘I would pay good money to see Snape running around with his filthy hair on fire.’

That mental picture made her laugh too. It had been a long time since she and Sirius had laughed together. What had it been about last time? Oh yeah, when she had to explain to him how a television worked. He had jumped back when the image sprung to life. He had nearly crashed into Remus who was carrying a platter of cakes-

The laughter died in her throat. She cleared it quickly and looked away. Sirius noticed this, obviously.

‘Do you still think about him?’ he asked in the end.

‘Sirius. Please don’t,’ she replied with a small voice.

He adjusted his position so he was facing her more. She turned away. ‘You do. I still don’t understand. Do dragons mean so much to you? So much that you give up the happiness that you had?’

She stood up and turned her back to him. He didn’t follow her. He was waiting for her answer. For a moment she considered leaving without another word. But the injustice of it was killing her. Of course Padfoot would never choose just a girl over Moony, but she wanted him to stop thinking of Moony as a god who never did anything wrong.

‘He gave it up first,’ she said in the end. She wiped a tear away, angry at her body for producing it. She wasn’t sad. She was still very, very angry. 

‘Alicia-,’

‘I will come back with some food. The evening after the first task. I will tell you what happened and we will share a meal and then I will leave with my crew. It is good to see you again Sirius,’ she said. A small smile was on her lips as she looked at him.

‘Okay. Good luck and see you soon. And…sorry for binding you.’

She chuckled and jumped back on the rock that brought her back down.


	3. The first task

Everyone was gathered in half a circle around Mihal, who was elevated above the heads of the tall men by a crate he was standing on. He waited until everyone quieted down before he started.

‘Today is the big day men! Oh and ladies,’ he added quickly as he looked at Alicia in the front row. She crossed her arms and waved off the laughs around her. ‘The first task of the Triwizard Tournament will be held this afternoon. Four champions have been chosen. They will each be assigned a dragon, and they will have to get past them to get this…’

At this point, someone next to him opened a box. Mihal took out a shiny golden egg. ‘This is their price. I don’t really know what it means, but we have given the eggs to the dragons a week ago. They have accepted them as their own, and will guard them as such. This is not going to be easy for the candidates! Dumbledore has set up an arena close to the castle. We will move the dragons there now, and then release one dragon per round into the arena. Of course we must keep them hidden to not spoil the surprise.’

Alicia huffed. _It is all about the spectacle. Maybe a fireball or two will be thrown into the crowd, that might light them up!_ Her thoughts were with Harry. In her mind she could see him struggling to not get roasted or impaled or torn to shreds.

‘For each dragon, we will have an emergency team. This team interferes if the contestant is lethally injured or gives up. To the Swedish Shortsnout the team will be Christian, Daniel…’

Her concentration was interrupted when someone bumped into her shoulder. It was Charlie.

‘I put you in my team,’ he murmured.

‘And which dragon will that be?’ she asked, already getting a feeling she knew which one that would be.

‘For the Hungarian Horntail: Charlie, Alicia, Andrei and Virgil,’ Mihal announced.

‘You seemed to have bonded with our horned lady last time,’ Charlie said with a satisfied look on his face. He had been practicing that line. Ever since he placed her in that team.

‘Fine,’ she said while exhaling. ‘I can handle anything now.’

He bumped her shoulder again. ‘That attitude will get you killed. Get your head in the game Fata foc. Today, we write history.’

* * *

It didn’t seem like writing history. Sure there were lot of spectators gathering in the stands, and the air seemed to hum with anxiousness and excitement, but she wasn’t sure it would make the history books. Unless Harry died today. Then she would go down in history as the girl who murdered Harry Potter.

From the moment she had heard Harry was one of the champions, she was sure he would be picked for the Horntail. Not by his choice, but by choice of whoever wanted him in the competition. This person was trying to kill him. Best to do so with the most aggressive dragon species one could find! Seeing she was convinced Harry would be picked for the Horntail, it would come down to her to save his life.

Everyone was on standby. They had already decided the order for the dragons to appear, so Alicia knew she was last. There was time. Time she was going to use. When most of the men were occupied with drinking and eating, she sneaked out around the arena. On the other side was a large tent, big enough to hide the arena and the dragon cages from view from the entrance. She knew all of this was to build up the tension for the audience. But it was also the resting place for the champions.

A shrill whistle went off and she could hear it when the Swedish Shortsnout was released into the arena. The _oohs_ and _ahhhs_ of the crowd indicated that he was not yet aggressive. That is usually how it starts. Later there is running and screaming.

She made sure no one was around when she slipped into the tent. Inside there were three people. Victor Krum was sitting on a crate. He stared at the floor like he hoped it would open up and suck him in. To her left was Fleur Delacour. The pretty girl looked very nervous, if the nail biting was anything to go by. And finally there was Harry, who looked pale too. But he seemed ready in a sort of way.

‘Alicia?’ he said as he noticed her come in. The other two looked up too but said nothing. Alicia decided to walk over to him and embrace him in a quick and strong hug.

‘I had to see you quickly. The dragons are picked then? Which one did you get?’ she asked as she kneeled in front of the bench he was sitting on.

‘The Horntail,’ he said with a low voice. It was almost sarcastic, like he wanted to add _what else?_

Alicia sighed. ‘Of course. Did you think of a plan? Do you have something when you walk into that arena?’

It was his turn to sigh. ‘Yes. I’m not a complete moron. And please don’t offer help-,’

‘I wasn’t going to. I only want to make sure you stick to your plan. I trust you,’ she told him. She placed a hand over his arm and gave it a quick squeeze. He showed her the hint of a smile.

‘Besides, I’m on the emergency team for the Horntail. You get that, right? I will be there if it _really_ goes sideways. I trust you. Trust in me too.’

This almost made his eyes watery. She noticed how he had to look away and blink a couple of times to compose himself. ‘I trust you,’ he whispered back.

She smiled broadly at him and squeezed his arm one more time. ‘You can do this Harry. You aren’t a living legend for nothing!’

‘Are those scars from dragons?’ asked Fleur, who had come closer to the two old friends. Victor was behind her, eying the two like he was afraid she would give Harry the golden tip to win the competition.

She stood up slowly and faced Fleur. ‘Most of them.’

They were distracted by a loud shouting and cheering. Cedric must have gotten his egg.

‘That is my cue to leave. Good luck all of you. Oh and Harry, it kinda goes without saying but watch out for the Horntails horned tail. Some people get too distracted by the teeth and claws that they forget that,’ Alicia said as she was leaving. One final look at Harry showed her that her visit had given him some colour back in his face and a small smile on his lips. It was the best she could do for now.

Now all she had to do was keep him alive.

* * *

The tension was too much to bear. Alicia had bitten off three nails and had pulled out a tuft of hair. Watching Fleur and Victor was bad enough, but seeing Harry, clever clever Harry, summoning his broom and flying around the agitated dragon brought her a mixed feeling of pride and nausea. It had been a brilliant plan to get in the air. The dragon was tethered to the ground by a massive chain, but it wasn’t even trying to get away. She was protecting the eggs – including the golden one. Harry was getting closer and closer to the Horntail in an attempt to make her take flight.

As he swept down again Alicia could see the tail raising up to smash him off his broom.

‘Look out for the tail!’ Alicia shouted before she could think. However her shout was muffled by the many sounds from the audience. Harry was quick, but not quite quick enough. One of the horns ripped open his shoulder.

‘Shit!’ She exclaimed, ready to jump into action. Charlie and Virgil held her back.

‘Not yet Alicia! Can you at least try not to sound so biased?’ Virgil asked, a frown plastered to his serious face. Alicia whipped her head around to give him a scowl. ‘You can kiss my biased ass Virgil! That is my friend up there, in mortal danger!’

He gave her a look but said nothing. It didn’t matter anymore how biased she was. She couldn’t help him anymore at this point. The only thing she had to refrain herself from doing, was running into that arena and helping him. Not unless he was dying.

There went another nail.

Harry had finally driven the dragon so crazy that she was jumping off from the ground and flapping her gigantic wings out. She took flight and for a moment Alicia thought the chain would snap. But before too much pressure could be set on the chain, Harry was diving for the nest. He was a blur as he sped past them, snatching the golden egg and getting himself out of range from the dragon.

‘He did it! He got the egg!’ Charlie said in disbelief.

Moments later their team ran out. All of them cast sleeping spells on the Horntail, making her calmly settle back on the ground. The chain had held, the eggs were still whole and Harry was alive. Alicia took a shuddering breath. Relief washed over her as they all worked together to levitate the beast back in her cage. Once all the locks were back on, she could really relax. Her heart was pounding in her ear and she suddenly felt exhausted. She crashed down in the grass and stared at the cheering crowd.

Charlie came over for a high-five. ‘That went smoother than expected.’

‘Damn straight. I thought that chain would snap,’ Alicia said. She ran a hand through her untidy hair and felt cold sweat on her neck.

‘Days like these are good for the heart! I haven’t felt my heart beat so quickly in years. And I work with dragons daily!’ Charlie said while placing a hand over his heart. Even sitting next to him at a decent distance, she could hear his heartbeat.

‘I think that is because usually the only people who come close to the dragons are professionals. Now we exposed four kids to them. Guess you are just as biased as I am,’ Alicia said with a chuckle. She ruffled his hair, making the braid less tidy.

‘Of course. Mum is treating him like one of her own children. Speaking of which, I need to write to her that Harry is alright.’

Alicia smiled at nothing in particular. There was just this immense relief. This immense pressure that was lifted from her chest. It had felt like she hadn’t breathed properly since she heard Harry was chosen. She jumped back to her feet and offered a hand to her currently best friend.

‘Come on. Let’s find our champion.’

* * *

There was a crowd of people surrounding Harry when he stood by the entrance of the arena. There were a lot of Gryffindors, but also Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. Even teachers wanted to congratulate him.

Charlie pushed towards the boy with the untidy black hair and spoke to him briefly. He needed to tell Harry that he was needed in the tent for some more instructions. They had run into Ludo Bagman, who had recognized Charlie as a friend of Harry. It had pained her a bit that she wasn’t recognized as one.

After she saw Harry disappear into the tent, she turned around to see the group of cheering people that waited for him. A broad smile crossed her face.

‘Blimey! Isn’t that our Nessie?’

‘It is! Nessie!’

Before she knew it she was pulled into a hug with Fred and George Weasley.

‘Hello boys! Good to see you!’ she said back. She was so happy right now. All the memories of school started flooding back to her. All the parties in the Gryffindor tower. She was overwhelmed with the nostalgia. Also because no one had called her Nessie in a long time.

Charlie caught up on that too. ‘Nessie? Is that what you call Fata foc?’ he said with a smile on his face.

It wasn’t just the twins. Ron, Hermione and Ginny had also stayed. ‘What does Fata foc mean?’ Ginny asked her older brother.

He was positively beaming at Alicia. ‘It means _Fire girl._ Not just because of the dragons, but mostly because of her attitude. Also, she liked it better than Fata lup.’ He winked.

Alicia’s face reddened and she shook her head. ‘Nessie, Fata foc…I’m whatever people want me to be,’ she said jokingly. The rest didn’t seem to catch her angry glance at the oldest present Weasley.

‘We are going to celebrate Harry’s victory tonight! You should come! For old times’ sake,’ Fred said, not even a little bit subtle how badly he wanted her to come. She sighed and tried to hide a smile.

‘Alright then.’

There was a high-five, some cheering and a quick kiss on her cheek. Then the twins left. She shook her head as she watched them go.

‘You sure you can handle yourself tonight?’ Charlie asked with a cheeky smirk on his face. Alicia punched him softly. ‘I can handle all Weasleys.’

They waited for Harry to return. He was looking so much better than before the challenge. He saw Alicia and hugged her quickly.

‘You didn’t watch the tail.’

‘Hey, shut up.’


	4. Double trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry peeps, I'm a day late because of some person stuff I had to deal with yesterday. But here is the next chapter :)

Fred and George hadn’t lied when they said they would throw a big party. There were mountains of cakes and pastries and fountains of pumpkin juice and butterbeer. Someone had set off long lasting fireworks that kept exploding over and over, making the ceiling look like a glittery sky. The Gryffindor common room was once more filled with people. Happy, cheering people who had finally decided Harry did not put his name in the Goblet of Fire.

It was fun to catch up with some old friends. Alicia recognized most people that were present. She had only been gone from Hogwarts for a couple of months, and she had never had a problem to talk with younger students. It was one of those teenager things to only speak with people your exact age, but Alicia hadn’t been so short-sighted. It worked out in her favour now, as she went from the one to the other to talk to them.

One of her conversations fell silent and she could hear Charlie say: ‘Then she said: you can kiss my biased ass!’ The group of people around him laughed heartedly. He caught her eye and she showed him her rudest finger.

‘Must be a bit overwhelming, isn’t it?’ someone said from behind her. She looked around to find Fred, leaning against the wall in what he thought was a seductive stance. He had a glass of butterbeer in his hand.

‘What is overwhelming?’ she asked with a smile. Throwing all caution overboard, she leaned against the wall too…quite close to Fred.

He swallowed, clearly surprised by her willingness to lean close to him. ‘Seeing so many unfamiliar people in here. Do you miss school, your classmates?’

She chuckled. ‘I was just thinking that I know a fair share of people in here. I had many friends, not just the ones from my year. I know you, for example, don’t I?’

He chuckled too. ‘Oh that’s right. Famous Nessie. Nessie with the pile of Valentines cards. Nessie with the admirers and followers.’

She raised the hand that was holding her glass and the butterbeer sloshed over the side. She was not sober anymore. ‘That is only the general view people got to see. Very unfair. I am a lovely person.’

His expression changed. The smile disappeared and he looked very serious. Very…sensual. He licked his lower lip. ‘Yes you are.’

Before she could react, he had reached forward and kissed her. His lips were warm and wet against hers. Somehow he had got rid of the glass he was holding and that hand was currently in her wild, tangled hair. It seemed to go on for a long time, and he only broke away when someone whistled at them.

When she opened her eyes, she could see a satisfied look on his face. He had been planning this. He had heard from Charlie probably that she would be here and he had planned it all. The thought made her stomach flutter. It was sweet.

‘I have wanted to do that for a long time,’ Fred confessed.

Alicia couldn’t help the nervous giggle. She hadn’t kissed anyone in…

‘I know you have.’

‘I hope that was okay,’ he said with a wink.

She considered it. ‘Yeah. It was okay.’

He relaxed a bit and retrieved his glass to take a big swallow. ‘So no boyfriend in Romania? One wonders…you are surrounded by men all the time right?’

This made her laugh. He looked at her and laughed with her. ‘Yes, there are many men there but there are no _men_ there. My colleagues are like boys. They joke about sex, also when I’m around, but I wonder if they ever get any. They are quite disgusting and not charming. So, I’ll pass.’

‘Even my brother?’ he asked, looking for and locating Charlie in the crowd. He was talking to Neville excitedly, probably about a dragon. Neville looked pale.

‘Charlie is a bit different. Not as…vulgar. But I’m pretty sure he would rather marry a dragon than a woman,’ she said with a chuckle. Fred agreed and it made both of them burst out in a set of laughter.

Dean Thomas appeared at that moment. He had a sly look on his face as he greeted them. Alicia was quite sure he had been whistling earlier. He asked if he could borrow Fred and she waved them away. She was going for a bite anyway.

As she stared at all the food on the table there was a nagging idea in the back of her mind. Like something important that she had forgotten…But it was just beyond her reach. She muttered in frustration.

‘Talking to the food now, are we?’

She spun around a bit too quickly. Her dizzy brain registered two boys at first, but then she saw only one. Her first thought was that Fred was already claiming her attention again, but after a moment she recognized George.

‘George! Do you always have to comment on everything I do?’ she said with a laugh. At this point she was sure people could notice she was tipsy.

‘What can I say, you do interesting things,’ he said with a lowered voice. After that he winked at her, but the movement was slow. So he was tipsy too.

She laughed again. ‘Do I?’

He made a grant gesture of placing his arm around her shoulders and pointing up at the ceiling. She was trying to see what he was seeing, but to her it was just the fireworks.

‘Saving people from monsters, infatuating half the school with your looks and wits, looking completely badass with those scars and your latest achievement…talking to the FOOD!’ he broke out in laughter towards the end of that sentence. Alicia couldn’t help but laugh too. It was just too funny!

After a moment of laughing, he turned to face her, holding her still close in his arm. ‘Did you know I send you a Valentines card too? Last year.’

She blinked about ten times. ‘No. I did not know. Why?’

He leaned in to whisper in her ear. His breath tickled. ‘Because Fred was not the only one who liked you. But I never wanted to fight over it,’ he told her earnest.

A part of her mind already knew where this was going. But it was hard to think logically. Damn, these twins were too good at getting her drunk. ‘Why are you telling me now then?’

She looked up in his eyes. Another mistake. Now it looked like she was inviting him. _So what? You are single and you did not initiate this. Have a little fun!_ But she knew this would cause trouble later.

‘Because it is good to see you again and hell I just want to see if I have a chance,’ he told her.

She nodded absently.

‘So do I?’

‘Do you what?’

‘Have a chance?’

She looked into his hazel eyes wondering what she needed to say. No, what she wanted to say. She shrugged and chuckled. ‘I dunno. Find out for yourself.’

Was that the wrong thing to say? Anyway, it resulted in George leaning in and kissing her. The kiss was similar to the one she had ten minutes ago with his brother. Only George seemed a bit more eager. He pushed his lips fiercer to hers, like he knew this was the only moment he would ever get with her.

Then he drew back and looked at her. Not quite satisfied, but happy nonetheless. ‘Damn. That was amazing.’

She laughed again. ‘Yeah I guess so. I missed kissing.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘Well if you miss it so much, we could do some more. Let me get Harry real quick. I can borrow the map from him and find us a nice spot.’

She made a sudden erratic movement that scared George and made some people look over. She had flung her hands up in the air and had caught a platter of pastries that were now clattering to the floor.

‘Shit! Padfoot!’

The rest seemed to think this was normal behaviour for a drunk person so they turned back to their conversations. Only George looked at her with a startled and confused look. ‘What?’

She turned around, transformed a napkin into a bag and shoved some food in it. ‘I need to go. Sorry George. Maybe some other time.’

She closed the bag and turned on her heels. George was still there. He took her arms in his hands and looked at her. ‘Did you just say Padfoot? Do you know about the map?’

‘Yes. Harry showed me last year. Please I need to go. I’m already late.’

‘But-,’

‘Sorry again!’ she said while wiggling herself out of his grasp. She walked through the crowded room to the exit. Along the way she saw Harry, gave him a hair ruffle and said her goodbye quickly. Then she saw Fred. He didn’t seem angry. Good, he hadn’t seen it. And George hadn’t seen it either. _That was going to be an uncomfortable conversation one day._

Bye Fred!’ she yelled in his direction and darted for the portrait of the Fat Lady. She did not notice that someone followed her.

* * *

With the bag slung over her shoulder she stumbled through the Forbidden Forest. Alicia laughed to herself, thinking how ‘forbidden’ these woods had been to her over the years. In her first year it had felt like a terrible crime to walk among the trees. But that feeling disappeared quickly when Hagrid was encouraging her more than anything. In her third year she could draw out a map of areas to avoid and dangerous natural places like swamps and crevices.

In these woods, she could forget the world. She could forget her painful memories and worries. She felt so at ease that she started to skip and sing the Hogwarts song to herself. After her third verse she heard an unfamiliar _crack_ behind her.

She whirled around with her wand outstretched and had send a stunning spell in two seconds. She might be tipsy, but not careless.

‘Bloody hell! You are dangerous, even when you are drunk,’ a voice said in the darkness. It was a cloudy night with light drizzle and there was hardly any light around her. But even in the dark, she could tell it was a Weasley by the orange hair.

He decided to make a light himself. It was Charlie.

‘Why are you following me?’ she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

‘Why do you think? You are drunk and _skipping_ in the Forbidden Forest. I want to make sure you find your bed without being eaten,’ he said while crossing his arms over his chest.

Alicia threw her head back and laughed so hard that she heard howls in the distance react to her. ‘Oh heroic little Weasley! Did you think I needed assistance? Did you think I was not safe? I don’t know what you did in those seven years at school, but I got to know the woods like the inside of my pocket!’

He sighed. ‘I also followed you because you left very suddenly. Something tells me you are not heading for the camp. Definitely not judging by that bag of food.’

‘Midnight snacks,’ she said easily.

‘Alicia…’

‘Ohhh he is using my name again! This must be serious!’

‘Are you going somewhere dangerous?’ he asked, still sounding like an overprotective brother.

‘Pfff. No.’ Not dangerous to her, but Charlie wouldn’t agree if she told him she was going to meet a still wanted criminal.

He was silent for a moment. He seemed to think about something very hard. Alicia wondered where Charlie thought she was going, but she was not prepared for what he asked next.

‘Are you going to see Remus?’

She gaped like a fish at first. Then all the alcohol seemed to vaporize from her system as she got really angry.

‘I told you not to speak his name! How dare you?! Get the fuck of my case Charlie! I’ve had enough Weasleys for one night!’

‘What is that supposed to…’ Charlie looked around only to notice that she had suddenly sprinted away. With the fog hanging between the trees it was already impossible to see her. Defeated, he walked back to the camp. 

* * *

With much grumbling and cursing Alicia found her way up the side of the mountain. Sirius stood by the opening to watch her climb over the edge.

‘Hey Padfoot,’ she panted as she finally reached the top.

‘Did you just…climb?’

‘No…I started with the lifting spell but my concentration broke so it stopped. I climbed the last part,’ she confessed as she got back to her feet. Sirius steadied her and led her away from the edge.

‘You are late. And drunk?’ he said, sniffing her breath. Alicia pushed him away and sat down.

‘Sorry, I got invited to a party. But I did bring food!’ she opened the bag and hoped it would be enough of a peace offering.

Sirius snatched a tart from the bag and ate it gratefully. ‘Thank you. This is more and better food than I’ve had in some time. Although your home-made pie was the best I ate in all my life.’

Alicia chuckled at the memory. ‘My dad loves to bake. He taught me the family recipe years ago. I am not much of a cook but I do love to make pies. It was a success, wasn’t it? You ate half of it!’

Sirius laughed. ‘Yes I did. I would have taken the whole thing if you two hadn’t claimed a piece.’

A silence stretched between them. This happened all the time when someone mentioned _him._ Alicia didn’t like to talk about it.

‘Harry is safe,’ Alicia stated.

‘I know,’ Sirius replied, wiping his hands.

‘He summoned his broom and flew around the Horntail.’

‘I know. He told me in detail.’ Sirius got out a letter from his pocket. ‘Although I was supposed to hear it from you. Did you have fun in the castle?’

She thought about what had happened. It was all just so silly. She started to giggle. ‘Yeah you could say that.’

Sirius remained silent as he observed her. She was slowly on laughing harder and harder. At first he wanted to calm her down, but her laugh was very contagious.

‘Alicia please,’ he pleaded, trying to hide his grin.

‘My…life,’ she tried to say between the giggles, ‘…is one big…joke!’

He was supposed to see that as a sign she was not okay, but it was just a bit too funny. Also, he felt a similar feeling when he looked back on his own life.

‘You are a joke? I’m the one living in a cave and talking to a Hippogriff!’

This set her off into uncontrollable laughter. She fell to the floor and clutched her stomach. ‘Stop Sirius! I’m serious!’

‘No! I am!’ he said as he too fell over onto the floor. They withered around like two maniacs. Every time they caught each other’s eye, they started again. It was a good ten minutes before the laughter was subduing.

‘I hate the serious jokes,’ Alicia said in the end as they were staring up at the roof of the cave.

‘No you don’t. They are the cheesy, overdone backup jokes that somehow always work,’ Sirius told her.

She giggled again and stared ahead. Both of them were silent before Alicia broke it.

‘I kissed two boys tonight.’

Sirius rolled over to watch her. ‘Way to go sweetheart. You were conscious while this happened?’

She reached out and punched him without looking. The _oof_ she heard was enough indication she had struck him. ‘It weren’t just two boys. It were the Weasley twins. And I don’t think they saw the other kiss me. Meaning that one day they are going to have a brilliant conversation.’

Sirius laughed again. ‘Cheeky girl! You are almost the legend I was at school. Did you ever notice we are quite similar?’

It was her turn to laugh. ‘You wish! I am so much prettier.’

He took one of the small cakes from the bag and raised it in his hand. ‘Take that back.’

‘…No.’

 _Smack!_ He actually threw the cake in her face. Frosting dripped over her features as she wiped the cake from her eyes. Then she stuck her finger in her mouth. ‘Bloody waste of food Padfoot. And also you made me more sweet and delicious than I already am.’

‘You are insufferable,’ Sirius sighed as he too ran a finger over her face and licked the frosting.

‘Well then you finally know how it feels to hang out with you,’ she replied quickly. She added a wink for good measure.

They were both wiping the food from her face and eating it. If Alicia had made a mental picture of how this would look like to a bystander they would have burst into laughter again.

‘Alicia?’

‘Hmm?’

He looked her down long and hard. ‘Are you really going back to Romania?’

‘Don’t ask stupid questions Padfoot,’ she said while sitting up and wiping the remains from her face with magic.

‘But you had your fun now right? Maybe you can…come home,’ Sirius tried. In that moment he sounded years younger. Like a teenage boy who pleaded his friend not to abandon him again.

Alicia rested against the wall and looked at Sirius. ‘Sirius, listen to me. There is no home waiting for me. That couple of weeks that the three of us spend together in his house were nice, I will admit that. But that was never going to last. You need to keep out of sight, he needs to change careers every couple of months and I have a job in another country that makes me happy. And you know I didn’t just leave because of the dragons, right?’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘What? But Re- he told me that you left because you wanted that job.’

That should have made her furious, but she had no energy left to start raging. She suddenly felt tired. Tired from a long day of tension of despair. But also tired in general. Tired since she had had that fight with Remus.

‘I left because we didn’t agree about the future. Because he wanted to go left where I wanted to go right. We could not see the other’s point of view. And to be completely honest, I still can’t. It wasn’t me who wanted to throw away our happiness. That was him.’

Sirius sat utterly still and listened intently. It was the first time she was speaking about their break-up since she told Charlie.

‘It was a heated argument we had. We both said things we regret, I think. But it weren’t just words he threw at me…’ She fought against the tears in her eyes. ‘And I can’t even be angry with him, because I _know_ he regrets it. I know he wasn’t in his right mind. But Sirius it still _hurts-_ ‘

Keeping the tears in was just impossible. She clamped her hands over her face and sobbed. She heard Sirius get up and felt him sitting next to her, embracing her tightly.

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t know enough and I shouldn’t have judged without the full truth. I take my words back from yesterday and today. Alicia…I…’ he said, feeling rather sentimental himself.

She looked up with red eyes. ‘It’s alright. I forgive you.’ His lip wobbled for a moment before he pulled her in a tight hug. They sat like that for a while. Alicia finally felt a sense of closure. All this time she wanted someone to believe her, to see her side of the story. To most people it felt like she was the coward that ran away. She hated that. If someone like Sirius could see her side, than she had faith that more could.

She wasn’t so alone anymore.

After a while she decided to go back to the camp. She wasn’t feeling tipsy anymore, she was only very tired. It was time to get some rest.

She hugged Sirius tightly. ‘I will see you again, I promise. And hey, if Britain ever becomes too small for a fugitive, you are always welcome at my place.’

He chuckled. ‘I’ll keep that in mind…what is it they used to call you? Nessie?’

She smiled at that. ‘I was Nessie. Now I’m Fata foc. The fire girl.’

‘Ha! Even better! Goodbye Fata foc. I’ll see you soon.’

* * *

Alicia woke up with a headache. She strolled around the camp to look for the potions kit. As she was sent from one tent to the other – everyone was packing already and nobody was really organised – some men who were having breakfast followed her with amused expressions.

When she finally found the right potion against headaches she sat down on a bench and drank it. Everyone was staring.

‘What?’ she asked the small crowd.

‘Had a wild party last night?’ Christian asked bemused.

She huffed. ‘Nothing I couldn’t handle. I’ve had loads of parties like these over the years.’

Some of them chuckled deeply. ‘Rumour goes around you kissed someone at this party you could ‘handle’,’ Daniel said while quoting the last word with his fingers.

Her mouth dropped open. She looked around and was happy to see that Charlie was not present.

‘Who started that rumour?’ she hissed.

Christian raised his hand with a chuckle. ‘I ran into a group of students this morning while we were at the arena. One of the Gryffindor girls was more than happy to tell me what you had been up to. She said: I saw Nessie kissing a ginger boy, probably a Weasley.’

At this, the rest laughed too. Alicia’s face turned scarlet. ‘Alright, do I have to say out loud not to mention this to Charlie or do you guys have common sense?’

‘So it wasn’t Charlie then?’

She threw the empty potion bottle at his head. This caused another uproar of laughter.

‘Never knew you had a thing for gingers!’

‘Oh please God, why does Charlie not notice me?’

‘One glass of butterbeer and she is kissing the first man she can find!’

There was no way this was going to stay quiet. It was time to count her blessings. One: the girl didn’t know who she had kissed. Two: no one knew she had kissed _two_ Weasleys. Three: and this was the harder one to appreciate right now; the guys were treating her like they would treat one of the boys. Every time they did something annoying and stupid like this she felt a little more integrated in the group.

Of course she was not going to show she secretly appreciated it.

‘If you are all quite done,’ she started saying, waiting for them to quiet down, ‘Yeah I might have drunk a bit more than I should. Charlie already knew one of his brothers fancied me. What can I say? I’m irresistible.’

Of course they grunted their protests at this. Alicia was happy to see they had lost their interest in the topic.

Their work that day was to break down the camp and keep the dragons calm. They were already in the transporting crates so there was no need for transfers now. The plan was to circle the crates with twenty people and disapparate all at the same time. They were far enough from the castle ground for apparition. Everything went smoothly. The tents were already gone and packed. Everyone had gathered around their dragon. Alicia peeked inside to see the Horntail. She was sleeping.

‘Oh look we have visitors,’ Virgil said. Alicia looked up to see three figures that had appeared in the clearing. It were Madame Maxime, Karkaroff and Dumbledore. A handful of people walked up to them. Alicia stepped closer too.

They were shaking hands with Mihal and thanking him for their services. The giant lady asked to have one more look at the dragons and she was guided in their direction. Alicia just waited. It was a surprise to her when Dumbledore walked in her direction.

‘Hello again Alicia. I haven’t had the pleasure to talk with you yet,’ he said in his usual calm voice.

Alicia smiled shyly. ‘I didn’t know I was interesting to talk to, Headmaster.’

He smiled. ‘In my opinion, everyone is interesting. Everyone has their story. Sometimes hidden. Sometimes in plain sight.’ He didn’t really gesture at the visible scar on her cheek, but she knew what he was saying. ‘I meant to ask you something. Something I should have asked you in person a while ago.’

Alicia smiled but it did not reach her eyes. ‘I know what you want to ask me Headmaster. But the answer is no.’

He stared at her for a moment. Maybe he was trying to read her mind. ‘Have you considered it?’

She crossed her arms now, a signal to show him she wasn’t going to be manipulated. ‘I have. And you are not the first to try to get me to stay in Britain. I bet I could be a great asset to you, but that is not who I want to be. I am free to make my own choices.’

The twinkle in his eye dimmed. He knew she wasn’t going to bend. ‘Very right you are. And what a path you have chosen! Dragons are magnificent. Dangerous to everyone, but I bet you can see the beauty behind the monster.’

She wasn’t in the mood for his word games. ‘Anything else you wanted to say?’

‘Yes. One more thing. I have a little gift for you. Someone told me these are your favourite,’ he said while taking out a small colourful box.

‘Do you give chocolate frogs to everyone?’ she asked while taking the sweet.

‘Just the ones that I deem worthy,’ he said cheerfully. She shook her head and tucked the box in a pocket. ‘Thank you. Goodbye Headmaster.’

‘Until next time,’ he concluded as he started walking away.

Alicia stood there for a moment. He always seemed so sure of his own case. She knew it was a form of manipulation he was doing. It seemed like he could look into the future and tell you what path to take. Well, he had to be wrong sometimes. He would be wrong about her. She was not coming back.

Definitely not to be a soldier in a war.

She opened the chocolate frog box and ate the creature before it could get away. She expected to see a card at the bottom, but instead there was a small piece of paper.

_12 Grimmauld Place_

_London_

**End of book II**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of the second part, which is during the Goblet of Fire. Sorry if it's confusing, but this story will continue into the next part. Next chapter will be next week as per usual :)


	5. Romania

**Book III**

It was a night like many others. There was a heavy rain falling down, which urged most people to stay indoors. Even thunder and lightning came into play. Most people would do well to finish their business, close their windows and get cosy inside. Unfortunately that wasn’t an option for Alicia Doreen.

She hadn’t meant to start a fight; really she didn’t. But when they started throwing punches how could she decline to give them what they deserved? Why three wizards and one witch were fighting without magic was beyond anyone’s understanding. Maybe it was because the men were partially drunk and the woman was rusty with duelling spells.

She ducked just in time to not get her teeth knocked out. The heavyweight wizard was drawing back his arm and preparing for another blow. The witch had to be quick. The other two men were temporarily distracted – one was stuck in a barrel the other was nursing his bloody hand – so she had to get this guy on his ass too. Three to one was going to be tricky.

‘Why won’t you stand still little witch?’ the man said with a gravelly voice. He kept trying to punch her but she kept twisting this way and that to avoid it. She was almost having fun and getting reckless when she lost her footing and was too slow to dodge a fist to her jaw. She heard bones snap and felt a sharp pain running through her head. She was thrown back and hit a pile of crates.

‘Shit,’ she muttered, holding her jaw. The skinny guy was back in the game again. ‘Double shit.’ 

‘You bit me!’ he squeaked as he held his hand up. He would have a nice scar in the shape of her teeth.

This was taking too long. She picked up an empty bottle from the street and charged the two men like a raging bull. This scared the little one but not the big one. As the little one got out of her way, she dived down and hit the big man’s shin with the bottle. It broke against his leg. Pieces of glass were stuck in his flesh.

He howled in pain. The skinny guy was looking perplexed at her quick movements. Within a second she had ran the broken bottle over his leg too, and now both of them were crouching down.

‘Alright. Time for some-,’

How stupid of her, to forget about the third one. Arms circled her from the back. He pressed her body tightly to his.

‘Caught myself a bird! A nasty bird that is too free. Maybe we should clip your wings!’ he hissed in her ear. Of course all these men found themselves so witty and clever. But he hadn’t considered the rain.

‘Careful, or the bird will slip away,’ she told him with a seductive voice. He was leaning in to listen to her, when she knocked her head back. She heard a _crack_ and was sure she had broken his nose.

Then she fell to her knees and because of her soaked leather coat it was impossible for the wizard to keep his hold on her. She slipped between his arms like an oiled baby and kicked out at his crotch. He went down.

She got up. His hold on her had been so tight she might have cracked a rib. Blood was running from her mouth and she felt sore all over. Then she finally got her wand out.

‘As I was saying, Time for some magic.’ She pointed her wand at the big man first and knocked him out. The skinny guy was next.

‘No! Please, no! I have children!’ he pleaded as he tried to crawl away. However he kept slipping on the cobblestones and fell back to the ground.

Alicia crouched down and placed the tip of her wand against his cheek. ‘I bet they are real proud of their daddy. _Impedimenta!’_ His head was knocked back against the ground and he fell silent.

The third one, a guy in his forties sporting a moustache and partially greying hair, was still holding his precious parts in his hands. He seemed ready to be knocked out. She hoisted him to his feet.

‘What? You are not going to stun me?’ he asked, more perplexed than angry.

She flashing him a brilliant, dangerous smile. ‘I need one of you silly. You are going to open your storage for me and give me back all the horns you stole. And if I don’t count twelve of them, you won’t end up as lucky as your friends.’

* * *

With a heavy _thump_ Alicia dumped the duffel bag on the table. Mihal unzipped the bag to see it full with sawed-off horns.

‘That will be the last time these men are dealing in Romanian Longhorn-horns,’ she told them confidently.

Mihal, Christian and Charlie were staring at the bag. It was Mihal who spoke first. ‘I didn’t expect you to be back so soon. Well done! How is your jaw?’

She touched her face softly and winced. ‘Could use some mending.’

‘Christian,’ Mihal suggested. He came over and placed his wand to her cheek.

‘Auch,’ she complained.

‘Don’t cry Fata foc. _Episkey.’_

There was a weird sound and it felt like someone had tugged on her jawbone very hard but then the pain subdued.

‘What did you do with them?’ Charlie asked. He ran his index finger and thumb over his chin in a thoughtful gesture. He was still getting used to the stubble he was growing out.

‘Tied up and obliviated. As per usual. Now can I go take a shower? A hot one?’ Alicia felt a lot of sore muscles and just wanted to get comfortable for the evening.

‘No eggs?’ Mihal asked. Alicia shook her head. Then they all heard an excited sound from outside the hut they were standing in. The door stood ajar and opened further as something sped through the entrance. The creature was the size of a small goat. It ran around until it found Alicia and curled around her ankles.

‘It still astonishes me,’ Christian said in wonder. His eyes were big as he looked down.

‘I guess more women should join our forces. Who knows how many creatures will see them as mommies,’ Mihal joked.

Charlie sighed. ‘I just wish you had given him another name.’

Alicia opened her arms and picked up the young dragon. ‘Never,’ she replied to Charlie.

It was an unique case. Dragons were always dangerous, always vicious and always off-limits to cuddle. However, when a traveller had brought an egg in last year and it had hatched with Alicia present, the creature had imprinted on her. It was only ten months old now, so it still had a lot of growing to do. For now it was a perfect pet-sized dragon. But one day that would prove more of a challenge.

‘Opaleyes are getting rarer by the day. But this girl has one as a _pet,_ ’ Christian said to no one in particular. He was biting his nails. A lot of people in the camp had never seen behaviour like this before and were at an utter loss as to what to do with it.

‘He is not my pet, he is my friend. For now it is easy to have him half running half flying around the camp. But soon things will have to change. Or I wake up one day in my cabin without a roof.’ She stroked his back. Small stumps started to appear along his spine where one day big deadly spikes would protrude. Antipodean Opaleye dragons were not among the most aggressive dragon breeds, but to see them as a pet would be a mistake. It turned one beautifully multi-coloured pupil-less eye to her. Sometimes she thought she could see star constellations in those eyes.

‘We’ll deal with that later. Good job on the retrieval tonight Alicia. I am still sorry for involving you,’ Mihal said. Alicia looked away. ‘It’s alright. But I’m going for that shower now. Don’t wake me up until noon.’ With that she stepped outside.

It was still pouring. She clutched her new child to her chest as she made her way to her own cabin. The Romanian Dragon Sanctuary was an international institute run by a small group of people. They had a huge reserve known to muggles as Ceahlӑu National Park. Away from the trails that hikers could take, warding spells were set in place to protect the innermost part of the area. They had snowy mountain tops and deep lush valleys. Waterfalls and dense woods. It was the perfect place to hide huge magical creatures. A couple of kilometres away from the village Durӑu started the camp for the dragon handlers. The camp often reminded Alicia of what American summer camps looked like in movies. They all had their own cabin complete with kitchen, bathroom and work desk. Alicia had decided on one a little remote from the rest. Her hut was higher up the slope of the hill. She liked to be alert and from her window she could see the entire camp.

Once inside, she left her muddy boots by the door and walked on in her drenched socks. Her pal curled himself up on the sofa while she made her way to the shower.

‘Now don’t go chewing on my furniture again!’ she threatened. There was no response from the other room. She peeled off her soaked clothes and dumped them on the floor. All she wanted now was to get under that hot water. Soon enough she had turned on the water and steam was rising in the bathroom.

‘Aaahhhhhh,’ she exclaimed happily as the water washed down her back. She looked down and noticed that apart from dirt, also blood pooled around her feet. She found a cut in her hand. She figured it had happened when she broke the bottle against the big man’s leg.

‘At least those will heal,’ she said to herself.

After a long and comforting shower she stepped out and wrapped a towel around her waist. In the corner stood a floor length mirror that was slightly fogged up now. She ran her hand over it and watched her reflection. There was a nasty bruise on her chest. It didn’t feel painful enough for a broken rib, but it could be a contusion. She decided to go to the medic cabin tomorrow first thing.

Despite the change in Alicia’s behaviour over the last year, she still added wounds and scars to her body on a regular basis. Some scars she could recall, others were wiped from her memory. Since she had visited Hogwarts she had gained many more, including a wound that had chipped off part of her ear. Her arms were the worst, followed by her legs. Her torso was relatively fair apart from one diagonal claw mark on her back running to her hip. Her neck was still fine and most of her face too, apart from the chip off her ear and the very prominent line on the right side of her face. It started just below her eye and ran down over her cheek, jawline and partially onto the neck. The cut was a lot deeper than the rest, and it didn’t heal the same. Where the others became silvery lines that were not too visible, this one remained red. Alicia traced the line down with her finger… remembering when it had been inflicted. She had been so scared it had hit her eye… that she would be partially blind…

A thump in the living room brought her back to the present. She stopped looking at the mirror and dressed in her pyjamas. The Opaleye had knocked a book off the table, but otherwise everything seemed fine. She smiled down at the creature and made sure it ended in the nest she had made for him. It was really just a pile of sheets mixed with some leaves and straw to not make him too domestic.

‘One day you will not fit in here anymore. One day you will have to sleep outside like every other big dragon,’ she told him with a pointing finger. Right at that moment lighting struck and thunder followed. The dragon snuggled into the sheets and closed his gorgeous eyes.

‘But at least that is not today. Good night Charles.’

* * *

The smell of something sweet was waking her up. Sunlight was streaming in through the window panes. Someone had opened the curtains so she would wake up with the sun.

‘What is that smell?’ she asked without opening her eyes.

‘Oh did I wake you? Sorry darling. I was making you Belgium Waffles. Do you want them in bed?’ a disembodied voice asked her.

‘Yes. But first I want you back in bed,’ Alicia said firmly. Then she chuckled and opened her eyes. Remus Lupin was in the process of climbing back in the bed. Alicia threw her hands up and around his neck to pull him close.

‘Waffles for breakfast, the most handsome man in my bed. What did I do to deserve this?’ she asked while kissing him on the nose.

‘Nothing,’ he replied.

She giggled. He gave her a hard stare. All the love was gone from his face. ‘You did nothing. You don’t deserve this.’

Startled, she sat up in bed. ‘Remus what do you…’ she looked around and saw that his feet were dipped in a red liquid. Horrified, she stepped out of the bed. The floor was covered in blood.

‘Remus!’ she cried out. He just sat there, staring at her. His pupils dilated and she could see a golden shimmer in them. He was transforming. ‘No one will help you Alicia. Because you didn’t help them.’

He pointed towards the door. Alicia walked towards it, slowly. Actually it seemed to go on forever. Then she looked around the corner and saw a body lying on the stairs. It was Harry Potter.

‘No!’ she screamed. She tried to cry but no tears would come out.

‘I know they are fake tears,’ Remus said from behind her.

‘They are not!’ she protested. Harry’s neck was lying in an impossible angle as his green eyes stared up at the ceiling. There was suddenly another staircase going up to a floor that never existed in their house, but the moment it was there it seemed normal. Two men were walking down. Sirius Black and Albus Dumbledore.

‘You could have prevented this,’ Sirius said while he looked down at Harry. ‘You could have taken his place.’

‘If only you had turned into a bird and flew over in time,’ Albus said while he laced his fingers together. Then he hummed to himself and walked down the stairs, not very careful to avoid stepping on Harry.

She turned back to look for Remus, but he was now covered in tufts of hair. His eyes were hauntingly yellow. He shot forward ready to attack her.

‘NO!’

Cold sweat was running down her forehead. She trashed around in the sheets until she was free from them. Her heart was beating in her throat and it took her a full five minutes to realise it had been a dream.

She has had dreams about Remus before. About the werewolf thing and even about Sirius. But nothing came close to this. To a dead Harry, lying on the stairs like Remus had told her James had died. Not the blood and the comments about it being her fault. This was just a bit too real and it scared her even as she was sitting safe in her own cabin.

A glance at the clock told her it was 11 A.M. Ever since she started working here she had been fond of sleeping in. There was so much hard work to do every day that she really valued all the sleep she could get. No more early riser like she was in school.

While she was making breakfast she started to calm down. After all, it _had_ just been a dream. A vivid nightmare…but it wasn’t real. Her hand was still shaking while she brought the spoon full of cereal to her mouth but with every passing minute she felt better.

Charles followed her out the door like an obedient dog. By the time Alicia smelt the pine trees she was back to herself. The aches were still bothering her but she planned to do something about that. As she walked through the camp everyone greeted her happily. There were no more inappropriate jokes, no more ‘oh miss let me help you with that, it looks heavy’. She had integrated fully and this place was her home. It really felt like a new family.

Virgil stopped her to ask whether she could help out with the new Norwegian Ridgeback that was brought in a week ago. It had been wreaking havoc in a city in Norway where the team had to obliviate a couple hundred muggles. The local ministry was still working on the obliviation, but the R.D.S. had relieved them of the dragon. The aggressive Ridgeback was currently picking fights with other dragons.

She told him she would be there soon after her medical check-up. Also she had to bring Charles to his cage. To bring a tiny dragon along with big dragons present was a problem for everyone involved.

The healer informed her that she had indeed not broken any ribs, but that the extra pressure was making it harder for her to breathe. He gave her potions and salves for all her injuries, and declared her good to go.

After Charles was locked up her long, tiresome, dangerous workday would begin. For most people it would be mental and physical torture.

For Alicia Doreen, it was paradise.


	6. The return

To stand on the edge of an inland cliff gave one an extraordinary feeling of freedom. The landscape that stretched out in front of her eyes was more stunning than a photograph could capture. Hundreds of metres below her feet rushed a river. Beyond it were more woods and fields, which turned back into mountains in the distance. The weather was much nicer today, but the storm clouds were still visible in the far East.

Alicia banged a stick against the metal bucket she was holding. She could hear a deep roar coming from the depths of the valley. It echoed against the rocks. She took a couple of steps back, pulled a heavy piece of meat from the bucket and started swinging her arm around. She waited…until the rush of air could be heard. She threw the meat with all her power into the air. For a second it looked like the meat would fall down, but then a green flash shot past and snatched the meat from the air.

Alicia looked at the brilliant green dragon with the golden horns on his head. The piece of meat was speared by the horns. The dragon flew over to a landing to Alicia’s left, where it roasted the meat with his fire before eating it. Alicia smiled at the Romanian Longhorn. These were the only dragon species that were native to these parts. Because they were so plentiful once this was the perfect place to start the Sanctuary. Lately wizards had found out that the horns, when powdered, where highly valuable potion ingredients. There were more and more poachers in the area that sliced the horns off with a severing charm and left with their price. What they didn’t know, was that without the horns the Longhorn dragons had little chance of survival. They used these horns as their main weapon. It was hard to believe that a dragon could be rendered harmless, but that really was the case. Longhorns weren’t very aggressive and preferred to be left to small groups. There was never a problem with a Longhorn attacking people.

In the end, people would always be the most dangerous creatures, Alicia decided. Even mighty hunters like these dragons could be attacked and humiliated by greedy people. With these thoughts she continued to fling pieces of meat over the edge, where every time without failure a green dragon would catch it and roast it. They were only feeding the dragons that weren’t capable of getting their own prey. Most of the dragons she was feeding today had lost one or both horns. The others were injured in other ways or were simply clever enough to know when food was flying around for free.

She heard someone approaching. She looked around to see Mihal. He didn’t look very happy.

‘Morning. What are you so glum about?’ Alicia asked while rinsing her hands.

He stopped next to her and looked out at the scenery. ‘Charlie received a letter from his mother. You should talk to him.’

Alicia raised an eyebrow. ‘Did something bad happen? Is the family okay?’

He was quiet for a long moment. ‘Alicia, why did you come here?’

‘Beg your pardon?’ she asked while standing up to meet his eye. He looked back with a stern but sad look.

‘Did you come to Romania to study dragons or to flee from England?’ he asked.

She was so flabbergasted that she stumbled over her words. ‘Why do you…no! Why would you…I did not run.’

He sighed. ‘Because I wouldn’t blame you. The situation is getting pretty dark in England. Just talk to Charlie. But I need to have asked you something before you talk to him.’

She threw up her hands. ‘Okay, what?’

He stepped closer and held her shoulders in his hands. Mihal also had a fair share of scars. One long line ran from his hairline to his eyebrow. He stared her deeply in the eyes before saying: ‘Please stay here. We need you.’

She was at a loss of words now. For a minute all she did was stare. When he started to walk away she shook herself. ‘Why would you think I’m going anywhere?’

He took the empty buckets and looked over his shoulder back at her as he replied. ‘Because if you have anyone left in England that you love, they are in mortal danger. And you strike me as the person that would throw everything in the wind to safe them.’

* * *

Baffled, Alicia walked through the woods back to the camp. She was thinking about all the things Mrs Weasley could have written in that letter. And why was it important to her? Sure, she had her ties to some of the Weasley family, but not so close that Mihal thought she would pack her bags.

She reached one of the bigger cabins that was used as a common area for eating and relaxing. Bigger meaning bigger on the inside, since wizards could make it that way. She closed the door behind her and found Charlie in a corner. He was staring at a piece of paper.

‘Mihal told me you had news,’ Alicia said as she removed her coat and sat down at his table. ‘From your mum?’

Charlie didn’t even look up. His eyes were not reading words, just staring at a fixed point. Alicia thought he was going to ignore her, but then he let out a deep unsteady breath.

‘He is back,’ is all he said.

As Alicia had no idea who this was about, she did not yet understand the gravity of those words. Charlie looked up with haunted eyes. At the sight of her clueless expression, he elaborated. ‘He Who Must Not Be Named. He is back.’

This time she understood the full meaning of those words. A chill ran down her spine. She felt her eyes prickle with tears of despair. A hand covered her mouth, unable to find the words to that proclamation.

‘How did it happen?’ she asked, eventually.

Charlie sighed and let his eyes travel over the paper once more. By the crumbled state of it, Alicia was sure he had already read the letter many times. ‘It happened at the end of the Triwizard Tournament. Harry played a part in it. Cedric Diggory died. The first person He killed in his return. I’m sure many will follow…’

It was enough to make Alicia want to set fire to the cabin. She kicked her chair back and walked around, hands stuck in her hair and an insane look on her face. ‘I knew it! I _knew it!_ Harry should never have joined that stupid competition! Dumbledore is a fool!’

Charlie chose not to respond. ‘They are re-instating the Order of the Phoenix.’

‘Of course they are,’ Alicia whispered to herself. Tears were streaming down her face now. The cabin was quiet, but not empty. A couple of guys in the back were giving her odd looks. Alicia couldn’t care less. ‘And they are asking you to join?’

Charlie stared out the window. ‘Yes. And I’m going. My family is in danger. I’m going to do everything in my power to protect them.’

Alicia was done pacing. She hugged herself as she sat down. Charlie conjured a handkerchief for her and she dabbed at her watery eyes. ‘But you are needed here too, Charlie. Can’t you work for the order from Romania?’

A muscle in his jaw moved. ‘Didn’t you hear me? My _family_ is there, very close to all the action. My parents have signed up for the Order. Ron is Harry Potter’s best friend. Bill is also joining. They are all in mortal danger. I can’t just sit here and do nothing!’

Alicia looked down. Charlie calmed down and realised he had been very emotional. ‘Hey, just because I’m choosing that doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Sorry. I shouldn’t have phrased it like that.’

Alicia looked up in his eyes. ‘You are not a soldier Charlie.’

He sighed deeply. ‘No one in the Order is. No one ever wants to be. But we have no choice.’

She got back to her feet. ‘There is always a choice.’

‘So you are not coming with me?’ Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow. ‘The letter is also for you. They are asking both of us to come back. I’m not saying what you should do, but you have family there too. Your parents live in London right? And you have people in the Order that…’ he was wise enough to stop there.

‘I will write a letter to my parents with some suggestions for hiding places. They are not my responsibility,’ she said coldly. ‘As for others, they can choose to throw their lives down the drain for Dumbledore but I won’t! I am not a fighter, I am not a part of the Order! Let them find some other pawns.’

He threw his hands up in surrender. ‘Don’t get angry with me. I only asked.’

She saw the surprise in his eyes at her outburst and felt bad right away. ‘Sorry Charlie.’

He got up from his chair and drew her in his arms. She hugged him back tightly.

‘I know you weren’t saying those words to me,’ he said softly. Alicia didn’t want to think about it. She pushed him back slightly and picked up her coat.

‘If you go, tell the Order I’m sorry I can’t help. Tell anyone that asks that I have chosen my path,’ Alicia said firmly, wiping the last of her tears away.

‘And what do I tell…well if he asks about you?’ Charlie said carefully.

She stopped with her hand on the doorhandle. ‘Tell him that some things are never forgiven and forgotten.’

* * *

June was an interesting time of year for dragon handlers. In springtime a lot of eggs hatch, and this year was no exception. There was no shortage of cute cat-sized dragons walking around and learning how to fly. A warm June turned into July, when the dragons all got a size bigger and a bit more dangerous. Charles, Alicia’s Opaleye dragon, was now roughly the size of a horse. He no longer fitted in the cabin, but curled up at her front porch. This proved to be a problem from time to time, when someone needed to speak to her. As domestic as Charles was to Alicia, he was still aggressive to others. But he never seemed to stop seeing Alicia as a mommy.

Charlie had gone more than a month ago. As much as she told others her mind wasn’t with him and the others in England, she couldn’t get that nagging voice out of her head. There was this part of her mind that kept calling her a coward for fleeing from war. But was that really a coward move, or just a clever one? She often called this voice her ‘Gryffindor side’. The idiot side that would throw everything she had built here aside to do the heroic thing and die in battle. Why did she have that voice in the first place? She had been a Ravenclaw through and through. Here in the R.D.S. she used that Ravenclaw creativity every day. She needed clever ways to keep out of harm’s way, or fix a problem or help a sick dragon.

The Ravenclaw was rational. _You made a decision a while ago. You left that house in the countryside of England to move to an exciting workplace. You made a reputation and they gave you a new name. You are good at what you do. Everyone here loves you because you are the first and only woman to be a dragon handler. You will go down in history as such._

But the Gryffindor had good points too. Those points were: Harry. Sirius. Even Remus. No matter how hard she tried, her mind was not ready to close that part of her life. She had left in such a weird moment without any form of closure, that she felt a need to talk to him. Even if it was just once more. He needed to look her in the eye and realise what he had done. Then maybe, she could close that chapter.

 _So what then?_ The Ravenclaw asked the Gryffindor. _You want to go to London, walk in on an Order meeting and demand to speak to Remus, just to get an apology? That is sad. You don’t need his approval to move on._ No she didn’t. Moving on she could do on her own. _So why do you need to speak to him? If it is not to seek closure, what are you looking for?_

It was a question she could not answer. Not here and now. It was something she would find out if she was in front of him again. She hoped.

All of this was giving her constant headaches. She tried to distract herself with more work than she had done before. She was around people most of the time, signed up for all the extra work she could, spend her nights with her friends in the bar and made sure to be as little alone as she could. She kept pushing herself to new limits too. At first she had worked mostly with Romanian Longhorns and Welsh Greens, but was now asking to work with Chinese Fireballs and Hungarian Horntails. The extra threat level was doing wonders to her brain. She knew she needed to be completely focussed on the task at hand, so there was no room for distractions.

One evening she was wandering around the village. Charles was next to her, transformed into a Tamaskan dog. Alicia was getting better at transfiguration. In her first attempts he had kept his sparkly white tail while the rest of him turned into a furry dog. But now there was no difference with a real dog, except for the eyes. For some reason she could not make them look natural. So this dog had the same brilliant multi-coloured pupil-less eyes as the dragon did. It did not seem to raise suspicion so far.

A muggle woman who had a local medical store including herbs and healing crystals – for the spiritual tourists – was standing on the front porch of her 18th century house. Alicia had seen her before and greeted her kindly.

‘By yourself again tonight?’ the woman, Maria was her name, asked.

Alicia petted Charles. ‘Not quite,’ she joked. Maria sighed. ‘That’s not what I mean. You are always surrounded by those colleagues of yours, but never with _a man.’_

Alicia knew what she was playing at, but this was the 20th century and women didn’t need men anymore. ‘Not really looking for one,’ she told Maria in earnest.

‘I know you are not looking for one. You are missing one,’ she said with her hands on her hips. Alicia was taken aback by this comment. They had not ever discussed personal details before. Well, Maria had gladly shared _her_ story, but Alicia hadn’t volunteered hers.

‘I…am not,’ Alicia said.

‘Honey, you can lie to me, but don’t lie to yourself. I know a divorced woman when I see one. Maybe you aren’t old enough to be divorced, but at least you had a love and you left it. Do you want some advice?’

Alicia sighed. ‘Guess you are going to give it anyway.’

‘Go back to him. Make amends,’ she told her. She crossed her arms over her chest like that was the final judgement.

Alicia raised her arms. ‘Maybe I don’t want to do that. Maybe I am happy here.’

‘If you truly were, you wouldn’t look so miserable when you think no one is watching,’ Maria stated. Then she turned away and disappeared inside the house.

Alicia stared down at Charles. He made a soft noise and was happy when she stroked his fur. ‘Do I look miserable Charles?’ she asked her dragon-dog. He only looked, but those eyes said more than words could. It was like staring at the stars. ‘Am I miserable? Or at least…incomplete?’

With every question she asked, she felt more and more like Maria had a point. Like Charlie had a point. Like Sirius had a point. Maybe even Remus. Maybe even he had a point. Maybe, when every pro and con was weighted out against each other, it didn’t matter what her head said was the logical option. Just like she hadn’t listened to the logical option of _not_ dating a teacher at school.

She stood up, no longer a miserable look on her face. It was time to follow her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for some reunions? ;) Be sure to come back next week!


	7. Grimmauld Place

‘ _Next stop: Leicester square.’_

It was past eleven o’clock on a Wednesday evening. The fluorescent lights of the London Underground were hard on sore eyes. The carriage was almost empty, except from a couple in the corner who looked ready to make out, a woman with a short haircut who kept giving the couple disapproving glances, a man with his kid son and Remus Lupin who was sitting across from the kid. The thing with children was, that they were never good at pretending. Like pretending he wasn’t staring at Remus’ scars.

‘Stop it,’ the father said as he shook his son’s shoulder. He didn’t attempt to make eye contact with Remus, probably too embarrassed at this point. Remus tried to ignore it.

He was very tired. His current job to work in a factory on the outskirts of the city was taking its toll on the werewolf. He was not used to hard labour day in day out. A lot of the work he did could easily be fixed with magic, but since it was a muggle factory he could not do that. Two years ago, while he had been teaching at Hogwarts, a new legislation was instated to ban werewolves from workplaces. It was not entirely prohibited, but most employers were happy with the new law. It usually took people between two and six months to figure out what he was. And with Voldemort back, he could not risk the exposure. So the muggle jobs had to do. The good news was that muggles never suspected lycanthropy as the reason of his sick days.

He strolled through the park across Grimmauld Place and looked up at the third quarter moon. His first full moon at the factory job had been a week ago and they hadn’t thought it suspicious. But that was rarely the case with the first time. It was the third or the forth when they jokingly asked him if he was having period cramps. Then the fifth or sixth when they told him it was too inconvenient and they would look for someone else. He expected this job to go the same.

He stepped into the narrow entrance hall of the Black family home and took off his coat. The muscles in his arms ached and he longed for some tea and a good meal. However knowing who was the cook, it would be an edible meal at best.

‘Hello Moony!’ sang a cheerful voice from the kitchen. ‘Dinner is almost ready.’

Remus sat down at the head of the long dining table. ‘Did you burn anything this time?’

‘Not yet,’ came the reply. He could not yet see the man in the kitchen, but was sure he wore that terrible old apron with the flower pattern on it. He had found it stuffed away in a cupboard and now he wore it every time he was making dinner. It suited his otherwise dark wardrobe in an unique way.

‘Also please tell me you stopped using Asphodel roots in the food. It has a terrible taste,’ Remus complained, remembering the bitter, earthly taste. It really was like chewing soil.

Finally the other inhabitant of Grimmauld Place 12 emerged from the kitchen. He was indeed wearing the floral apron over a black button-up shirt and black trousers. His shoulder-length hair was partially tied back in a bun, to keep his hair from falling in the food. As had happened before.

‘But the cupboards are stuffed with that stuff! I should use it for something,’ Sirius Black told him as he placed a cauldron on the table. ‘Ta daa! I made vegetable stew!’

Remus let his face drop in his hands. ‘Is it like the vegetable soup you made last week?’

Sirius didn’t seem phased. He picked up Remus his bowl and scooped the stew in. ‘No. At your request I no longer use bursting mushrooms. You are right; exploding boiling soup was not one of my better ideas.’

Remus couldn’t help but laugh. He remembered Sirius his shocked expression after a spoonful of soup had exploded in his face, turning his skin red with burns. They had healed that nicely though.

As the stew was placed in front of him, Remus gave him the benefit of the doubt. He ate a spoonful and was surprised at how decent it was. Nothing tasted like earth or was exploding.

‘You are getting better at this Padfoot,’ he praised him. He was very hungry and happily ate the whole bowl. Then he took a second serving.

‘You have too little faith in me old friend. I know what is best for you. Today, that is a good substantial meal with lots of vegetables. Anyway, how was your day?’ Sirius asked.

‘It was alright, but my back is hurting more and more. I’m not build for the physical labour. Let’s hope I get fired next month,’ Remus complained. There was something so mundane about their conversation over dinner that one could forget they were at the starting point of a war.

‘Urgh, stop pretending you’re old. Your back would be better if you sat straight more often. You are thirty-five for Merlin’s sake, not fifty! You need to dress younger and act younger. If you ever want to borrow some of my stylish clothes you can. Just browse in that wardrobe. Or maybe Regulus was more your style.’

Remus shook his head. ‘No thank you. Darker-than-my-soul-black is not my colour.’

‘You cannot keep wearing beige forever Lupin!’

He grinned at Sirius. The conversation was reminding him of one they had many years ago while they were students at Hogwarts. Sirius had offered so many times to buy him new clothes that Remus took satisfaction in wearing older and baggier clothes just to piss him off. Somehow, that had stuck with him over the years without even realising it.

‘Maybe you are right. I will try something else. But not black. Give me something a bit more colourful,’ he said eventually. Sirius looked happy. He knew that one of these days the depressing house was going to affect Sirius his mood. In the meantime Remus did everything to keep him occupied in the house. Cooking, expelling pests from the attic, taking care of Buckbeak who was also living under their roof and now he could find Remus some new clothes.

‘Any news arrive today?’ Remus asked him nonchalantly as he emptied his second bowl of stew.

Sirius leaned on one hand. ‘Are you asking whether the Order has news or whether anyone has heard from _her?’_

Remus shot him a look. ‘The Order. And…well, any news you have heard.’

Sirius gave him a smug look. ‘Still bitter I got to see her and you didn’t?’

‘Padfoot,’ Remus warned.

‘Fine. Yes, Dumbledore wants another meeting this Friday. He asked if I could cook for everyone,’ Sirius answered at last.

Remus already knew that wasn’t going to be necessary. Usually when the meeting was taking place at Grimmauld Place, Molly Weasley would bustle in with bags full of groceries and she would start making a way better dinner than Sirius could. Remus was already looking forward to it.

‘Do you know what it’s about?’ Remus asked.

Sirius had enchanted the cauldron to fly back to the kitchen where it rinsed itself. The bowls followed. ‘Maybe some news from Moody. Or maybe it’s about including Harry.’

Remus felt a familiar guilty feeling when Harry was mentioned. They had sent Harry back to his abusive aunt and uncle without any intel on the Order or what was going on in the Wizarding World. Remus wished he could take the boy here, so that Sirius and him could look after him. But as per usual, Dumbledore wouldn’t let them.

He rubbed absent-minded at his stubble. He hadn’t been taking good care of his appearance since he had been on his own again. When Alicia was in his house she had fuzzed over his facial hair, state of his nails and his non-existent fashion sense. But since she was gone, he had gone right back to neglect. What was the point? No one cared in the factory and the people in the Order didn’t seem to care. Only Sirius cared, but Remus just couldn’t convince himself he was worth the trouble. Even when Sirius kept his beard and hair perfectly trimmed, even though no one saw him for weeks. He was still a wanted criminal after all.

‘I am though,’ Remus said in the end, staring at nothing.

Sirius looked up, puzzled. ‘Am what?’

‘Jealous of you. For seeing her again and talking and laughing with her. I never thought…’ he stopped himself before he would get too emotional.

Sirius sighed. ‘Mate, I hate to be that person, but I think it is best you let it go. I must admit; when Charlie Weasley showed up I thought she would follow. I saw your expression and knew you were thinking it too. But you heard what he said: she is not coming. I guess she was just still too angry. Or she doesn’t care anymore. Either way, I don’t think she is coming back.’

‘Yes but it sounded like something else was bothering her. Charlie said to tell me that some things are not forgotten and forgiven. Did she mean our fight? Or something more specific…’ Remus was at this point talking more to himself than to his friend. Therefore he missed the guilty look Sirius had on his face.

Sirius leaned forward. ‘Remus,’ he said while he rested a hand on his arm, ‘let her go.’

Remus closed his eyes. Like he hadn’t tried! Like he hadn’t thought there would be a way for him to move on. He wasn’t naïve enough to think he could find another woman that didn’t care about his sickness, but at least he had hoped that the missions of the Order would distract him enough to slowly forget her.

But he hadn’t been able to forget her, because he still thought she would walk in this room one day during a meeting. He had been holding on to that feeling since the beginning of the re-instatement of the Order. However, Sirius was right. When her colleague Charlie walked in, that should have been the right moment. But she hadn’t shown up.

She wasn’t coming back. He needed to let her go.

* * *

That Friday around seven o’clock people started arriving at Grimmauld Place. Remus was standing next to the fireplace to welcome them. Sirius, looking more dashing than ever in his velvet suit, stood next to him. Remus tugged on the collar of the button-up Sirius had given him.

‘Stop fumbling,’ Sirius said as he swatted Remus’ hand away. ‘You look good. Don’t ruin my good work.’

Remus almost groaned. Sirius had been just a bit too happy with the opportunity to dress Remus. He was now dressed in a baby blue button-up shirt with an embroidered waistcoat over it. He had dark trousers that for once were the right length for his long awkward legs. Underneath he had nice dress shoes. To top the outfit Sirius had given him a nice brown cape with sleeves. When Remus had looked in the mirror earlier, he had to admit it looked good. Sirius knew enough about wizard fashion to dress him nicely for once.

Multiple Order members had noticed and complimented him on his good looks. Last to do so was Nymphadora Tonks, daughter of Andromeda. The girl walked in with her hair the same lime green colour as the flames that had been around her. She eyed Remus up and down for a long moment before telling him he looked dashing. Remus had blushed furiously.

Sirius elbowed him. ‘Got your eye on another young one?’

The unamused look he got in return shut Sirius up.

There were many familiar faces, like Molly and Arthur, Alastor Moody and Kingsley Shacklebolt. When Bill and Charlie Weasley arrived Charlie gave Remus a guarded look. Remus suspected Charlie knew a fair share about his past. There were also new members, who were slightly stunned to see Sirius Black welcoming them with a big grin on his face. Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape were last to enter.

‘Ah! Sirius, Remus, good to see you again. Remus you look quite colourful today. Any special occasion?’ Dumbledore asked with a wink.

Remus knew the Headmaster of Hogwarts long enough now to withstand a joke. ‘Nothing other than giving Sirius something to do to pass the time.’

Severus sneered as he looked at Sirius. Even in times like these where they were on the same side, they would never get along. Remus had given up that hope after their adventure last year. To be honest, he wasn’t too happy about Severus spreading the word about his condition to the school, but he was peaceful enough to forgive and move on. Sirius never would, neither would Severus.

‘Black…Lupin,’ Snape said simply. It were enough words to convey his distaste of seeing them again.

‘Snivellus,’ Sirius replied so quickly it had sounded like Severus. But Remus, who stood next to him and knew him longer than today, knew what he had said. Snape sneered again and strode past them to find a seat. Sirius and Remus walked around the table to get their seats in the back. Dumbledore would remain at the head from where he would hold the meeting of the Order of the Phoenix.

The meeting started. As he had done in the meetings before, Dumbledore thanked all of them for their devotion and introduced the new members. ‘Now, I would like to address some incidents that have happened. Firstly…,’

There was a loud and clear knock on the front door. Dumbledore had stopped and was looking at the door leading to the narrow hall. Moody was sitting closest to the door – probably by choice.

‘I’ll get it,’ he grumbled as he got up.

‘Are we missing anyone?’ Sirius asked the table.

‘Should we expect an attack Albus?’ Someone at the other end of the table asked nervously.

‘I hardly think an attacker would knock,’ Dumbledore said wisely.

From Remus’ place at the table, he could not see into the hall. He waited a couple of minutes with the rest of the room until they saw Moody appear again.

‘We are going to need one more chair,’ he said as he conjured one.

Remus didn’t know why his heartbeat was so loud. Why was he nervous? There was no way that this was…

And then she walked in. Alicia Doreen.

‘Hello everyone. Sorry I’m late,’ she said with a soft voice. She sounded nervous.

Remus was not paying attention to what she was saying. He didn’t even notice the dog that followed her inside. He also did not look up to see Sirius giving him an astounded look. He was looking at her face. The skin on her hands and lower arms was covered in scars, probably inflicted by dragons. But that one obvious red line that ran over her cheek and jaw…

He knew instantly he had given that to her.

His breathing was shallow and his vision was swimming as tears formed in his eyes. He hadn’t seen her in a little over a year and she looked so different, yet so familiar. The scars were new, as were the multiple braids in her hair, the leather clothing and the dark look in her eyes. But when you stripped it down, it was still her. That nervous smile, those big green-grey eyes and those couple of freckles that were hard to notice until you knew they were there.

There was a long awkward moment of silence in the room. Many didn’t know her, but those that did were shocked to see her. Charlie was the first to act. He got up, walked over to her and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back and Remus didn’t like how well their bodies fitted together in that embrace. They had known each other for a while now. Charlie had known her for a longer time than he did…

He wished beyond anything that he could hug her too, but he was too afraid. As far as he knew, she was still angry. He couldn’t handle her rejection in front of all these people. So he sat still as a statue and just watched her.

‘Change of heart?’ Charlie asked with a big smile. He had let her go and was getting back to his seat. Alicia huffed. ‘Yeah don’t taunt me too much, or I’ll be out that door faster than I came in.’

Remus didn’t want that. He felt a hand on his arm and looked at Sirius. He hadn’t realised that he had been leaning further and further forward in his seat, wishing he could jump over the table and get closer to her. Sirius was giving him a look as if to say _down boy_.

‘For those of you that don’t know, this is Alicia Doreen. Former Ravenclaw and current dragon handler in the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary. Alicia, it is good to see you again,’ Dumbledore said.

Alicia looked mischievous. ‘You own me a chocolate frog for that.’

Dumbledore smiled. ‘Now that we are truly complete, I will continue the business at hand.’

Remus didn’t hear a single thing that was discussed. He was too lost in thought. What would he say when he finally got the chance? A simple ‘hi!’ would not suffice. _Hi Alicia. Nice scar you’ve got there. I forgot I had scratched you but it fits your other scars nicely!_ She hadn’t even looked at him yet. Why wouldn’t she just look at him?

As she was sitting in the middle and Dumbledore was at the other end, there was no reason for her to look his way now. He had to be satisfied with staring at the back of her head. And he was. Even something small as being able to see her again was giving him feelings of joy he hadn’t felt since their arguments started.

But that would be over now, right? She was here after all.

Somewhere towards the end of the meeting Dumbledore asked Sirius a question and most faces turned. Alicia looked too, but was very careful to keep her eyes on Sirius only. He could see a muscle move in her jaw. She was straining not to look at him. It seemed so silly, but he was envious of Sirius in that moment.

The questions were asked, the business was concluded. Arthur asked if they could move into Grimmauld Place for the rest of the time until school started again. Sirius was more than happy to welcome the company.

‘Finally some movement in this big old house! You agree right, Moony?’ Sirius said with a poke to his ribs. Remus blushed and looked at Arthur, forcing his eyes away from the woman he lost. ‘More than welcome. We prefer to have company.’

Everything was rounded up and as Molly darted into the kitchen to start dinner, everyone got up to chat with each other. Before he knew it the place was crowded and there was no way for him to pass through. He could see Arthur going up to her to meet her, but then she was gone.

Someone was tugging on his cape until he was in a corner. His only view now was Sirius.

‘Mate, I understand this situation is…unique. But please stop drooling,’ he said with a shake of his head. Remus checked for actual drool but realised he was talking metaphorically.

‘I just…did you see…hold on,’ he suddenly realised something. ‘You have seen her. You have seen that _scar._ And you didn’t tell me!’

Sirius shrugged. ‘I thought you knew. Don’t you remember hurt…uhhh…scratching her?’

Remus sighed deeply. ‘I remember our last argument. I remember being very angry and it was the day of the full moon. I suppose I lashed out and had sharper nails than I imagined. But she had turned and fled so quickly…Padfoot…look what I did to her.’

‘Yeah, she looks roughened up.’

He pushed his friend. ‘This is no joke! I…I broke her! Marked her! Damaged her!’

Sirius laughed at that. ‘Mate, that girl is stronger than ever. You did not break her. Don’t be selfish enough to think she ran away because you are a wolf. She ran away because she disagreed with you.’

A silence stretched. ‘I know. What do I say?’

Another shrug. ‘Whatever comes to mind! But please be careful. You are walking a wire here. It is very easy to tip over. Good luck!’ he clapped him on the back and was gone. Sirius was aching to talk to other people than him.

The Order members started to leave. The room was getting less crowded and it was easier to walk around. Alicia was standing near the fireplace, chatting with Charlie and Bill. She was smiling as she told them some sort of story. Remus did finally notice the dog that was sitting near her feet. The creature greatly resembled a wolf and it gave him a dash of hope.

He cleared his throat. Charlie and Bill turned around. Bill didn’t understand but Charlie did. He grabbed his brother by the arm and cleared out. Then the moment he had been waiting for finally arrived. The dog was looking up at him with watchful eyes. In his current messy mental state he didn’t even notice that it had no pupils.

He was only looking at her and finally, she looked back. She couldn’t avoid him any longer. The moment was there. _Just say what feels natural._

‘Hi,’ he said in a whisper. He hadn’t meant to whisper. ‘I…It’s good to see you again.’

She was looking at him now, but it was a deep stare. Her mouth was a thin line and her features were mostly blank. The only faint emotion he could see…was suppressed anger.

She opened her mouth and said the last thing he wanted to hear.

‘I did not come back for you.’

Was that actual glass shattering somewhere behind him or was that his heart, breaking once more?

For a moment all he could do was stare. He understood now what Sirius was trying to tell him. He was looking at her like a lost puppy. ‘Alicia-,’

‘I came back to reconnect with my parents, to help out in the war and to protect Harry and his friends. As far as I’m concerned, we left our…relationship on the doorstep of your house when I left,’ she seemed to be saying these things robotically, like she had written them down and was reciting them. ‘And I am not here to open old wounds.’

This, of course, hurt him deeply. ‘I didn’t know about the scar,’ he said timidly.

She held up a hand. Was she even listening to anything he said? ‘We are done discussing the past.’

Finally, he felt some anger rise in him. ‘No, no we aren’t. Tell me, why exactly are we fighting? Our argument in the first place was about joining the Order or not. You didn’t want to fight, but now you are here. How is this argument not over?’

Her face turned quite red. ‘Oh I see. So you won, right? You were right aaaall along Mister Gryffindor! Mister “let’s die for our country”!’ the chatter in the room fell quiet. ‘No Remus, I did not come back for glory! I came here because I didn’t feel like there was another choice! The seed of which feeling _you_ planted when you called me a coward for running away!’

He was quite ready to tell her she was wrong, but suddenly someone was standing between them.

‘I think it’s time you two cool down before you say things you can’t take back. Again,’ Sirius said as he held his arms out. He was facing Alicia and slowly pushing her backwards. ‘Alicia, let’s get some space, alright? Let’s go upstairs and-,’

She whistled to her dog and he stood up to follow her. ‘Coming here was a mistake,’ she spat at Sirius while she pushed past him towards the exit. No one stopped her, and they all heard the door slam.

A deadly silence fell over the remaining people. Arthur tried to get the conversation going again but most people were staring at Remus. He had his hands clenched at his sides and was shaking furiously.

‘Does she even hear herself?’ he spoke through gritted teeth. Only Sirius was close enough to hear it.

‘Let’s get you upstairs. Molly, would you mind sending Kreacher up with our food? I think we’ll be eating alone,’ Sirius offered. Molly nodded and continued setting the table.

‘Come on mate,’ Sirius said quietly. But Remus couldn’t do this to him. Sirius had been looking forward to seeing and talking to other people. ‘No,’ he said, ‘You stay here. I want to be alone now.’

‘Moony…’

‘It’s fine, Padfoot. Just enjoy yourself. We have enough time to talk.’

Half the room gave him a look of pity. He hated it and made his way up the stairs. He dove in his bed and locked the door.

How ironic. All this time he had wanted her to come back, and now he was already happy she had left. Sirius was right. If he had allowed him to speak, Remus would have said things that would have tipped him off the wire. Maybe he would have snapped the wire.

He had a couple of things to wrap his head around. One, Alicia was not the same girl as she had been when they were together at school. Two, if she really wanted to join the Order he had to face her and make sure they would at least be on neutral terms again. Three…

_I did not come back for you._


	8. Mistakes were made

A heavy rain was pouring down outside the windows. Sounds drifted up from the street behind the Leaky Cauldron, where Alicia was staying for the night. The clock on the wall said it was past 3 a.m. Alicia was sitting up in bed with her knees drawn close to her chest. She was staring out at the rain with a vacant expression on her face.

As quiet as she appeared on the outside, her head was quite busy and loud. She was replaying the memories of everything that had happened in a short amount of time. First there was the astonishment of the house appearing in front of her eyes. She had thought about the address on the note, and suddenly the houses around number 12 pushed apart to allow a whole new house in the middle. Then there was the grumpy looking wizard with the twisting eye who had asked her who she was. She had shown him the paper that Dumbledore had given her the year before. He had allowed her to pass. It was another shock to see the kind of house they had chosen. It was dark, mouldy and seemed to have belonged to some pure-blooded fanatics. Then the door opened and she was met by a group of thirty faces.

She sighed at the memory. All she had to do was look vaguely in both directions to spot the person she did not want to make eye contact with. He was sitting at the far end which made that easier. She had focused on Dumbledore mostly, but her eyes had wandered. Apart from the few people in the room who knew about her and Remus – Sirius, Charlie and possibly Dumbledore – she was also very awkward whenever Severus Snape looked at her. She recalled the last encounter they had, and hoped furiously that her memory charm had not worn off. She had stormed into his office at the end of her last schoolyear and assaulted him verbally and physically. The latter only after he had attacked her, of course. He had looked only mildly interested in her, so she supposed she was safe.

The matters of the Order weren’t a big surprise. They were sending people to shadow known Death Eaters, trying to spread the word and recruit new members and they were on guarding duty. Alicia had almost nudged Charlie to ask what they were guarding when someone mentioned having to stay outside Privet Drive. Harry. That is what they were guarding.

So far she hadn’t been asked for specific tasks. Dumbledore mentioned to her and the other new members that they could observe first and see what tasks were best for them later. As Alicia couldn’t really fit in the ministry and shadow people she was wondering what she could do. Guarding Harry seemed like the best option, but it would be hard not to talk to him.

When the meeting was over, Arthur Weasley and his wife came over to introduce themselves. ‘We heard loads about you!’ they had said enthusiastically. Alicia had hoped they were talking about Charlie. Her colleague had shown up at that point and had introduced his brother Bill. She had joked about how she had finally completed the set, having met and spoken to all the Weasleys at that point.

That was of course when the inevitable happened. She hadn’t been naïve enough to think she could go to the Order and not talk to Remus.

 _‘I did not come back for you,’_ she had said. It was a lie, but a convincing one. Remus had looked devastated. Sitting here alone in the dark made her wonder if she _really_ wanted to hurt him that much. Yes, she was still angry. Yes, she needed a real apology from him. But she had also already determined that that was not the reason she came back. There was something she needed, but she didn’t know what.

His yelling at her hadn’t helped, and before she knew it she had fled again. She sighed deeply and made up her mind. Tomorrow she would go back to the house and figure things out. And she had to try not to start yelling again.

* * *

In broad daylight the house didn’t look as scary. The house appeared as it had yesterday, when she was thinking hard enough about number 12. She knocked on the door and had to wait a long time. It was Molly who opened the door.

‘Hello again dear,’ she said. ‘Would you like to come in?’

Alicia gaped at her. ‘I…I didn’t realise you were staying here.’ She stepped inside anyway.

‘With all this Order business going around it was easier for us to stay in here. And Sirius hasn’t done a great job of making this place inhabitable. There are aggressive infestations in all the rooms. Now, please keep your voice down in the hallway. Otherwise the portraits start screaming. Have you had breakfast yet?’

A bit overwhelmed with all this information, Alicia stayed silent and followed her back to the dining room. Alicia took a deep breath and prepared to see Remus again.

What she was not prepared for, was to see way more people in the room than she had expected. It was really stupid of her, but if Molly was here it meant they _all_ were here. Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Fred, George, Ron and Ginny. Only Percy was missing. Also included in present company was Hermione. And of course, standing near the kitchen were Sirius and Remus. Her face turned scarlet.

‘Back again?’ Charlie asked without much interest. He was doing a card game with Ron and Ginny. Ron blushed as he saw her. ‘Hey Nessie! Good to see you again.’

She waved awkwardly. ‘I uhh…wanted to…make amends.’

The floor. That was a very safe place to look. Everywhere else was dangerous.

‘Breakfast is ready in a minute! Fred, George, please set the table,’ Molly said.

The twins stood up and both gave her a meaningful look. Yep. She had forgotten about that. She had forgotten she had kissed _both_ of the twins at the same party. And seeing how they were looking at her, there was a big chance they still didn’t know about each other.

As the twins had enchanted the plates to float through the house – they were very proud to be seventeen and capable of using magic outside of school – everyone shuffled around to get seats. In a sign of good faith, she placed herself across from Remus. As everyone was busy talking and getting food on the table, she had a moment.

‘Can we talk? After breakfast.’

He raised one eyebrow. ‘Are you going to shout at me again?’

She tried not to get irritated. ‘That is not the plan. But I won’t make promises.’

‘I thought you had said everything you wanted to say yesterday,’ he said, now not even looking at her anymore.

She shrunk in her seat. ‘I said some things I regret,’ she said so softly it was nearly a whisper. But his sensitive ears picked it up anyway.

He nodded and then the conversation was over. Sirius sat at the head of the table, with Remus on his left and Alicia on his right. Hermione was placed next to Alicia. The younger witch seemed as uncomfortable as Alicia was feeling. _Right….I was stupid enough to tell her the truth._ On that unfaithful day when the classes had been over, Alicia had spilled her big secret to Hermione. She remembered her shocked expression very well…

When everyone sat down she realised this extremely awkward situation was entirely her fault.

‘So Alicia. Where did you stay for the night?’ Bill opened. He didn’t seem to notice how badly she wanted to fall through the floor. Now all the eyes were on her again!

‘Leaky Cauldron,’ she replied quickly.

‘Hmm, I suppose a good option. But not really necessary. There are more than enough rooms in this house,’ he said as he buttered his toast.

She was about to object, when Sirius cut her off. ‘More than enough rooms indeed. Although you could always share.’ He looked at her and winked.

She kicked him under the table. ‘No thank you. I’ll find a place.’

‘Staying here might not be a good option,’ Charlie piped in. Alicia was about to thank him when he added: ‘I still can’t believe you brought _him.’_

He was pointing at the corner of the room, where Charles was curled up. ‘Believe me, he is a sight for sore eyes but it is not very practical.’

Now everyone was wondering what the problem was with her dog. ‘She can have a dog in here if she wants to,’ Molly said, wondering what the problem was.

Charles seemed to notice that the conversation was about him, so he walked over to the table. He sniffed Sirius who growled back at him.

‘Down Charles,’ Alicia said as she pulled him away.

She could hear a palm slap against a face. Then Fred said: ‘You named him Charles?!’

She nodded and couldn’t help but smile. ‘Outstanding move!’ George added.

Charlie groaned. ‘Why did you take him with you?’

Charles was trying to get to Sirius again. Now he seemed okay to let him sniff him. ‘What is wrong with his eyes?’

‘He doesn’t smell like a dog,’ Remus said unexpectedly. The rest gave him an odd look.

‘Well technically…’ Alicia started. She looked up at Charlie who was shaking his head. She assumed his mother wouldn’t like to have a dragon in her house. ‘…Charles is a cat. But someone transfigured him in a dog and couldn’t turn it back. He seems content now. And you know how attached he is to me. If I left him behind he would be destroying…uhhh…all the furniture.’

Charlie grinned and shook his head. ‘Fine. Just take good care of him.’

She shrugged. ‘I always do. I’m great with dogs.’ She poked Sirius, who couldn’t help but giggle.

There was a short interval where the conversation was not about her or her pet. But it was foolish to think that would last long.

‘What I don’t understand,’ Sirius said at a certain point, ‘is that you were in a place surrounded by men for a year and all you bring back is a dog. Didn’t you have a chance at romance in the last year? Kissed any boys?’

She nearly choked on her eggs. In that moment she _also_ remembered telling Sirius about Fred and George. She really needed to learn how to shut up!

‘Please stop,’ she growled at Sirius while trying to regain her breath.

Remus looked uncomfortable but decided to stare down at his eggs. Hermione however, became twitchy.

‘I bet men in Romania are just ugly and dull, right Nessie?’ Fred said with a smirk. ‘Like our brother here.’

‘Leave me out of it,’ Charlie said quickly.

‘Leave me out of it too, please,’ Alicia pleaded.

‘I bet you prefer British men,’ Fred continued.

‘Maybe even gingers,’ George added. They were not looking at each other and she wondered how it was possible that they never had this conversation.

‘That’s probably just a phase,’ Sirius added. ‘This wild girl needs something more exciting.’

‘Maybe Fata Lup would have suited you better,’ Charlie said. Alicia felt betrayed. By all of them. Charlie knew too much, Hermione knew too much, Fred and George knew too little and Sirius…damn that son of a bitch.

‘One more word out of either of you about me and this fork is going to hit an eyeball,’ she warned Charlie and Sirius.

They were silent for a moment but the giggling went on. Charlie made eye contact with Sirius and said quietly: ‘It is fun to know things you can annoy her with, right.’

Sirius shook his head dramatically. ‘Charles, you don’t know the half of it. Literally. Auch!’

Instead on an eyeball she had stabbed him in the leg under the table. ‘Quiet Padfoot. Or I’ll release the dog on you.’

‘I am not scared of…’ Sirius saw Charlie shake his head with a look of terror in his eyes. ‘Fine.’

Charles barked and Alicia petted his head. ‘You are my only friend here.’

That was the moment Hermione snapped. She pushed her chair back and looked at Alicia. ‘None of this is normal! Why is everyone making jokes! You have a pet dog that looks like a _wolf!_ I can’t…’ she stopped her rant and went upstairs.

Remus looked uncomfortable now. ‘Did she…’ Alicia looked at him and blushed. She nodded. Remus facepalmed too. Then he wiped his lips with a napkin and stood up. ‘Third floor, second door on the left,’ he said without looking at anyone. He brought his plate to the kitchen. ‘Molly it was lovely, thank you.’ Then he went upstairs too.

‘What an unusual conversation this morning,’ Arthur piped in. He was oblivious to everything that was going on. And she was glad. Surely Arthur and Molly wouldn’t like hearing she had kissed two of their sons, and had been in a relationship with a man almost twice her age.

She ate the rest of her food quickly and excused herself. She found her way to the stairs where the house continued growing dark and glum. It didn’t really help to improve her mood. She reached the third floor and knocked on the door.

‘It’s open.’

She pushed the door open. The room was larger than she had imagined. It looked lighter and cleaner than the rest of the house. They had probably started cleaning the rooms they were living in before moving on to the rest. On the left was a fireplace, with on either side ceiling-high bookcases. There was also a desk, already littered with papers. On the right was a double bed with a stylized canopy. She understood why he chose this room.

On the far end were French doors leading to a tiny balcony. Remus was leaning there in the opening. The entire scenery seemed so romanticized to her. The grand room, the sunlight falling on his features…for a moment she forgot they were fighting. She wanted to run up to him and hug him, kiss him…

He looked at her. ‘Talking is easier if I don’t have to shout,’ he said from across the room. Alicia shook her head of her stupid fantasy and walked over to him.

‘Remus, will you allow me to explain myself?’ she started.

He was staring outside again and shrugged. She took a deep breath. ‘I went too far yesterday. I didn’t mean to start a fight. I just felt cornered and wanted to say what was on my mind. But I should have done that differently.’

‘Did you come back here for me or not?’ he asked, still not looking. He was exposing himself. She had shattered him yesterday, and now he was bracing himself for a second, final time.

‘I did come back for you,’ she whispered. ‘It was a cruel thing to say I didn’t…and a lie. Of course…,’ she needed to compose herself for a moment, ‘Of course I am here because of you.’

He smiled, but it was wicked and pained. ‘Then what did you want from me? I tried to apologize. You weren’t interested in that.’

Without thinking, she touched the scar on her cheek. ‘This has fuelled my anger all this time. Every time I started to wonder why I had left you, I looked in the mirror. In my mind it was you saying ‘stay away from me’.’

Now he did look at her, and he was mad again. ‘Is that what you see? A warning signal? I thought that you had accepted the wolf in me. Or so you let me believe. But in the end, you were just scared. Like everybody else…’

She groaned. ‘That is not what I mean! In case you forgot, I didn’t get this scar from the wolf! I got it from you! You lashed out at me! You can’t blame that on the wolf!’

The heat was rising between them. ‘So you see me as an abusive ex-boyfriend? You were shouting things at me that hit me harder than a punch would have! You accused me of being suicidal! Even though you knew I’ve had my dark periods! Do you have any idea what an impact that had on me? When you left I was considering it again!’

This shocked her deeply. _Have I really said that? Was I really that awful?_ She knew she had been. _Fuck._ ‘I regret saying that. I didn’t mean it in that context. It’s about the Order and working for the greater good and all that.’

He crossed his arms and twisted his torso away from her. ‘That is not how it felt to me.’

For a moment she saw a scenario play out in her head. As she was working in Romania, a letter would arrive from Sirius. The parchment would be blotched with tears. The words were angry and sad as he had to tell her Moony was gone. And that it was her fault.

She stared at the ground, feeling the anger leave her body. She hoped this was helping him too to get rid of those feelings he hadn’t shared in over a year.

And still. Still he was happy to see her yesterday. Despite what she had said. Her eyes were watering.

‘Did you hate me for leaving?’ she asked in the end. Neither of them was looking at the other. It was too much.

There was a long silence, then a stretched sigh. ‘I never hated you.’ He shifted on his legs. ‘Look, maybe we made a mistake. It is hard to lay the blame on you. You are still young-‘

‘I was,’ she said so quickly he had to look up. ‘I was too young and inexperienced in life when we were moving in together. I was scared. Scared to grow up, scared of a war, scared I wouldn’t be good enough for you. It was too soon. But I’ve lived life better now. I’ve seen many forms of danger and excitement and joy and friendship. I am more adult now than I was when I left you. I…don’t have any new experience with relationships however. But you have to understand. I am not the same girl anymore. I have developed, changed and grown.’

He chuckled very softly. ‘I can believe that.’

They made eye contact, and for once it wasn’t awkward or hostile. There was understanding there in his eyes. They were starting to acknowledge their issues and moving past them. _Is this what I was looking for? For an end to my anger? Or it is more?_

Lost in thought, she was startled to feel his fingertips on her cheek. She flinched and looked at him. He was looking at the scar. His fingers were tracing the line. The soft touch on her skin made her all warm inside. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to be caressed. She closed her eyes and breathed unsteadily though her mouth.

‘I am really sorry for doing this to you. I’ve never been so careless before. Can you at least forgive me for giving you that scar?’ he asked quietly.

She opened her eyes. ‘I can.’ A big weight lifted off her shoulders.

He seemed relieved too. ‘Good. It’s a start. We can work on the rest later.’ He started moving around the room, gathering stuff in a shoulder bag. Alicia noticed he was dressed nicely again, just like yesterday. He seemed to put more effort in his appearance.

‘Since when do you have a fashion sense by the way?’ she joked lightly.

He chuckled. ‘Sirius needed new hobbies. It won’t be long now before he goes all moody. This house is taking its toll.’

She nodded absently, then noticed he was preparing to leave. ‘Where are you going?’

He looked up. ‘My job,’ he said like it was obvious.

‘But…we aren’t done talking,’ she protested.

‘By all means, talk. You have about five minutes before I need to leave. Muggle job means muggle transport. I can’t just apparate every day. My new colleagues will notice.’

She placed her hands on her hips. ‘Okay wow. We are back to being rude now. Yeah sure, let’s handle all of our problems in five minutes because someone needs to catch a bus.’

He sighed. ‘Well, I need to keep this job. It’s important to me.’

This hit a wrong note with her. ‘Sure. I give up my job and family in Romania but your job that won’t last long is super important.’

‘Can you stop getting angry with me for five damn minutes?’ Remus asked while rubbing a temple.

‘I’ll do you one better. You won’t have to listen to my nagging for the rest of the day, or maybe week. Who knows when I come back? It is hard to stand your face,’ she continued raging.

‘Urggh! Stop running away from every confrontation!’

‘You are the one that is running away!’

‘You are totally infuriating!’

‘So are you!’

There was about three seconds of silence between them. Then Remus took the last step to close the distance between them, grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her so fast and fiercely that she was rendered unable to act. Both their faces were red from the shouting, and they were both panting while the kiss lasted. Alicia’s lips felt familiar against his. A wave of nostalgia hit her. For a moment she could close her eyes and imagine being back at Hogwarts. Before they had fallen apart…

He let go of her. They were both looking speechless and perplexed. Then he turned around and left.

_What now?_


	9. communication is the key

Alicia had decided to stick around. There were still lots of things to discuss and lots of people to catch up with. Maybe she could find a private moment with both Fred and George and talk things out. She wanted everyone to feel comfortable around her, and currently that was not the case.

But first she wanted to get to know her surroundings. She wandered all the way to the top floor. As she walked on the squeaky floorboards she heard strange noises from the door on her left. It was hard to make out what made the noise. It was either an animal screeching or a person with a very bad cough.

She opened the door and remembered where she had heard the sound before. Inside the room all the furniture was removed. In the middle stood the majestic Buckbeak. Next to him, the almost just as majestic Sirius Black.

‘I…heard strange noises,’ she said in a way of explaining why she had rushed in the room without knocking.

‘Does it often work out for you to barge into rooms where you heard strange noises?’ Sirius asked sarcastically. He had just placed a bucket of meat on front of Buckbeak and was now brushing the hairs on the horse-part of the creature.

‘Point taken,’ Alicia said. Buckbeak eyed her and she bowed elegantly. He went back to eating.

Sirius cleared his throat. ‘Alicia, I wanted to apologize. My behaviour at the table was childish.’

Alicia found a decent spot on the floor and sat down with her back against the wall and her legs stretched out in front of her. ‘Very childish. But what could I expect.’

He grinned. ‘You have to understand, your uncomfortable situation has been my biggest source of entertainment for months. I hate this bloody house. I hate the rooms, the portrait of my mother, the smell...everything. For a moment there I was trying to forget where I was and distracted myself with your life. Even though it pained you. For that, I am sorry.’

Alicia chuckled. ‘Oh don’t think I hold a grudge for that. Let’s be honest; I worked myself in that situation. When I saw Molly at the door I should have realised _all_ the Weasleys were present. Well, except for Percy. Not that I mind. That prick was in my year. He loved telling people they were wrong. Do you know where he is?’

‘I heard something about a falling out between his parents and him. He works for the minister. I bet it has to do with the ministry not believing Dumbledore,’ Sirius said, only partially interested.

‘I can’t believe it. The evidence is everywhere. Even in my one evening in Diagon Alley I saw the difference. People are scared. No one is in the streets at night. Dark figures visit the bar, not afraid to show off how cruel they are. Not to mention everything Harry has suffered.’ Her heart went out for the boy. She hoped to see him again soon. He had witnessed death now. He had lost a schoolmate, maybe even a friend. _And more might follow._ She shivered at the dark thought.

‘Politics are complicated. Fudge has a reason for this. But there are more important questions to ask right now.’

Alicia raised an eyebrow. ‘Such as?’

He looked up from his work with a smile. ‘How did your talk with Moony go?’

She let out a big gulp of air, slowly through her lips. ‘I wanna say: good, then less good, then…complicated.’

Sirius laughed. ‘That does sound complicated. What happened?’

‘Well, first we talked things through. It got a bit heated but not too badly. I forgave him for the scar, I apologized for some things I have said. Then…we argued again. Shouting and all. And then…that idiot kissed me. I was…still am so confused.’ She was biting her nails, concentrating and staring at the far wall. A blush appeared on her cheeks as she remembered that heated kiss.

Sirius stopped fuzzing over the hippogriff and sat down with her. ‘Cheeky Moony. But it doesn’t seem like you minded that. You are even blushing now.’

She tried to hide that fact, but failed miserably. ‘Perhaps.’

‘Can I just ask, why did you come back today? What did you hope to achieve?’ he seemed genuinely curious. There was a piece of straw in his hair that she picked out and threw on the floor.

‘I have to say honestly that I don’t know exactly. As in, I knew I had to apologize for my shouting yesterday among other things. I knew I wanted us to be on better terms. If I’m going to work with the Order we better be on speaking terms right? But…I still haven’t figured out what I _really want._ I’m not sure I want him back. Also not sure I’m looking for closure. And I’m pretty sure being friends is not an option. So…what is left? I just…don’t know.’ She breathed in and out deeply and ran her fingers through her hair.

‘That is confusing. But my word of advice is to figure it out quickly. At some point Remus is going to ask you the same thing, and you better know it by then. Or you might miss your opportunity.’

She smiled. ‘What would I do without my wise old man?’

He got up and offered her a hand. ‘Call me old one more time and I’m telling the twins about the kisses. Then you are in double trouble.’

‘Yep. Shutting up now.’

* * *

There was some progression throughout the day. After her talk with Sirius he had given her a tour of the house. She especially liked his old room, with all sorts of objects reflecting back on the rebellious teenager he was before he ran away. When she reached the kitchen, she offered Molly to help. The woman took her up on her offer gladly and started explaining all the best ways to use magic in the kitchen. Alicia hadn’t cooked often, but she was a quick learner. Molly seemed to like her.

Then she had settled down for a game of exploding snap with Ginny, Ron and Fred. George was in his room doing something secret that Ginny really wanted to know. But the more she asked the further away she seemed to be. Ron had stopped feeling awkward around Alicia. Clearly his little crush from two years back had subsided. One less guy to worry about!

She tried getting Fred alone but the moment their game was over George was downstairs again. There were too little moments to do this without being suspicious. She knew deep down that she had to grit her teeth and do it, but she hadn’t gathered the courage yet.

Arthur, Bill and Charlie were away to do their work for the Order. The only person left was Hermione, who had decided to stay in her room for a while.

Around dinnertime the previously absent people came back, including Remus. Everyone seemed in a good mood, and it only got better when they smelled the meat pies Molly and Alicia had made. Alicia was taking the floral apron off she had found in the kitchen and walked back to the dinner table. Sirius was whispering something to Remus, who smiled and shook his head. They were looking at her.

‘What?’ she asked, feeling silly.

Remus stepped closer to her, put his thumb in his mouth and started wiping something off her forehead. ‘You have flour here.’

She froze and waited for him to take his hand back. ‘Thanks,’ she said quickly before turning back to Molly.

Dinner was pleasant and not confronting. The talk was light, mostly about Arthur’s work. He told them how he had found out that muggles were having phones now that they could take with them. He was rambling on about chargeable batteries and everyone enjoyed his enthusiasm. Alicia cast a couple of glances at Remus, who seemed to be more comfortable too. From the corner of his eye he would look back at her. She had flashbacks to all the times she had stared at him across the Great Hall. How he had sat at the High table with the other teachers and enjoyed his meal or conversed with others. Back then he had noticed her glances, so it wasn’t hard for him to notice them now too.

Hermione was still giving her judgemental looks. Clearly she didn’t seem to think it was okay to date a teacher. She should never have said anything, but she couldn’t take it back anymore.

When everyone was done eating the question came again: ‘Alicia are you staying?’ It was Sirius this time who had asked. He didn’t mean to put her on the spot, he just wanted to know. Remus was giving her a curious look too.

‘It’s a bit soon, I think,’ she said softly. ‘I need to make myself a bit more at home in London. Find my own path for a little while. But I will come back from time to time, if you guys want me to.’

‘Of course dear! Come back every evening for dinner if you like!’ Molly said with a big smile. Clearly she had done something right by helping her. Most of them agreed with Molly, except for Hermione who remained silent.

She got up to leave and everyone got up to say their quick goodbyes. She hugged people and kissed cheeks around the room. Near the exit, Remus was waiting. ‘I’ll let you out,’ he said with a smile.

They walked down the narrow hall towards the front door. Charles was ahead of her, pawing the door. She retrieved her coat and was ready to go. She turned around and looked at Remus. He was still taking on Sirius’ suggestions for clothing. Today he was dressed in a mint green and light grey combo. It suited him well.

‘I figured it was better to give each other some space. I don’t want to invade your home,’ she told him earnestly.

He scratched the back of his neck. ‘That is very thoughtful of you. I appreciate it.’

She nodded. A silence fell apart from the whimpering sounds of Charles.

‘Well I should go,’ she said, jerking a thumb over her shoulder.

‘Yeah. Hey, be careful out there. And come back whenever. I mean it, please feel welcome here. They are your friends too.’ He seemed to consider hugging her, but she decided it was best not to get too close now. She might just end up doing something unexpected.

‘Thanks. Will do!’ she said while she opened the door and stepped outside. On the front porch she apparated. Remus kept looking at the spot where she had disappeared for a while, before closing the door.

* * *

Alicia tried to find her way in this new situation. She got herself an apartment in Diagon Alley for a reasonable rate. She got a job at Eeylops Owl Emporium for the time being and spent her free time with Charles. Sometimes they would go up to the roof, transfigure Charles back into his brilliant lizard form, place a concealment charm over him and fly up through the clouds. It was extremely rare for a witch to be able to ride a dragon. She was very aware of that. It made the whole experience even more beautiful and thrilling.

Being in the wizarding community every day also gave her interesting information to share with the Order. The way people behaved in the streets, how many people were reading _The Daily Prophet_ and what they spoke about when shopping. In her time in Romania Alicia had learned many tricks of blending in and learning from the side-lines. From time to time they needed to investigate why eggs or horns went missing, and Alicia had investigated a couple of cases. Even with her long blonde hair and intense eyes she knew how to sit at a bar and be ignored.

She used this knowledge in the Leaky Cauldron every night. When someone becomes a regular, no one bats an eye anymore. She ate and drank in the bar and listened to what colleagues, friends and even strangers had to tell each other. It made her feel useful. She wondered what Dumbledore was thinking of all the information she was providing.

Another custom was to go to Grimmauld Place at least twice a week. Just for dinner and drinks afterwards. She wouldn’t show any particular interest in Sirius or Remus, and spend more time playing games with the younger crowd. There was a time to continue her talk with Remus, but she was waiting. Waiting for him to grow accustomed to her presence and new personality. Obviously Fred and George kept asking her about her time in Romania and all the adventures she had had, and without fail Remus would sit somewhere within earshot. Sirius often couldn’t help but ask questions so it wasn’t too weird if the both of them were paying attention. No one in the house seemed to suspect she and Remus had a history.

On a warm day in July she was getting up from the table to help rinse the dishes. Molly had worked herself to a maximum again and looked like she needed a break. Alicia walked into the kitchen with a pile of plates and cutlery. One fork started to fall off.

‘No, stop that. Come back- no! Oh. Thanks.’ Talking to inanimate objects in the hope they would do what you wanted was as useless in the magical world as it was in the muggle one. Still, it was hard to resist. Luckily Remus had walked in and pushed the fork back.

‘You seemed convinced it would listen to you. Trying a new form of verbal magic without a wand?’ he joked as he also placed a pile on the counter.

‘Trying, not succeeding. But one day they will listen,’ she said in the same light joking tone as he was using.

‘You sure about that?’ he was grinning.

‘I’m that kind of awesome, yes,’ she proclaimed. This made him laugh out loud. She hadn’t heard that sound in such a long time…it brought back memories. Memories of dinners they had shared, of evenings in bed telling each other stories, of arguing in the kitchen over cooking techniques…

He noticed the blush on her cheeks and quieted down. They both set to do the dishes. Of course this was doable with magic, but they both decided to do it the regular way. It would give them more time together.

‘So I had a question about something you said today in your stories,’ Remus said, breaking the silence.

‘Shoot.’ Her eyes were on the plate in her hand.

‘You were talking about the poachers and how your boss asked if someone wanted to go undercover to catch them. You said you didn’t sign up for that, but that they begged you because you were most competent. Did I understand that correctly?’ he said carefully.

‘So you did. Most men at the Sanctuary were already familiar faces. I was still unknown in those areas where the work needed to be done,’ she explained further. She remembered one long day of hiking to a village in the mountains for a certain meeting.

‘My question is this: why didn’t you sign up? When I met you, you were covered in bruises because you had scammed dangerous men who were holding Occamy eggs in their pockets for trade. Why didn’t you want to do it in Romania?’ He had a puzzled look on his face as he looked at her.

This made her blush too. She cleared her throat and tried to sound like the answer wasn’t personal. ‘Despite the scars I sport, I’m actually not that reckless anymore. I learned a great deal about self-preservation.’

‘From your work, you mean?’ he asked.

Why did it feel like he was fishing for an answer? Well, she was going to give it anyway. ‘No. From you.’

He looked a bit shocked. ‘I did?’

She sighed. ‘Yeah well, you were always so worried about me. At first I wondered what the fuzz was about, but after you uhh scratched me on my ankle and I got my first scar I realised that I could be damaged permanently. I lost the childlike idea of being indestructible and became more careful. This was also one of the reasons why I didn’t want to join the Order with you. I…became scared.’

A silence fell. She felt like she was holding her heart in her hand, for him to see. ‘Scared of dying?’ he asked quietly. She nodded. He sighed and put the dishcloth aside. Then his hands were on her shoulders. She looked up at him, wondering what he would do.

‘That is one more thing I didn’t know. I wish I had. Being scared of dying is reason enough not to sign up for a war. I realise of course that I have pushed you too much back then…but it was also because I misunderstood your intentions. Pfff, if I could go back in time so many things…’

‘Are the glasses clean again? Sirius is going to teach us a drinking game. Oh…’ Fred had walked in and noticed how close Alicia and Remus were. When he was done speaking Remus had retracted his hands from her shoulders but hadn’t stopped looking at her. Fred tried to see around Remus, but as he was taller this was difficult. Remus was intentionally closing him off from their intimate space.

But he wasn’t the only one that looked defensive. Fred seemed ready to tug Remus around just so he could look at Alicia. She decided this wasn’t worth the argument and turned around to fetch the wanted glasses.

‘Here you go. Leave a place for me,’ she said with a smile. Fred took the glasses hesitantly, staring at Remus’ back. ‘We’ll just finish up the dishes,’ Alicia added, hoping to send him away.

Finally he did leave. Remus was drying a glass, but his grip was so hard she was afraid it would break. She placed a hand over his and heard him exhale deeply.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.

He grunted at first. ‘Nothing.’

She placed her hands on her hips. ‘I thought we were trying to communicate better.’

He looked at her and his angry look softened. Then he looked ashamed. ‘You are right, sorry. I just…don’t like the way the twins treat you. They are almost…possessive.’

Alicia let out an airy laugh. ‘No one possesses me. Are you sure it is not a territorial wolf thing in your head?’

He shook his head. ‘No. Well, maybe that too. But I heard Fred speak to Ron the other night about you. It set my teeth on edge.’

‘Well now I’m curious. What did he say?’

He seemed reluctant to respond. He picked up another glass and rubbed it more carefully this time. ‘He was bragging about the time you kissed him. He said he was sure you would come back for more one of these days.’

This made her go extremely red in the face. ‘Oh.’

‘So when did that happen?’ he asked very casually. It sounded like he was mildly interested, but she knew he was dying to know.

‘Not while I was with you,’ she assured him first. He relaxed his shoulders at that. ‘It was a mistake. A drunken night with too much adrenaline in my system. I…Fred has had a crush on me for a while. I knew that in school, but I never acted on it. Right around the time he was trying the most…I met you.’

This seemed to brighten his mood too. He nodded shortly.

‘As for his bragging, Merlin that is embarrassing. Does he really think I’m interested?’ she said exasperated.

‘Are you?’ he mumbled so quickly she nearly missed it.

At first she wanted to ask why that was his business. But of course it was his business. They were trying to rebuilt…something. It made sense he wanted to know her intentions. And anyway, no one should be walking around with the idea that she fancied Fred. Or George.

‘No,’ she stated firmly. All the dishes were washed and she dried her hands. Remus put everything in the cabinets with his wand, a hint of a smile on his face.

‘I really need to talk to them. I mean him. But getting the twins separated is proving difficult,’ she complained lightly.

Remus shrugged. ‘I could help.’

‘No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Judging by how hostile his behaviour was a moment ago, I’m worried they are catching up on something. We should be careful,’ she said while looking him in the eye again. Laughter was rising from the dining room. Sirius was a bad combination with the twins. Too much mischief in one house.

‘Careful about?’ Remus asked confused.

‘About well,’ she felt her cheeks warm up again. _Stop that!_ ‘About being seen together. I hardly think people will react better to it now than they would have at Hogwarts. You are still a bit older than me.’

His features moved into that familiar smirk he often did around her. That combination of mischievous intentions and sexual innuendo. A face that screamed that slogan they had chosen years ago. _I solemnly swear…_

Alicia had trouble breathing at seeing it again. She wondered why he was looking at her that way. Had she said anything?

‘What?’ she asked, feeling very exposed.

He chuckled. ‘I’m just happy to hear I still have a chance.’

She gaped like a fish as he left her alone in the kitchen. Is that what she wanted? Another chance?

Maybe.


	10. Hot & cold

Eyes narrowed, Alicia was holding Patrick’s gaze. She wouldn’t be the first to back down. No, she had to be faster. Staring into those large eyes was hypnotizing, but nothing Alicia couldn’t handle. Quick as a wink, Alicia darted forward and grabbed the bag. Patrick was not much slower than her, reaching out for the bag with his sharp nails. But Alicia was quick enough to grasp the bag out of his reach. Then the chain pulled him back.

‘Ha! No more treats for you Patrick! That is what you get for flying into my hair and making me spoil the food!’ she said excitedly to the tawny owl.

‘Alicia stop talking to the owls,’ her colleague told her. ‘Go behind the counter, I have to take care of some things in the back.’

‘Aye captain,’ Alicia said jokingly. All her colleagues knew Alicia was highly overqualified to work with owls, but they enjoyed her enthusiasm and weird way of dealing with the creatures. For the others the owls were a product to sell. For her they were much more.

Alicia was behind the counter, writing down a list of supplies that were low on stock. The bell at the door jingled and in came a woman.

‘Good afternoon, how can I help you?’ Alicia asked with her pleasant customer-voice.

The woman looked in a hurry. She plopped a bag onto the counter and kept looking out the window, like she couldn’t wait to be out of there. ‘I need an owl,’ she proclaimed, not looking Alicia in the eye.

‘Excellent. Do you have a preference of breed? Is the owl a gift or…’

‘Just whatever is fast in delivering messages,’ she said while holding her hand up to stop Alicia talking.

She took a good look at this woman. At first glance she looked to be in her fifties, her pale blonde hair greying in tufts. She had big bags under her eyes and a haunted, unnerving look. When Alicia concentrated, she noticed she was actually younger, but something had taken a heavy toll on this woman. Nevertheless she carried herself importantly and her clothes looked expensive. There was a twitch in her jaw muscle and it suddenly seemed mildly familiar. Nevertheless she couldn’t figure out who this was.

Alicia went into the store and placed a brown owl carefully in a cage. She also added some food and a nice leather strap to hold letters in. The woman looked at the owl like she already regretted buying it.

‘Here you go. Brown owls are the quickest of the lot. He will deliver your messages in record time. Is there anything else?’ Alicia said with a smile. Alicia made a sport out of being overly nice to rude customers. She hoped that maybe it would make a difference for the life of the creature she was selling. However it looked like this woman would never take care of the pet herself. She probably had staff for that.

She quickly paid and had to pick up the cage, what seemed to pain her. She made an unhappy sound and was out of the shop before Alicia could say: ‘Have a nice day!’

Alicia looked out into the street, where the woman was hurrying away as quick as she could. She smiled. That was probably her best sell of the day.

* * *

Only with a password was it possible to travel by floo powder to the fireplace at Grimmauld Place. Alicia stepped out of the green flames and into the familiar living room, Charles the dog hot on her heels.

‘Hello again,’ she greeted Sirius who was welcoming everyone for the next meeting. He was dressed in a velvet maroon coat with matching dark shirt and trousers underneath. His dark hair was reaching to his shoulders and it looked thick and lush, much better than the ragged look he sported in Azkaban. Seeing this gentlemen, it was hard to imagine him ever spending time in prison.

He greeted her with a hug. ‘Hello dear. Please find yourself a good seat…what is this?’

Alicia had shoved a letter with an intricate black seal on top in his face. The seal was broken. She wiggled her eyebrows. ‘Just something everyone might like to know,’ she said mysteriously.

Sirius seemed intrigued. He reached for the letter but Alicia pulled it out of his reach. ‘You’ll hear about it soon enough.’ Then she walked away, leaving Sirius partly annoyed partly amused.

Alicia sat with Charlie and Bill. Before long it looked like most people were present, but there were still seven or eight core members missing. Among them Remus.

‘Were is the rest?’ Alicia asked the two Weasleys who flanked her.

‘Harry is coming here today. We talked about that last meeting, remember?’ Charlie said excitedly. ‘Finally. I’ve been on guarding duty last week to watch over him with those muggles. He looked deeply unhappy there. I hope things will get better once he gets here.’

Alicia doubted it. Sure, it would be temporary relief to be away from his abusive aunt and uncle, but Harry was not the same anymore. The kid had seen someone die. Alicia wondered if he would ever be his cheery, sarcastic self again.

Dumbledore had yet to arrive, but some people were already talking about Order business.

‘I wonder if they have meetings like us. The Death Eaters. Wouldn’t it be great to get some intel on that? Severus have you heard of anything?’ A wizard whose name Alicia couldn’t remember was asking. When Snape was asked the question, the room went quiet.

‘No such things yet. First they are recruiting,’ he said slowly.

‘Maybe no big gatherings. But there are small ones, amongst the most loyal families.’

Everyone, even Snape, looked up at Alicia. His eyes were big and dangerous. How dare anyone know more than him, right? Alicia held up the letter again and shoved it over the table towards Snape. He picked it up carefully and read it. His expression went from annoyed to mad.

‘How have you confiscated a letter from Narcissa Malfoy?’ he asked, sounding more emotional than she heard him in a long time.

More people were eying her. Right at that moment Albus Dumbledore appeared in the fireplace.

‘How wonderful to see all of you again. I’m afraid I don’t have much time tonight. We need a compact summary of the last activities and a plan for coming events,’ Dumbledore said before he even got in his chair. Snape passed the letter to him. He pushed his half-moon spectacles back on his nose and read the letter quickly. In it, Narcissa was writing to the Lestrange family to ask for a meeting next Thursday. Dumbledore looked up.

‘Who intercepted this message?’ he asked.

Alicia raised her hand. ‘Oh and nobody knows. I made a copy. The Lestranges have the original. No reason to suspect we have this information.’

Now people were even more excited. ‘How did you catch it?’ someone asked.

‘I would like to know that too,’ Dumbledore said calmly.

Alicia shrugged. ‘I sell owls now. It’s not that hard to make them loyal to you before you sell them. It is even easier when the new owner doesn’t bother with treats.’

The room was quiet for a good minute, before Sirius started laughing. Charlie joined in and Dumbledore looked amused too.

‘Good one Fata foc,’ Charlie said while clapping her on the back.

‘We can always trust you to come up with new clever ways to use animals, right?’ Sirius added. A good portion of the crowd seemed impressed too.

Charles barked once and she shushed him with a pat on the head. Dumbledore was giving her an important look. ‘Yes, very resourceful indeed. A skill we can use well. Thank you for this Alicia.’

His eyes had a way of looking past your face and into your soul. She couldn’t stand it for very long. Now a thought formed in her mind _. Was that a good idea? Or did I just gain his interest in a very wrong way? What will he plan to use me for?_ _Surely he expects more than the owl trick and the gathered information from the pub._

There was a commotion in the hallway. Behind the closed door everyone could hear shushed voices. Moments later the door swung open and in came all the missing members, like Moody, Tonks, Shacklebolt and Remus Lupin. Alicia was twisted in her seat to look down the hallway, and saw a figure standing there. A figure with black hair and round glasses. He had a moment to look inside before the door was closed.

‘Harry came over safe,’ Remus told the group. He walked around the table and found a spot next to Sirius. He gave Alicia a quick glance and winked.

‘What did we miss?’ Moody grumbled as he forced Charlie out of his seat next to the door.

‘Just Alicia showing off how brilliant she is,’ Charlie said with an amused look. He found a place a couple of seats over.

‘No surprise there,’ Remus said with a snicker. A lot of people looked up at this, wondering how these two went from nuclear to joking in a month. Alicia smiled back, not giving a shit about the other people in the room. Remus looked so proud in that moment, and it warmed her heart.

Dumbledore took the floor again and talked about new developments. He thanked a couple of members for their input. Alicia was on and off listening. She was partially distracted by Remus who kept glancing at her. Every time she looked over she caught him staring. The other distracting thought was Harry, who was upstairs just now. Harry probably wanted to know what was going on, and he probably ached to see Sirius again.

Speaking of which, Sirius didn’t seem quite the same. Despite his effort to look groomed he had a dark expression on his face. Like a dementor had sucked out a part of his soul. After a moment of wondering, Alicia thought it was probably this house. This house was almost as terrible to him as Azkaban had been. So far he had been joking about his depression, but at some point he couldn’t pretend anymore. Alicia decided to stay for tonight to help out with all the personal problems in this house…and that should probably include hers.

Dumbledores parting words were that is was good for all of them to find a duelling partner and practice defensive spells. Sooner or later that would safe one’s life, he stated.

When the meeting was over the usual people left quickly and some lingered to speak. Alicia went in search of Arthur and asked if there was a room left for her to take for the night. He welcomed her gladly and asked if she could help with his newly acquired muggle radio. Alicia said she would.

Before most of the Order members were gone, the room filled up even more with the younger Weasleys. Fred and George popped in the room, giving their mom a fright. But they helped to set the table. Ginny walked in to talk to Tonks and soon the three friends, Ron, Hermione and Harry walked in too.

Alicia cut the conversation with an excited witch short to get to Harry. He had already gone around to greet everyone he knew, when Alicia appeared next to him. He looked over and she saw exactly what she had feared: Harry was holding back anger. He was not displeased to see her, but he just didn’t care as much as he had last year, when she found them in the woods. He was not the same boy anymore.

‘Hey Harry,’ she said calmly.

Despite all that, he did manage a smile. ‘Hey Nessie. I heard you were here now. Don’t you miss the dragons?’ This slightly sarcastic remark – because Harry did definitely _not_ miss the Hungarian Horntail – meant a lot to her. She laughed loudly.

‘Merlin’s beard yes I do! Working with owls is really a drag compared to dragons. But I suppose in the end it is worth it,’ she looked at him, and then cast a quick glance in the direction of a specific man that was helping to set the table.

‘Well, it’s good to see you,’ Harry stated before he moved on. Alicia didn’t miss the fact that he hadn’t hugged her. Maybe he had reached that age where hugging was stupid and for girls, or maybe he just wasn’t feeling like hugging would do anything. Alicia sighed and found herself a place at the table.

Harry was sitting close to Sirius, who had Crookshanks on his lap and looked glumly in the distance. He was complaining about being stuck in this house like Alicia had expected. In that moment, as conversation continued, Alicia felt once more like a side character to someone else’s story. Whenever Harry entered a room it felt like nothing was important anymore. She decided not to interfere in his conversation and looked around who else was there to talk with.

As she looked up at the end of the table, she saw a funny scenario. Tonks was talking to Remus, and Remus looked deeply uncomfortable. He was scratching the back of his neck and there was a blush visible on his cheeks. Tonks didn’t seem too fazed by whatever the topic was. In the end she shrugged and walked away. Remus took a moment to compose himself. He looked around and noticed Alicia. He blushed even deeper but decided to sit next to her anyway.

‘What got you to look like a tomato?’ Alicia joked.

He cleared his throat softly and wasn’t looking at her. ‘Tonks asked to be my duelling partner.’

Alicia remembered Dumbledore’s suggestion, but didn’t really get why he was so unnerved. ‘So?’

Now he did look up, the blush slightly fading. ‘Well…it would mean to spend a lot of time together, practicing. And I just think…Tonks is not the right person for that.’

She crossed her arms. ‘Is that because she is clumsy? Remus I expected more from you. That is mean.’

Now he laughed. ‘You really can be thick sometimes.’

‘Excuse you?!’ she exclaimed, wondering why he was insulting her too now.

He shushed her a bit, trying not to make a scene. ‘Alicia, I said no to Tonks because I was hoping you wanted to be my duelling partner.’

The logic of it slapped her in the face at once. Now it was her time to blush, finally understanding what was going on. ‘Oh.’

‘Yeah,’ he said nervously. ‘But I won’t rush you. Take your time.’

Alicia realised he was being very careful. He meant that in more ways than one, that he wasn’t rushing her. He realised his chances were possible, but easily broken. And in that moment Alicia realised it was the other way around too. Remus his patience would wear out one day, and then _she_ would be out of chances. Their situation required finesse and kind words. No more yelling.

‘I will think about it,’ she said finally, but in a way that sounded hopeful. Remus smiled and they dropped the subject.

 _What do you want?_ She asked herself. It was still a fuzzy picture, but it was getting clearer. Whatever situation she was in now, it was better than a month ago. She felt happier. Because she was on good terms with Remus, they weren’t arguing anymore. They were learning to understand each other. And that felt good.

She looked over at the man next to her and had a faint urge to hold his hand under the table.

* * *

Dinner had given Alicia a headache. Lots of important conversations had been held, mostly involving Harry. He needed to be up to date on many events that had happened. Sirius happily told him everything, but Molly tried to keep him out of the Order business. Their constant arguing was understandable, but it was the reason Alicia felt like her skull would split.

She had wandered up the stairs when a door opened in the hall above. In the room were Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. They were sitting around, with Hermione at the door.

‘Oh! Hi Alicia,’ Hermione said hesitantly.

‘Hey,’ she greeted back with her hand to her forehead. ‘Hermione, you don’t happen to have a potion for headaches, do you?’

‘Uhm, yeah I do.’

Alicia waited. ‘Well can I come in?’

She seemed to consider saying no. ‘Okay.’

At this point Alicia was clueless as to her behaviour, but it didn’t really matter. All she needed was that potion.

‘Hi Alicia,’ Ginny greeted her a lot friendlier than Hermione had done.

She waved to all of them and sat down on the bed next to Harry. Hermione was looking around in her trunk, already neatly packed for school. Which was still a month away.

‘Not interrupting anything, am I?’ Alicia asked, looking around the room.

Ron shrugged. ‘We were just making sure Harry knows everything we do.’

‘So is your head as ready to burst as mine?’ Alicia joked to the boy with the messy black hair. Harry smiled faintly. ‘I’d rather hear it all now than find out much later than the rest. Like per usual.’

Hermione had found the potion and presented it to the older witch. ‘Here. Just one sip should be enough.’ The potion was cold and a bit gooey but she drank it anyway. With a big gulp she swallowed enough and handed the bottle back. For a moment it felt like she would throw up, but it stayed down. Within seconds she felt the ache fade away.

‘Ahhh. That is much better. Thank you for AUCH!’

In her newfound ease, Alicia had decided to lean back against the headboard. However she had missed that Crookshanks was lying there. The cat hissed and lashed out at Alicia’s lower back. Then he jumped off the bed and ran to Hermione.

‘Don’t sit on my cat!’ Hermione said accusingly.

‘I wasn’t even touching him yet! He just decided to attack!’

‘Seems like Crookshanks holds a grunge against you then,’ Harry joked.

Alicia tugged on the sleeve of her shirt as she mumbled: “and he’s not the only one apparently.” She pulled the shirt over her head, leaving her dressed in the tank top she wore underneath. Right at the moment she had disposed of the shirt she heard a collective intake of breath.

‘Bloody hell,’ Ron exclaimed.

‘There are a lot!’ Ginny said, seeming more allured than revolted.

‘Merlin’s beard, Alicia! You weren’t very careful…’ Hermione uttered.

Harry just stared. They all were staring at her arms, which weren’t usually visible. Alicia didn’t like to have that conversation and those stares over and over again, so mostly she wore shirts with long sleeves. The only place where she didn’t mind it was the camp in Romania. There however it was better to have fireproof clothes all over your body. So naturally, not a lot of people got to see the silver lines criss-crossing over her skin like a random pattern. Some were long, some short. But all of them pretty faded. One of them wouldn’t have caught attention, but all together…

She was quite the freak show.

‘Well, working with dragons takes its toll. If you asked Charlie to strip I bet he looks similar. His arms do. Harry, could you take a look at my back and tell me whether I’m bleeding?’

Harry moved to her other side and awkwardly pulled her top up. ‘Uhh yeah. You are bleeding. That’s a nasty gash.’

Alicia chuckled. ‘At least this one will not scar. Hermione do you have…’

Hermione was already back with her face in the trunk, looking for the right salve. With animal claws wounds could always be infected.

‘So whenever a dragon even scratches you, it leaves a mark?’ Ginny asked, sitting on the edge of the other bed. She leaned as close as she could to Alicia’s exposed arm.

‘Yep. Only two creatures that leave permanent scars. No healing spell or potion works on them. So what you see really is all the scratches, bruises and cuts you get usually, but these don’t heal. Imagine if all your injuries stayed. You would all look like me,’ Alicia told them while sitting cross-legged on the bed, Harry behind her, dabbing at the blood with a kerchief.

‘Yeah but those are all inflicted by dragons!’ Ron said, sounding impressed with her. She hoped this wouldn’t spark another crush. She had had enough of those for a lifetime.

Hermione had found a salve and handed it to Harry. After a moment she felt the faint touch of his fingertips to her back. It was quiet for a moment, everyone mesmerized with Alicia’s skin.

‘I don’t think all of them,’ Harry suddenly said. He sat very still, concentrating on the wound.

‘Sorry?’ Alicia asked, not really following him.

‘I don’t think all of them were inflicted by dragons. The one on your cheek is really different than all of these.’

‘Oh now is the time to be observant, is it Harry?’ she said annoyed while looking at the floor.

Harry shrugged. ‘Maybe. So what is that other creature that leaves permanent scars?’ He was done with the wound. Hermione did a quick healing spell and Alicia was all better. She lowered her top and pulled the shirt back on. She turned on the bed so she could see Harry again, who was eying the scar on her cheek.

Before she could say anything, Hermione gasped. Everyone looked at her. Her eyes were big as she stared at Alicia.

‘Were you bitten?’ she asked, her voice almost a whisper.

‘No,’ Alicia said darkly. ‘Just scratched.’

‘By what?’ Ginny asked.

Alicia sighed deeply. ‘A werewolf.’

Apart from Hermione, the rest didn’t expect that. Their eyes were big and unbelieving.

‘A were…do you mean Lupin?’ Ron asked, not even subtly.

Alicia got up from the bed and paced around. Her arms were crossed, her head hung low. Her stance told them this was not an easy topic.

‘Yes. Remus did that. He wounded me.’

‘Remus?’ Harry asked, a shocked look on his face. ‘Why would you call him…’

There was a loud noise just outside the room. It sounded like someone had knocked a stone item to the floor. The boards creaked as someone hurried away.

‘Shit,’ Alicia whispered as she stormed out of the room.

It was dark in the hallway, and it took her a moment to adjust. Then she saw a figure walking away from her.

‘Hey! Don’t run off,’ she yelled after him.

The figure stopped. Now that her eyes were adjusted, she could see that it was Remus. _Of course it was. No such thing as luck in my life, right?_ He seemed to shake in his place, hands clenched into fists. Finally he turned around. He looked resentful.

‘I thought you were over that,’ he said while waving his hand in the direction of her face. ‘And here you are, telling everyone I did that.’

Alicia took a couple of steps closer. There was a gas lamp on the wall next to them, illuminating one side of both their faces.

With withheld anger, Alicia replied: ‘ _Over it_? Is that really how you want to phrase it? Are you telling me to get _over_ the way my face looks?’

His mouth was a straight line, his eyes big in the poorly-lit hallway. ‘I mean that you forgave me. We moved on past that point, or so I thought.’

‘I am trying, Remus. But for a year I have been on my own. I have done things without your help and anyone who dared to say your name to me ended up regretting it. I have spent a long time being angry with you, and now we are trying to fix that. But it won’t happen overnight. It won’t happen in a month. Also, I did forgive you for the scar, but I am not going to lie when they ask me about it. How many werewolves does a regular person know, anyway?’ Her mouth felt dry after saying so much at once. She licked her lips and looked away.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘You could have stopped at saying it was a werewolf. You could have left the rest open to their interpretation. But the way you said it-‘

‘In a confined room where I didn’t think you were eavesdropping,’ Alicia said through gritted teeth.

A loud _Bang!_ Echoed through the house when Remus slammed a fist into the wall. It startled Alicia. Her eyes were big, looking directly at him. She had looked quite similar the day she had received that scar.

‘It doesn’t seem like you have forgiven me! And if you don’t, then why did you lie to me? Why did you say you did? When we were talking in my room last month, I could have taken it if you said you hadn’t. But now…now it hurts Alicia!’ Remus was getting really worked up. His voice was loud and surely people could hear them.

‘And now you want to hurt me, is that it? Is that why you are getting aggressive again? Would you like to add a little line to my face?’ she spat at him. At this point she actually shoved him back a little. ‘Well too bad. I’m a little stronger now. No longer the pushover student that you wanted. No longer your toy!’

Footsteps were heard coming up the stairs. Remus looked ashamed to hear these words so loud. He wanted to run away, but not before he had put her in her place.

‘You were the one that wanted to fuck a teacher. That is the only reason you ever came to me. Because I was your next reckless challenge. I should never have joined in your wicked fantasy.’

Another loud sound could be heard throughout the house. This time it was Alicia’s fist colliding with Remus’ face. He was knocked back and cradled his nose with his hand. Even in the dimness Alicia could see he was bleeding.

‘Screw you!’ She shouted before storming off. Her aim was the stairs leading down, but Sirius was standing there to block the way.

‘Alicia, please stay,’ he said shortly.

She huffed so hard smoke nearly came from her nose. Then she took the stairs up to the room they had prepared for her. Inside, she slammed the door and locked it with strong magic.

No one would come near her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *scared whisper* please don't murder me


	11. Hidden truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, y'all got pretty emotional at the last chapter huh? Well I'm glad to see you are so invested with the characters.   
> Let's talk again at the end of this chapter. Enjoy!

The bedroom Alicia was occupying hadn’t been used in a long time. Large clouds of dust were floating around. She woke up with a cough and decided to air the room out. It was a rainy day in London, like many others. But the fresh morning rain did wonders for the stuffy room.

She looked around at the books, the closet that was mostly empty, the desk with a couple of scrolls and writing equipment still present and the posters on the wall. After a while she realised it was Sirius’ younger brother who had lived here. Regulus Black. She found the name in a journal. A little over a year ago, when she had been living with Remus, they had looked at photo albums. That was when Alicia found out about Sirius his brother. Remus told her best not to ask too much about him. It was still painful for Sirius to think about Regulus.

Charles, who was curled up in a corner, yawned and got to his feet. Alicia sat down on the floor to pet and hug him. Charles never judged her. Charles would always love her unconditionally.

‘Charles, I’m giving up on people. From now on you are the only one I care about,’ she told him as her face sank in his fur. Charles licked her cheek and she couldn’t help smiling. Then she sat up and looked in his mesmerizing eyes. Sometimes she could forget that Charles wasn’t a dog, but the eyes reminded her what he really was.

‘Yeah, I know. I don’t sound very convincing,’ she said with a sigh. ‘At some point I’m going to have to get out of this room. But what do I do? Ignore everyone and just eat? I can’t do that forever. Should I leave? Now that Remus and I are completely done, should we go home? I miss Romania. The mountains, the woods, the dragons of course…’

Charles whined and pushed his nose to her forehead. Tears started to fall down her cheeks.

‘Why do I screw everything up Charles? Why am I so bad at keeping people close? I want…’ She stopped talking to sob quietly. That was the problem. Alicia had no idea what she wanted.

Almost an hour passed by as Alicia did nothing but cry in her room. Her mind tried to make sense of everything, but most of the memories were too painful. Everything Remus had shouted yesterday…it was too much. It constantly threw her in a new crying fit.

* * *

Dinner was the first meal of the day Alicia attended. She had cried her eyes dry, and had no more to give. It was time to get some food. When she stood in the doorway to the dining room, everyone stopped their conversation to look up at her.

‘Hey Nessie, haven’t seen you since yesterday. Did you get Kreacher to bring food to your room? We’ve been trying to get him to do that,’ Fred said. It occurred to her that her shouting match had not reached everyone.

‘Uhm no. I haven’t been hungry,’ Alicia lied. ‘Molly do you need help in the kitchen?’

The woman in question just walked in, a steaming oven dish in her gloved hands. ‘No dear! Everything is ready. You look pale, you should eat something.’

Alicia sat down as far away from Remus and Sirius as she could. Across from her were Fred and George, the rest of the family in the middle. After a long moment of staring at her plate Alicia dared to look around. She was curious who had listened in yesterday. Did anyone else now know about them? Did Harry, Ginny and Ron? Hermione already knew of course, and finally Alicia understood that that was the reason for her hostility. Since yesterday Hermione was in the house with both Remus and her, and during dinner they had been quite close.

At this point, no one was looking at her. Only George kept glancing at her, but not in the way she feared.

 _Just one more evening,_ she told herself.

‘Did you sleep well Alicia?’ Arthur asked. ‘We didn’t really have time to clean up the room yet. I hope it wasn’t too bad.’

Oblivious to the state she went to bed in, Arthur seemed more concerned with the dust and mould. Alicia tried to smile. ‘It was fine, thank you.’

‘We can help to get rid of the doxys tomorrow if you want. I want to try a new spell that might or might not cause them to pop like a soap bubble,’ George said with a wicked grin. Fred poked him in the side. ‘Oh come on, you know Nessie doesn’t want to harm creatures, even pests. Stupid idea George.’

‘Actually,’ Alicia said louder than she intended, ‘It won’t be necessary. I am leaving tonight.’

‘Back to your apartment?’ Molly asked. She looked quite hurt that Alicia didn’t want to stay with her family.

‘No. Back home. To the Sanctuary.’

‘NO.’

Everyone’s head turned around to Sirius, sitting at the head of the table. He slammed his hand down. ‘No Alicia. You are not running away again. Face your problems for once.’

This got her in a state. She pushed the chair back and stood so she could look down on the rest. ‘You are not the boss of me Sirius!’

Now he stood too. ‘No, I’m not. You should be. But because you are so incompetent at making decisions, I’m making them for you. It is time you get things cleared up. _Everything_ ,’ he said while looking over at the twins.

Alicia’s face turned tomato-red. ‘I’m leaving.’

A couple of things happened at once. First, Sirius took out his wand. At this sight Alicia took out hers. Remus got up and tried to block Sirius from doing anything, but he got his jinx in anyway under Remus’ arm. Alicia was hit with a binding spell that strapped her to her chair. During all of this, Charles had jumped on the table and was now biting Sirius’ arm.

‘Ahh! Get him off me!’

‘Sirius Orion Black you son of a bitch! Let me go!’

‘Alicia! Call back your dog now!’

If everyone could just CALM DOWN!’

It was Remus who had shouted at last. He had ceased Charles around his neck and wrestled him to the ground. Then he tied him up with a magic rope to the wall. Charles continued to bark but Remus put a soundproof bubble around him. Sirius was holding his injured arm out and staring at it in bewilderment. Remus tried to heal him.

‘That won’t work,’ Charlie said with a dark expression. ‘The wounds will stay and scar.’

He got up and helped to get Sirius some ointment that helped with the bleeding.

‘What do you mean? It’s just a dog. Or…cat,’ Sirius said annoyed.

Charlie sighed deeply. ‘Oh come on! Look at Alicia for once. She is the closest anyone can come to _being_ a dragon! Obviously she brought one with her.’

‘That dog is a transfigured _dragon?!’_ Remus asked, looking only at Charlie.

‘The only one that could ever be held as a pet. But you should have stopped him from attacking Sirius Fata foc!’ Charlie shouted in her direction.

‘Then he shouldn’t have attacked me. Speaking of which, who is going to release me? I’ll take my dragon personality and my dragon pet out of this house,’ she spat back.

Sirius pushed Charlie aside and stepped around the table to Alicia. ‘Absolutely not. You are going to apologize.’

Her eyes went twice as big. ‘Excuse me? To who, you?’

‘No. You are going to start with Fred and George.’

No one in the room had expected that. Fred and George first looked at each other, then at Alicia.

‘For what, Nessie?’

‘Yeah, what did you do?’

Her eyes were on Sirius only. The tension in the room was palpable. ‘I hate you.’

He didn’t seem fazed. ‘Come on, we are waiting.’

Alicia considered listening. She was bound, both by ropes and by expectations from people she called friends. She calmed herself down with some deep breaths. ‘Fine. But in private.’

‘No. You’ve had enough chances at private. And your behaviour is so erratic that everyone here now knows about it. So, spit it out.’ Sirius was looking more and more like a father figure, or an older brother. She hadn’t seen this side of him yet. Usually he was chaotic, funny and mischievous. In the end she realised he was doing this because he cared about her. That thought pushed her on to say what she should have said a while ago.

‘Alright fine,’ she said with a much calmer voice. She looked around and grimaced at the thought that everyone would know her embarrassing secrets from now on. Arthur, Molly, Ron, Ginny, Harry, Hermione and Charlie had nothing to do with this situation. They shouldn’t be in the room. On top of that, Remus didn’t know this thing either. ‘But at least release me. I won’t run. I promise.’

Sirius released her without a second thought. Alicia leaned forward on the table and looked at Fred and George.

‘Boys, I have a confession to make. Before I came back to London, I had hoped you two would have talked this out already, but it seems you haven’t. Do you remember the party at the Gryffindor tower last year, after Harry got through the first task of the Triwizard Tournament?’ Her voice was steady, even analytic. She tried to say this as simply as she could.

‘Of course,’ Fred said proudly while George said: ‘Hard to forget.’

‘Well,’ there was no going back now. She looked them in the eye in turns, ‘I kissed you both that night. Or well, you both kissed me.’

One huge balloon in her stomach had deflated. One huge burden finally dropped. At this point she was even past shame. It was also not funny anymore. It was personal and serious.

‘What?’ Fred whispered. He tried to look at his brother but couldn’t.

Alicia reached out and clasped her hands over Fred’s. ‘I have been aware of the crush you had on me for many years at school,’ she started, ignoring his growing discomfort. ‘And it is very flattering and sweet. At a certain point I even considered dating you. But then I met someone else. I’m sorry I ran away with your feelings for so long. It was not fair to you. And I shouldn’t have kissed you at that party. But at that moment I was alone and…well I was weak. I regret not being more honest with you. I hope you can forgive me.’

Another silence stretched, or maybe Ron was whispering something to Harry. But it was too soft to hear what he said. Fred blinked many times, trying to compose himself. Then he smiled weakly. ‘I knew you weren’t interested. But I just couldn’t stop trying. You kept being so…amazing.’

Alicia laughed softly. ‘Thanks.’ Then she let him go and turned to George. ‘As for you, I’m sorry too. I must admit your confession came as a surprise to me that evening. I hadn’t been aware of your crush. I always saw you both as funny good friends that I enjoy hanging out with. I hope we can still be that, even if it takes some time.’

George seemed more easily back to his joking self. ‘Oh of course we can. I didn’t know my brother here had kissed you too that night, and come to think of it; it is strange we never figured that out about each other. But for me it was more of a heat-of-the-moment thing. Sure I always admired you, but maybe I laid the feelings on a bit too thick that time. I’m sorry for kissing you too.’

Alicia took a deep breath. ‘That is really good to hear. So uh…you aren’t angry with me or each other?’

Fred finally looked at George. ‘Well, I can’t say I like hearing this. But you were never my girlfriend so I can’t claim you or anything. We good?’

‘Sure,’ George said while they shook hands. Alicia felt good watching them.

‘Now, was that so hard?’ Sirius said with a smirk on his face.

Her smile faltered right away. Her face went blank as she got up slowly to round the table towards him. When she was in front of him he seemed a bit nervous. _Good._

‘You shouldn’t have forced me to do that. Not in front of so many people that have nothing to do with this. I want to punch you in the face,’ she told him. Not really angry, but just very honest.

‘I think you have already done that enough,’ said Remus.

He had walked around the table too, hands in his pockets. Sirius was standing between the two for now, but he smiled and stepped aside. When Alicia looked at her former professor, she noticed the bruise around his nose. He could have fixed that. He had chosen to keep the bruise.

Alicia opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly all the words she wanted to say seemed miles away from her. Her mind was working overtime now. She was in a calm state, not emotional. And in this – forced by Sirius – calm state, every little detail seemed to be so pointless. All the bullshit, all the tiny feelings were melting like snow in the sun. Finally, she could look past it to see what she wanted.

_I want him._

Even after the hours of crying she had done, she managed to shed more tears. Her lip quivered before it turned into a smile and her entire face softened as she opened herself up.

Remus, who was standing a couple of meters away from her, seemed to be going through a similar process. His mind was doing the same deductions, and he mirrored her smile.

‘I’m so sorry,’ she said.

‘Me too,’ he replied.

His hands left his pockets just in time to receive the girl that was jumping in his arms. She crashed into him but he kept standing. She buried her face in his neck and held him tightly to her. His arms circled around her waist where they felt good and familiar. Both of them were crying silent tears of joy.

Sirius and Charlie bumped shoulders, both seeming relieved they had figured out their problems. Apart from these two, everyone was staring at the odd couple with utter shock.

‘Are…are you two…’ Ron said, his vocabulary failing him.

‘Is this who you meant when you said you met someone else?’ Fred asked.

‘This is kind of disgusting and kind of sweet,’ Ginny observed.

Hermione sighed deeply. ‘Finally I won’t be stuck with this secret I never wanted to know.’

Harry nodded. ‘Now I know why I found you in the hallway at Hogwarts that one night. Boy am I glad I didn’t check you on the Marauders map later that evening.’

After what felt like an eternity, Alicia and Remus loosened their grip on the other. She looked up in his eyes and finally recognized the man she fell in love with.

‘I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out what I wanted. I…said so many things I shouldn’t have. I have forgiven you. I just hope you can forgive me,’ Alicia said breathless, ignoring everyone in the room.

Remus stroked some hair out of her face. ‘I have forgiven you too. I feel like a fool for the things I shouted yesterday. It was all so untrue. Can we…move past it?’

She beamed up at him as she pulled him close for another hug. ‘Yes please,’ she whisper-laughed.

With her eyes closed, she enjoyed being in Remus’ arms again. Then she felt another arm over her back.

‘Finally, Moony and Nessie are back together. Now stop making me feel like the referee in the middle,’ Sirius said as he hugged both of them.

All three laughed. ‘Sorry Padfoot. Also sorry that Charles bit you. He is very protective over me.’

He kissed her on her head. ‘Aren’t we all?’

Another moment passed between the three, but then Alicia really had to look up at all the other people present. Everyone was still in their seats, either eating or staring.

It was Arthur who cleared his throat and tried to fix the situation. ‘So, you two have been together before?’

‘Since school,’ Alicia said with a blush. She felt Remus’ hand on her back and suddenly it wasn’t all so terrifying anymore. She wasn’t alone anymore.

Molly got up from her seat and moved into the kitchen without another word. Alicia looked sadly after her and was afraid the kind witch wasn’t going to be so nice to her anymore. She knew not everyone was going to look past their age difference, and maybe it hit Molly harder because she had a son her age. Or maybe because she had also kissed two of her other sons.

‘Well, I can’t say it is too surprising,’ George said in the end, looking up at the repaired couple. ‘You were always looking for new challenges.’ He winked and returned to his food.

‘Oh please. Sometimes…I don’t know. I guess I could look past status and societies expectations when I looked for…love,’ Alicia said, sounding sure but uncomfortable.

‘Awwh,’ Ginny said while she leaned on her hand. ‘Well I mean why not right? They do match.’

‘They do,’ Charlie said with a huge grin. ‘I wish I could have told you that from the beginning, but you couldn’t hear it back then.’

Alicia rolled her eyes. ‘Yes, Charlie. I’ve been an idiot, alright? But hey, if I hadn’t been an idiot I wouldn’t have worked with you.’

‘Very true,’ he picked up his goblet, ‘to these two idiots!’

They all toasted with different levels of enthusiasm. Remus and Alicia couldn’t help awkwardly standing by and laughing.

Surprisingly, the conversation started again. About different topics than the both of them. Sirius released Charles, who seemed to have picked up that no one was hostile anymore. Sirius occupied himself with the dragon-dog while Charlie explained the story of how Alicia got a dragon as a pet. Hermione was set on changing the topic to whatever was available and had to settle with Quidditch. Arthur went into the kitchen to talk to his wife and the twins were joking around and making plans for their magical candys.

Within minutes, no one was paying attention to them anymore. Remus leaned closer to Alicia.

‘Do you still want to eat or go up for some alone time?’ he murmured in her ear.

His proximity to her made her feel warm inside. ‘Let’s go upstairs.’

The happy couple walked up the stairs, hand in hand.

* * *

At first it felt a bit awkward when Remus invited her to lay down next to him on his bed. They were fully clothed and she was sure neither of them had the intention of having sex straight away. She did lay down and he draped an arm around her, holding her close to him. They had cuddled like this many times when they were living together. Being back in his arms, smelling his familiar smell and seeing his familiar features gave her an overwhelming feeling of calmness.

‘It’s so strange,’ she said softly. He made a questioning sound. ‘Being here beside you…it almost feels like no time has passed at all.’

Remus stroked her arm. ‘Yes and no. I get what you mean, but I don’t think either of us will forget the time in the middle. It has a lot of impact on us. On the way our relationship will develop from here on.’

She nodded against his chest. The last rays of sunshine were streaming in through the windows, but most of the room was already dark. It was nothing like Remus’ house. There the sunlight was as plentiful as you could get in England. His family home was a house far away from any cities. It was at the edge of a village, with a lush forest and rolling green hills everywhere. When she first saw it, it reminded her of a fairy-tale house. Like the witches house…or in this case; werewolves. Remus had built a cage inside a cave nearby. He would go there every full moon. Because the place was so remote he never had trouble there with people accidentally finding him.

The interior of the house was old-fashioned and odd. Remus was never one for buying new furniture, so most of it was picked by his grandparents or parents. Since he had been the only person living there, one room was still exactly the same as his room had been when he attended school. Then at some point when he inherited the house he had moved to the master bedroom, but had done little to change the room. In the time Alicia had lived there she had changed the house in subtle ways. She had brought some old clothes to the attic, had painted some walls and repaired broken items. Also she loved to have flowers and plants around. The whole house had gotten that little extra that a woman brings to home décor.

‘I’m moving in here,’ Alicia said after a long silence had stretched between them. She looked up to see his eyes. ‘If you want me to, that is.’

He chuckled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. ‘Of course I want you to.’

‘Can Charles come in this room too?’ she asked, biting her lip. It was a bit manipulative, but she knew that usually helped to convince him to say yes.

Remus raised an eyebrow, but then realisation hit him. He laughed. ‘For a moment I thought you meant Charlie. Ha ha!’

Alicia laughed too. ‘Well obviously I named my pet after him. You should have seen his face! It still pisses him off. I love it.’

‘Yes, your pet dragon can come in here too,’ Remus assured her. ‘I still want to know how you got yourself one.’

She smiled and got up. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stretched. ‘I’ll tell you everything. About Charles, about the Triwizard Tournament I helped with, about the secret boyfriend in Romania…’

‘What?!’ he sat up so quickly he nearly toppled over. Alicia couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing.

‘Okay sorry I just had to! I know you are still wondering if I ever found someone in Romania. It was too easy.’ She continued laughing as she put her shoes on.

Remus got out of bed too. After she succeeded lacing up her boots she stood up and he was right in front of her. There was an amused smirk on his face. Alicia ran her thumb over his chin.

‘I missed that smirk. And no, Remus. There was never anyone else. I wouldn’t have admitted this before, but my head had always been full of you. I realise now that I missed you all that time. But I was too stubborn to admit it to myself.’

‘I know how stubborn you can be,’ he said with a low rough voice. His eyes went to her lips. She looked at him expectantly, and within a second he had decided to kiss her. His hands cupped her face and his lips found hers hungrily. She kissed him back with all the held back emotions she had had for all that time. It felt really good.

Alicia pulled back to catch her breath, but Remus wouldn’t have it. His grip on her tightened and he crashed his lips back to hers. He made a soft whining sound, like he was begging her for more time. She obliged, kissing him back passionately. That’s all they did for ten minutes, kissing each other to make up for lost time.

Eventually they broke apart. Alicia placed her head against his chest and kept him close in her arms. Remus seemed more than happy to hold her a bit longer. He laughed an airy laugh. ‘Please tell me this is not a dream.’

She smiled. ‘It’s not.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we friends again now? ^.^  
> Because I noticed that some of you comment weekly I want to do something for you. If this chapter gets 10 comments (from 10 different people) or more...I'll post 2 chapters next week! Oh and no one should murder me either :)   
> P.S. I've nearly written the entire story! One more chapter to go - or more if I decide the story needs it. Next week I'll update how many chapters it will be in total.


	12. Werewolves of London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! We did it! 10 comments (if I include my own but I'm more than happy to). Please enjoy these two wonderful chapters :D 
> 
> Also...I wrote the entire story and can finally tell you that there will be....thirty six chapters! So strap in and enjoy the ride.

At 11 a.m. on a Saturday morning in a quiet street of South Holloway, London, a girl appeared out of nowhere. She appeared next to a large oak tree, so that the canopy shielded her arrival from curious onlookers from windows of their homes.

There were some people in the street. A man was walking his dog while a mother tried to get two boys strapped in her car for soccer practice. A group of kids was cycling down the road further on. But none of them responded to the sudden appearance of the odd-looking girl.

For today Alicia had decided to wear muggle clothes. She had dark jeans with a white top and a trenchcoat as a jacket. It was summer, but it was also still London. Rain was never far away.

She stepped around the tree and followed the road for a bit. The street was a combination of newly build houses and old looking ones. The house she was looking for was an old one with dark bricks and big windows. She climbed the steps to the porch and rang the bell.

There was some stumbling and muffled voices in the house and then a woman in her fifties with dirty blonde hair up to her shoulders, big green eyes and comfortable house clothes opened the door. She had clearly woken up not too long ago.

At seeing her visitor, her eyes went big. ‘Alicia?’

‘Hi mom.’

* * *

This was the house she had grown up in. Everything looked familiar; from the family pictures on the wall to the fish tank, to the smell of lavender because her mom loved scented candles. The place was as much a combination of muggle and witch as it could get. There was a phone on a small table by the door, next to a quill with an ink bottle and some empty parchment. There was a fireplace with a bowl of floo powder but also a TV. In the garden her father grew mint and tomatoes, along with aconite and mandrakes.

However, as Alicia sat in her favourite armchair today, nothing felt familiar to her at all. Her parents were both in the room, looking anxious. Her father had decided to make tea but it had taken him twice as long as needed to get back from the kitchen. Her mother kept looking at Alicia with scrutinizing eyes. Once her father had finally returned they looked uncertain at their daughter.

‘Okay, I understand I haven’t been around much lately, but can you stop looking at me like I’m a stranger?’ Alicia asked her mother.

She blinked a couple of times. ‘Sorry dear. I just have to get used to the scars.’

The shirt she had decided on today was covering only half of her arms. The scars on her arms and the obvious one in her face were standing out like sore spots in this harmless environment.

‘Sorry I didn’t grow up to be a nice quiet banker like the both of you,’ Alicia said while rolling her eyes.

‘We never pushed you in any direction Alicia,’ her father said, ‘but you just had to choose the most dangerous one. I can’t even imagine why people would be working with dragons!’

Alicia narrowed her eyes and pasted a fake smile to her face. ‘You would if you had read my letters.’

Both of them were uneasy at this point. There was an awkward silence.

‘Anyway, I came here with a reason. I need you to go into hiding or leave the country. It’s getting dangerous out here for people who sympathize with muggles. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back and people are disappearing.’ She said it quickly and clearly, in the hope there would be no protest and she could get out of here quickly.

‘Into hiding? This isn’t the war, Alicia. Please,’ her father said with a laugh.

‘Hugo,’ her mother whispered. Clearly the message had landed better with her. ‘We should take this seriously.’

Her father laughed uncomfortably. ‘What are you saying Kate? That there is a war? It looks quiet out there to me.’

‘When is the last time you have been to Diagon Alley?’ Alicia interrupted. Her father looked up. ‘Because if you had been there, you would see the difference. People are scared. And with good reason.’

‘If it is true that… _he_ is back…then there will be a war, yes,’ Kate said with a little voice. Her eyes were starting to water. It was almost silly of Alicia to forget that her mother had lived through the last one. Her parents had already been together, but it had taken a long time for her father to realise what was happening around him. Her mother had been very protective.

‘I’m glad you see reason,’ Alicia stated unemotionally. ‘So you’ll be careful?’

Finally her mother looked her in the eyes. ‘All three of us should go. Maybe some time in France will be good.’

Alicia hid her face behind her cup of tea as she spoke. ‘No. I will be fighting in this one.’

There was a moment of silence before both of them started to speak. In the end her mother stood up rapidly, shutting Hugo up. ‘I forbid you to do that. It will only get you killed. You aren’t a soldier!’

‘I think you are forgetting something,’ Alicia said calmly. She put her empty cup on the table and stood up slowly. The boots she was wearing had a little heel, and it made her taller than her mother. ‘You cannot forbid me anything anymore. I left this house, I am my own person now. I will make the decisions regarding me. I came here to give you advice, which would be wise to follow. But if you want to be stubborn, be my guest.’

Her mother seemed shocked. ‘Alicia. Please don’t tell me you feel so distanced from us you don’t care about your family anymore.’

This did shock Alicia. She leaned back and looked from her baffled father to her hurt mother. She cast her eyes down. ‘Of course I care. That is why I am here. But you made it clear you don’t support any of the decisions I’ve made since I left school. First about the dragons, then about Remus, and now about the war. I understand you rather see me in safe places, but that is not who I am. This is who I am,’ she gestured to all the scars that were visible. ‘so you better accept that.’

Kate started crying. ‘Oh honey. Of course we can accept that. I just wish you were more careful.’ She stepped forward and hugged Alicia. After a moment she decided to hug back. ‘I am careful mom. I might not seem it, but I am. And I have people around me that have my back all the time. I’m not alone.’

‘Like your werewolf boyfriend that you ran away from?’ Her father chimed in. He didn’t sound accusing though.

Alicia sighed. ‘Yes, like him. We are together again.’

Her father seemed more troubled with the idea of a boyfriend than the war and the fact he was a werewolf combined. Maybe it was because it was the only thing he really understood. ‘He better takes good care of you. And I want to meet him too.’

Alicia chuckled. For a moment she imagined standing at their porch with her much older boyfriend, and the look on her father’s face. She had been honest about him mostly, but left out the part that he was her professor at Hogwarts. ‘Don’t worry dad. I’m sure about him.’

Her father hugged her too. It felt good to have these things talked through. Alicia left the house with a much better feeling than how she entered. Luckily they had listened and would be out of harm’s way.

One less thing to worry about.

* * *

Next thing to do was for Alicia to move out of her apartment. The landlady was sad to see her go, since she was so quiet and clean. Alicia didn’t have a lot of personal belongings to take with her. She had enchanted a shoulder bag to be bigger on the inside. Everything went in, and she and Charles left the place in style: with her riding on the back of the dragon. They took a couple of hours to just fly over the British country. Even though it was less than comfortable, Alicia loved every second of it.

Later that day they arrived at Grimmauld Place, what would be their home from now on. Alicia wondered how long it would last. Of course Sirius was tied to the place, as he was still a fugitive. The Ministry of Magic knew by now that he was an Animagus, so even walks as a dog were out of the question. A part of Alicia pitied that they couldn’t return to Remus’ house. She had loved the countryside and it would be great for Charles to be a dragon more often than a dog. But it wasn’t a concealed place like the Black family home, so it was less safe for Sirius.

Arthur opened the door for her. He was glad to see her again and led her up the stairs. He asked uncertainly whether she was moving in to her own room or with Remus. Equally uncertain, she said she hadn’t thought that through yet. She placed her stuff for now in Regulus’ old room and followed him back down. He was inquiring about the radio again.

In the dinner room were all the younger inhabitants of the house, together with Sirius. Molly was out to do groceries and Charlie and Remus had left for Order business. When she heard that news, she was a bit scared at the idea that those two would be spending the day together.

Around five p.m. Molly returned, her arms full with bags. Alicia offered to help, but she promptly told her not to worry about it and turned to the kitchen quickly. Alicia guessed she was banished from the kitchen from that moment on. A little later the other two returned too.

‘Hello Alicia,’ Remus greeted her warmly. He kissed her cheek which made her blush. The sudden silence in the room was a sign that they had all been watching and listening. This was not yet a normal thing, and it would take some time to fix that.

At dinner, everyone seemed quite glum. Sirius most of all, who was hating his life more every day. He stared at his food like it had offended him. Ron, Harry and Hermione had spent the day getting rid of pests in the house. Molly had given them enough to do, so they wouldn’t spend too much time asking questions about the Order. They seemed tired.

Arthur’s muggle radio was playing in the background. Suddenly, with a quick glance from Remus to Sirius, Alicia got an idea. It was time for a little prank.

No one was talking and the only sound in the room came from the radio. A new song started playing.

_In touch with the ground_ _  
I'm on the hunt, I'm after you  
Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd  
And I'm hungry like the wolf_

Despite the cheerful song by Duran Duran no one paid attention to it. The moment it was over, the next one started.

_I see the bad moon a-rising_ _  
I see trouble on the way  
I see earthquakes and lightnin'  
I see bad times today_

This earned a deep sigh. ‘Alright. Which of you two?’

Everyone looked up at Remus. His eyes were going from Sirius to Alicia. ‘Which of you two is enchanting the radio?’

_Well don't go around tonight_ _  
Well it's bound to take your life  
There's a bad moon on the rise, all right_

‘It’s a lovely song,’ Alicia commented, ‘Don’t you like it?’

At this point, Sirius caught up. ‘Yes, truly lovely. I have to say, muggles are good at making music.’

‘Is there a problem with the radio Remus?’ Arthur asked. He almost seemed to take it personal Remus wasn’t liking it.

Remus groaned. ‘First the song _hungry like the wolf,_ and then _bad moon rising_? That is too much coincidence.’

Now everyone understood. Harry started to laugh. ‘I should have thought of that. Do you take requests?’

‘Sure,’ Alicia and Sirius said simultaneously.

‘It is not fair to play jokes on his…sickness,’ Molly said annoyed.

Both Sirius and Alicia waved it off. ‘Oh don’t feed his feeling-sorry-for-himself attitude Molly. Moony needs to take a joke,’ Sirius said with a laugh. He looked at Alicia and winked.

_Well, at least I succeeded in making some of them laugh._

The song by Creedence Clearwater Revival stopped. Next up was _Dancing in the moonlight_ by _King Harvest._

‘Stop it,’ Remus said with his face in his hands. Alicia knew he was hiding his smile. She couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

‘Everybody here is out of sight. They don't _bark_ and they don't _bite_. They keep things loose, they keep things light. Everybody was dancing in the mooooonlight!’ Alicia sung along.

‘It’s you, isn’t it?’ Remus said. He tried very hard to keep a straight face.

‘Why? Do you have request?’ she asked with a wink.

‘I have to say, it is genius!’ Sirius laughed.

‘It’s quite enough now, Alicia!’ Molly said sternly.

Molly’s wrath was something Alicia didn’t want to feel. She grew small in her seat and stopped laughing.

‘Molly, I think that is a bit unfair dear,’ Arthur chimed in, hoping to stop the argument.

Remus chuckled. ‘Oh I’m used to jokes Molly. I was only half-serious when I asked them to stop.’

‘I’m full-serious,’ Sirius said proudly. Alicia tried to laugh but was afraid Molly would go off. At least Ginny, Fred, George and Harry laughed.

‘Okay I’ll stop,’ Alicia said quietly. Molly seemed pleased. The song continued for a little longer, and then Molly and Arthur went into the kitchen to clean up.

Everyone was looking at Alicia, hoping she wouldn’t stop. The song ended. Everyone waited. New music started.

_I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand_ _  
Walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain_

‘One more can’t hurt, right?’ Alicia said happily.

 _Aaoooooo_ __  
Werewolves of London  
Aaoooooo

At this point, everyone at the table laughed uncontrollably. Sirius had tears in his eyes. George had fallen from his chair and was rolling on the floor. Charlie slammed his hand down on the table. Alicia joined in, holding her stomach. Remus was covering his face again, but his shaking shoulders were saying enough.

‘You saved best for last!’ Ron said between fits of giggles.

‘Oh Nessie! I missed this!’ Fred said happily.

Obviously the music and the laughter were loud enough to be heard in the kitchen. Alicia got up and grabbed Remus’ arm over the table. ‘I guess we should go.’

In the middle of all the hysterical laughter, Alicia and Remus darted up the stairs like guilty teenagers. They had to muffle their laughter in the hall so they wouldn’t wake the portraits. With hands to their mouths, and the other holding on to the other person, they made their way to Remus’ room.

With the door closed and locked, they could make sounds again.

‘You little shit,’ Remus accused her while he was trying to stop giggling.

‘I’m sorry. But everyone looked in dire need of some humour. It worked…for most of them,’ she replied. With a final deep breath she had controlled her laughing fit. Her stomach and cheek muscles were hurting. She wiped a tear from her eye.

Without warning Remus had creeped up behind her and was now holding her arms pinned to her sides. His mouth went to her ear. ‘Do you think you can get away with that so easily?’

A shiver went from her ear all the way through her body. It lit a fire low in her abdomen.

‘I-I think so,’ she said with a small voice.

His nose rubbed against the top of her ear. Then she felt his wet lips too, touching her lightly. He hummed and it gave her goose bumps. ‘Well I don’t think so. I think I should get you back for that.’

A shuddering sigh escaped from her lips. Her legs started to feel unsteady, but his firm grip on her kept her standing. His fingers left her arms, his arms now snaking around her. He held her close to his chest, his mouth still to her ear. She dropped her head backwards on his shoulder and hummed happily.

Suddenly he bit her earlobe. He growled softly. This turned her on badly. The fire that was lit earlier burned brighter in her body. She felt a wetness between her legs.

‘Remus do you have any idea what you are doing to me?’ she whisper-pleaded. Her eyes rolled back in their sockets.

He chuckled darkly. One of his hands clasped around her breast and started massaging it. ‘I can take a guess,’ he whispered back. He continued to bite her ear and flick his tongue around the edge.

The other hand found her other breast and now both of them were being treated very nicely. The sensation in her breasts, combined with the feeling of his wet lips to her ear was taking a high toll on the poor girl. Her entire body was covered in goose bumps now and she was shaking on her legs. A breathy moan escaped her lips.

‘Do you want me, Alicia?’ Remus asked.

She smiled broadly. ‘Obviously.’

His hands left her breasts to pull her shirt over her head. Alicia helped in the process, but then turned around quickly so she could look him in the eye again. Her arms circled his neck and pulled him close to her. His hands rested on her hips for the moment, as his hungry eyes stared in hers.

‘Why are you so good at seducing me?’ Alicia asked with a smirk.

Remus shrugged. ‘Because looking at you is enough to make me hungry for you. I want you, so often, so badly.’

This answer was more than satisfactory for her. She kissed him roughly, forcing his lips apart with her tongue. His tongue was waiting for the opportunity and got into her mouth without hesitation. They both moaned desperately in the heated kiss. It turned Alicia on even more.

Remus his hands went from her hips to her ass, squeezing hard. It encouraged her to get even closer to him. The kiss went sloppier and needier. Her hands were in his hair, pulling him ever closer.

Then she pulled back within a second. He looked perplexed as he was suddenly not touching her anymore. She took the wand from her pocket and waved it at his shirt. It disappeared.

‘Damn it. You still haven’t taught me that spell,’ he said with a dark chuckle.

Alicia chuckled too as she put the wand away to do his trousers the old-fashioned way. ‘And I’m not going to.’

His trousers and pants were down and gone too, leaving him naked. She looked him up and down for a moment, noticing the new scars. There weren’t many new ones. He was mostly the same as she remembered.

Remus didn’t like the staring. He reached out for her and scooped her up in his arms. Then her back hit the soft blankets on the bed. He leaned over her as he undid the button of her jeans and pulled them down rapidly. He took a moment to run his fingers over the fabric of her knickers before he pulled them away too. Alicia decided to get rid of her bra herself.

Remus crawled over her on all fours, his figure a dark silhouette against the illuminated walls. He hovered over her for a second, that mischievous smirk back on his lips. It was enough to drive Alicia wild.

‘Come here,’ she groaned as she reached up to grab his face. She kissed him and in doing so pulled him down with her. Her legs circled his hips, forcing him down there too. He allowed her to do so, and then she felt his hard cock rub against her belly. She moaned in his open mouth as she arched her hips so his cock would be touching her clit.

Remus understood what she wanted and started grinding himself against her. The feeling was wonderful and very enticing. She gasped and moaned happily as he continued to pleasure her.

‘Do you want me Nessie?’ he asked again.

Alicia groaned. ‘Stop asking that. Of course I want you, you bloody werewolf!’ She didn’t allow him to react. She pushed him around so she was on top of him. Her legs were straddling him and she started to rock her hips. ‘I want you. As often and as badly as you want me,’ she assured him. Then she placed his cock to her opening and pushed down. Both of them moaned loudly as he entered her vagina.

‘Fuck…Alicia,’ he moaned as she started to rock herself back and forth. She couldn’t go very fast, but for now this pace was more than enough. His hands were on her hips, helping her to find a rhythm. She leaned forward so he could reach her nipples with his tongue. She held one hand to the back of his head to urge him to lick her. Alicia could feel her excitement rising.

Remus had decided it wasn’t going fast enough. In his frustration he threw her on her back and was on top of her in seconds. She looked a bit dazed when he pushed himself inside her again.

‘Oh…yes!’ she screamed out as he got inside of her fully. Remus kissed her and fucked her at the same time. Their movements were getting more erratic. ‘Remus…baby…I…’

‘Yes Nessie I’m going to come too,’ he whispered back. She looked him in the eyes when his climax hit him. He bit his lip as he felt himself come inside her. Unfortunately he had stopped before she had reached her climax, but that was fine. She enjoyed seeing him like this almost as much as tumbling over that edge herself.

‘Oh my…that felt good,’ he said breathlessly. He pulled himself out and cleaned up. Alicia picked up the covers and threw them over the two of them. Remus laid there, staring at the canopy. He was still coming back from his orgasm. Alicia curled up beside him and kissed his cheek.

‘Satisfied about my punishment?’ Alicia said with a chuckle. Remus laughed at this and looked at her.

‘Not quite,’ he told her.

She was about to ask him what he meant, but she didn’t get the chance. He dived under the covers.

‘ReMUS,’ she exclaimed as there was suddenly a tongue licking her pussy. She could hear him chuckle but he didn’t stop. His tongue was flicking over her clit quickly. Then he sucked, and then he licked. Both actions were driving her mad.

‘Oh…’ was all she could utter. She looked down at the blanket covering her werewolf boyfriend who had his head between her thighs and the sight of that combined with the feeling of his tongue flicking her clit was finally enough to throw her over that edge. She clasped her legs together around his head and yelled it out.

Remus re-appeared with a satisfied look on his face. He wiped his lips and kissed her. ‘Now I’m satisfied.’

She was still gasping for breath as he cuddled up next to her. She looked at him and couldn’t help laughing. ‘You ridiculous man. What did I do to deserve you?’

He stroked her cheek softly. ‘I was wondering the same thing about you.’

They kissed and hugged each other close. For some time the only sound in the room was the crackling of the fireplace. The curtains were drawn and it was getting dark. Alicia listened to the sound of his heart, which was still trying to slow down after their exercise. Things were feeling good.

‘Was there any reason you had to clarify what I am during sex?’ Remus asked amused.

‘You mean the ‘bloody werewolf’ thing?’ she asked. He nodded. ‘Yes, there was a reason. You often ask me whether I want you. First I thought it was a kinky thing. But the more you say it, the more it sounds like you really aren’t sure. Like I have to consider it every single time. So I clarified that even during sex, I’m totally fine with what you are. And in the future you don’t have to ask me anymore, unless it _is_ a kinky thing.’

Remus chuckled. ‘Alright, you are on to me. I have to admit, to many people the idea of mating with a half-breed is disgusting. Or so some of them told me over the years. I think I grew up with the idea that no one would ever want me in that way. And even though we’ve had sex before and I know you can look past my disease…the idea is often still in my head.’

Alicia propped herself up on one arm. ‘Don’t worry. I love myself a furry half-breed.’

Remus laughed suddenly and very loudly. ‘Merlin’s beard you are so weird.’

‘What did you say?’ she challenged as she poked his side.

He recoiled. ‘No, Alicia. Stop it,’ he warned. Her eyes narrowed as she started tickling his side.

‘Alicia! I said NO!’

‘I heard you.’

They ended up tickle-wrestling for ten minutes before Alicia was so out of breath she called a truce. At this point she was laying across his chest.

‘Hey Remus?’ she said with her face partially obscured by the mattress.

He looked down with a happy expression on his face. ‘Yes darling?’

‘I didn’t leave because of your furry little problem. And I’m never going to leave you again. You are stuck with me now.’

His eyes became watery. He pulled her back to him so they could hold each other close. ‘I love you,’ he told her.

She kissed him. ‘I love you too.’


	13. Owl post

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want you to know I'm incredibly proud of that first sentence. Comment if you understant the reference :)

Remus woke the next morning because of a mysterious ticking noise. He looked around the room with sleepy eyes, but saw nothing. He got up while being careful not to wake the girl sleeping next to him. He concentrated on the sound and was sure the noise came from the window. Pulling the curtains aside slightly, he saw the source.

An owl was tapping against the glass, a letter in his beak. Remus opened the door slightly and took the letter. He looked around to see if the sound or the light coming through the split in the curtains had awakened Alicia. She made a little mumbling sound and turned in bed. Apparently not.

Remus looked down at the elegant letter in his hands. In cursive handwriting it said _Miss Alicia Doreen._ He flipped it over and saw a familiar wax seal. It was the Hogwarts one. For an instant he thought it was the familiar letter with the list of books students had to get before they started a new school year. He nearly laughed out loud at how stupid that was. She hadn’t been a student for as long as he hadn’t been a teacher.

 _Later,_ he told himself as he placed the letter on the bedside table. He crawled back into bed, feeling how cold his feet had become on the stone floor. Alicia stirred again but didn’t wake. He kissed her temple and snuggled in under the blankets. Remus hadn’t been a good sleeper, ever. He suffered from insomnia from time to time. But today it took him only minutes to fall back asleep. Whenever Alicia was next to him it was much easier to feel calm and peaceful.

An hour later both of them woke up. Alicia yawned and stretched before she looked over at Remus. Instantly she was smiling.

‘Mornin’,’ she said with a sleep induced voice. It had been a while since he had the pleasure of waking up with her, it felt as wonderful as it did back then.

‘Morning beautiful. How did you sleep?’ Remus asked her while stroking her hair. It was tangled more than usual. Probably because of their rough evening activities.

She stretched again but in this movement grabbed him in her arms and held him close to her. ‘Good. But this time the waking up part is even better.’

It had been a while since he had counted himself this happy. There were two mayor events in the last years that had made him happy beyond belief. The first was meeting Alicia and the second was regaining Sirius as his friend. He could still vividly remember the years he had spent alone, convinced he would forever stay that way. Convinced he deserved to be alone, because of the danger he imposed to others. That version of him couldn’t hope to dream to one day have Padfoot back and the most extraordinary girl at his side telling him she loved him.

‘We should get some breakfast. I can smell the toast,’ Remus announced, using his heightened senses to sniff the kitchen fumes. Alicia exclaimed happily she would kill for some good toast when Remus’ eyes landed on the letter.

‘Oh by the way, this came for you,’ he said holding out the letter. ‘Are you doing some extra education this year?’ he joked.

Alicia’s brow furrowed as she took the letter from him. ‘Hogwarts? That’s…odd.’

Remus turned to his closet to get dressed. Alicia had opened the envelop and was reading. He had his back turned for a minute, and when he was done and looked back at her, she had an astonished look on her face.

‘What?’ Remus asked, curiosity taking over.

She blinked heavily and stared at him like he had woken her from a trance. Then she hurried to put her clothes from yesterday on – her stuff was not in this room – with the letter scrunched in her hand.

‘What is it?’ Remus asked again. He closed in to her as she tried to pull her heels on without falling over.

‘It seems we have company at breakfast,’ she said enigmatically. Once both of them got dressed they pulled the door open and stepped into the hall at the same time. Alicia stopped in her tracks, causing Remus to bump into her.

‘Hi,’ Alicia said quietly.

Remus looked over her shoulder to see Harry, Ron and Hermione standing there. They had similar looks of shock and a bit of disgust on their faces. Remus remembered with a blush that not everyone was familiar with the idea of them having sex.

‘Morning,’ Harry said equally uncertain as Alicia had sounded.

‘Let’s uhh…get breakfast,’ she said quickly before she grabbed Remus’ arm and pulled him to the stairs. He looked up to smile at his three former students, but he knew they weren’t seeing him the same way anymore.

‘Well that was bound to happen sooner or later,’ Remus tried to assure Alicia, who was also blushing. Alicia turned to give him a look. ‘I really hoped it hadn’t. Definitely now.’

‘What do you mean? Is it something to do with that letter?’ he asked, once more unhappy she wasn’t sharing the information with him. ‘Alicia can you please just tell me who send you that letter?’

They reached the dining room, where Alicia pushed the door open. The first thing that Remus noticed was the new arrival at the table. Between all the young faces the very old wizard with the long white beard and purple robes stood out like a sore thumb.

‘Hello Alicia. Remus,’ Dumbledore said with a smile.

‘Hello Dumbledore,’ Alicia replied without any surprise that he was there. ‘We should discuss this letter of yours.’

* * *

After breakfast everyone had cleared the room so Alicia and Dumbledore could talk in private. They were sitting in the armchairs by the fireplace. Alicia found it very hard to process everything he had written.

‘I…I really don’t know what your motivation is for this request,’ Alicia said as she stared in the flames. She had a mug of tea in her hands and was ticking her fingernails against it.

Dumbledore seemed unfazed by her nervous behaviour. ‘I’ll start at the beginning then. During the last Order meeting, you have shown your resourcefulness. You adapt quickly in difficult situations and make yourself stand out in a unique way. Those are very useful qualities for this Order mission I’m assigning you.’

Alicia laughed coldly. ‘In the letter at least it seemed like I have a choice. But I don’t, do I?’

‘I cannot make you do anything you don’t want to. But don’t you see the logic of it? The more I considered it, the more it made sense to me. You fit in that place perfectly,’ Dumbledore told her.

She bit her lip and smiled at the same time. She felt very nervous and wasn’t sure this was what she had hoped for. After she had made up with Remus, she had hoped to stay here and do some small spying missions, or keep the owl training up in the shop she worked at. She had thought that would be enough. It seemed safe that way; not the soldier at the front line but the spy in the shadows. But now Dumbledore asked her to jump right in the spotlight.

‘You want me to become the Care of Magical Creatures Professor,’ she confirmed to herself. ‘You want me to show myself. You want to show the ministry you have one more ally close to you to protect you.’

‘Oh no,’ he said, leaning forward, ‘I don’t need protection, thank you Alicia. Also I don’t want you to associate yourself too much with me. I want you to play the other side if needed.’

‘What?’

He looked thoughtful. ‘A witch from Fudge’s direct circle is going to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts this year. I could not stop this from happening,’ he told her. Something about his displeasure and secretive voice told her he had not shared this information yet with others. It sounded very ominous that there was something _he_ couldn’t stop from happening. ‘And I’m sure she is going to have some strong opinions and ideas about how the school should be run. Things are going to change this year.’

Alicia rubbed her temple. ‘And how do I fit in that picture?’

He smiled. ‘Many ways. But the most important thing I have to ask of you, is to stay. Even when she is trying to fire teachers. You must make sure that you stay.’

‘Since when can teachers fire other teachers? I should have asked Remus to fire Snape,’ she said baffled.

He didn’t really seem to think this funny. ‘I have a feeling she won’t be content with being a professor. Remember, the ministry is behind this woman. Whatever she thinks, will be backed by Fudge. So do you understand what I ask of you? You have to make her like you. Make her feel like you would support her and not me. Say whatever she needs to hear.’

At this point Alicia had sunk deep in the chair, her knees drawn up and her hands over her face. She exhaled deeply. ‘Great. This is just great. And why, may I ask, am I so important to keep around? And where is Hagrid in all of this, anyway? You aren’t firing him for me. If you do that I will burn your school to the ground.’

Dumbledore chuckled, not seeming too threatened by her. ‘Hagrid is away on Order business. I assume it will take him some time to return. But Hagrid is already known as a fond supporter of me. No one would believe it if he suddenly turned on me. Don’t worry about him, he will be fine. And when he comes back you can split the classes. To answer your other question; I have another task for you this schoolyear. Something very important.’

She looked at him again. ‘Now we are cutting to the chase. What is it?’

Without pause, and with a detached voice, he replied: ‘I need you to get Harry to tell you everything he is experiencing. And I need you to tell me everything. He needs to trust you completely.’

This was the hardest thing he had asked of her. She had to gain someone’s trust, only to tell all his secrets behind his back? She never wanted to be that person. She usually stayed away from drama…or well…drama from others. She wasn’t one to gossip.

‘I hate that idea,’ she told him through gritted teeth. ‘I hate it even more than kissing the ass of some ministry witch.’

He nodded. ‘I know. What I ask is not simple, and not without harm. But you came back to join the Order, and this is the task I am appointing you. You can still refuse me and return to Romania. The choice is yours.’

She turned her face away. She knew he was manipulating her. Of course he made it sound like the other option was running away from her problems. But she could take Remus with her this time. Maybe this time he would listen.

She sighed. He would. He would have listened. If it wasn’t for Sirius.

‘Alright, I’ll do it,’ she told her new employer.

He clapped his hands together. ‘Excellent. Oh and I think it is better to keep this quiet until you arrive at Hogwarts. I understand you will want to tell Remus and that is fine. But apart from him I would prefer if you kept it secret. The less people know you were assigned by me, the better. From the moment you step in the castle, I need you to be cold and distant towards me. Can you do that?’

She looked him deep in his small eyes and smiled cynically. ‘Oh that won’t be a problem.’

* * *

All the happiness Remus had felt that very morning seemed to wither around him. He was staring at the fireplace with a hand covering his mouth. A tear slipped from the corner of his eye. He felt partially stupid for overreacting like this, but he couldn’t help himself.

‘R-Remus?’ her soft voice pierced through his thoughts. He closed his eyes which made the tear drop over his cheek and down his shirt. ‘Remus why are you crying?’

He took a shuddering breath and tried to smile. ‘I-I don’t know. I’m overreacting.’

Alicia got up from her chair and went over to sit on the armrest of his. One hand rubbed his back like he was a child that needed soothing after he cut his finger. He felt so stupid.

‘You aren’t one for overreacting. I’m not sure what part you are reacting to. It’s a lot to take in for me too but…’ she stopped as she noticed he was not meeting her eye.

He tried to talk, but his stupid trembling voice kept breaking him off. He cleared his throat and succeeded at the third attempt. ‘I’ve only just gotten you back by my side. And here comes Dumbledore, taking you away again.’ His voice kept breaking into whispers. Ashamed, he dropped his face in his hand. ‘I can’t…lose you again.’

Now that she finally understood his distress, Alicia knew better how to handle it. She moved to sit on the floor in front of him and took his hands in hers, so he couldn’t hide his face any longer. It took a little moment for him to meet her eye. He felt so shameful.

‘Remus, my dear Moony. Listen to me,’ Alicia started with a kind expression to her face. Even with the rough look of a weathered warrior, she could still be soft and sweet. Or so Remus thought. ‘I have to take this job. It’s for the Order and all that, but there is at least one part in Dumbledore’s story I agree with. Harry needs someone close that he can talk too. Now, I am not that person yet. But I hope to become it. I hope that he will learn to trust me so I can share his burden. So that is my reason to go to Hogwarts.’

Remus stifled his tears and nodded, still unable to speak.

‘As for you and me…don’t Hogwarts Professors have the privilege of using the Floo Network privately? You can visit anytime you want,’ Alicia said with a smile.

Softly, Remus pulled his hands out of hers. He scratched the back of his neck. ‘If the ministry is involved at Hogwarts, I won’t be very welcome anymore.’

‘Well then you only enter my office and private chambers. I have the right to slam the door in anyone’s face when it concerns my privacy. Besides, who is going to tell me I can’t be with you? No one has that authority anymore.’ She could see that Remus was coming around to the idea. She leaned on the armrests to press a kiss to his lips. Remus welcomed her fondly.

‘Remus John Lupin, I promise you won’t lose me again,’ she whispered only inches away from his lips. Remus opened his eyes and saw her determination. ‘I promise.’

‘Okay,’ he whispered while he pulled her into his lap. She sat sideways as she hugged him tightly. Remus just hoped they would still have enough moments like this. Because this is what made him happy. And it was what made her happy. That was all that mattered.

‘I’m sorry for being such a mess,’ Remus said in the end with a little chuckle. Alicia chuckled too. ‘I’m a mess too, remember? Messes united,’ she joked.

Remus remembered a situation very similar to this, when she was the one that needed comforting. It had been his last day at Hogwarts.

‘Alicia Doreen is going to be a professor,’ Remus said with a proud smile once he had calmed himself. ‘I can imagine it easily. Teaching third-years about bowtruckles and showing off your dragon knowledge to sixth-years. Keeping the legend of Miss Nessie alive. Probably stopping some smugglers of occamy eggs in the weekend. You know, I think it will really suit you.’

She smiled down at him with a radiant smile. ‘Maybe it won’t be so bad. The classes will be fun. I get to take care of creatures myself outside of classes and can rebuild my bond with the centaur clan. I will just have to swallow all the shit the ministry witch is going to throw my way, but I can handle that. I took Snivellus his shit too after he started bulling me. I am a wonderful actress when it comes to pretending I give a damn.’

Remus laughed. ‘I’m sure you will do fine. Besides, how bad can one witch be, anyway?’

* * *

The day after that Harry needed to go to the Ministry of Magic for his hearing. Dementors had attacked him and his cousin, and he had cast the Patronus charm to protect them. However, the ministry threatened to expel him from Hogwarts now. Alicia and Remus got up early so they could see him before he had to leave. Arthur, Molly, Sirius and Tonks were already sitting downstairs.

Alicia started a light conversation with Tonks to pass the time. When Harry came down, he looked shifty. His eyes were unfocused and his hair more tousled than usual. They all talked in hushed tones, trying to reassure Harry it would be fine. Once he and Arthur left, there was an awkward silence in the group.

‘Molly,’ Alicia said, but before she could finish that thought Molly was back in the kitchen, ignoring Alicia like she had done for a couple of days now. The younger witch sighed.

‘Did you break something too?’ Tonks asked her, probably a means to cheer her up. ‘I broke some plates and now I’m banished from the kitchen.’

Alicia gave her a small smile. ‘No. It’s because Molly doesn’t approve of Remus and me. At least I think that’s it.’

Tonks looked a bit startled at that. ‘Blimey! I didn’t know that! But uh…cool…I guess.’ She looked rather uncomfortable before she made an excuse and left the room.

‘One more that doesn’t approve, I guess,’ Alicia sighed as she leaned her face on her hands.

Sirius laughed darkly. ‘I hardly think that’s it. But it’s not important. What do you think will happen at the hearing, Remus?’

Remus shrugged. ‘If Dumbledore shows up he has a good chance. But I have no idea what they will throw at him. Let’s just hope for the best.’

‘It’s all ridiculous,’ Alicia chimed in. ‘The hearing, the disbelief about Voldemort’s return.’

Sirius looked confused. ‘I thought you weren’t saying his name.’

‘I thought that now I’m fighting him, I might as well call him what he is,’ she said stonily.

Later that day Harry returned and luckily he was cleared of all charges. Everyone was excited by the news, only Sirius seemed to be faking his smile. Alicia could guess why, and it wasn’t a good thing. She would talk to him later.

During the happiness Alicia went over to Arthur to ask him something. He seemed delighted at the idea and started up the plan she had. After lunch, he and Molly left the house. They were both in need of some fresh air and a bit of sunlight, after all that time in the gloomy house.

When they were gone, Alicia didn’t waste a minute. She dove into the kitchen and started assembling pans, cooking pots and ingredients.

‘What are you doing, if I might ask?’ Remus asked as he leaned in the doorway. Alicia looked like a happy woman from one of the kitchen commercials, only she was using magic to make everything float around. First she made sure everything from the lunch was cleaned and then she set to work.

‘I am making dinner,’ Alicia announced. ‘Molly deserves a break and besides, I’m an awesome cook.’

Remus laughed. ‘You didn’t really like cooking, the way I remember it.’

She turned around and bit her lip. The sight was enticing for him. ‘Granted; I don’t. But I’ve been looking up this wonderful recipe that Molly just _has_ to love! I’ll clean everything afterwards and even prepare desert. I hope it will swing her in a more positive direction. She liked me once.’

‘And then I ruined it,’ he said with a chuckle. Both of them knew he didn’t mean it. She flicked her wrist and waved him out. ‘Take your self-pity elsewhere Moony. I’m busy.’

‘Yes Ma’am.’

When Molly and Arthur returned, everyone was helping to set the table. Most was in its place as the big platters started to hover over the table towards their spot. Molly, looking at all this with great astonishment, almost started to cry.

‘I can’t believe it! Are my children finally helping me out with cooking?’ she said as she looked towards the kitchen. Right at that moment, Alicia stepped out, wearing the floral apron. There was some grease on her fingers but otherwise she looked perfectly competent in her task.

‘Ah! You are here. Good, then we can get started!’ Alicia said happily as she enchanted the goblets around the table to be filled. ‘For tonight we have a variety of roast, potatoes, meat pies and grilled vegetables. And desert will follow! Bon appetit!’

‘It looks great Alicia,’ Arthur said happily as he sat down at his spot.

‘I even want to try the vegetables!’ George exclaimed as he helped himself to the dish.

‘It’s wonderful dear,’ Remus said proudly.

Molly did not miss a single interaction. From her family completely accepting their new cook to Remus giving her a sweet name. She stood there for a moment, not sure what to do. Alicia stepped over to her.

‘Molly, you looked like you could use a break. You don’t have to do all the cooking by yourself. Ask me for help if you need it. I will clean everything and put it all back in its place afterwards. Please, won’t you sit?’ Alicia pulled a chair back for her next to her husband.

Ms Weasley seemed to consider her options, but since everyone was enjoying the food there was no reason for her to throw a fit. She sat down quietly and started filling her plate.

Conversation was good at dinner. Everyone was still happy about Harry’s verdict, and now they had a good meal to add to it too. Alicia knew she wasn’t as good as Molly, but she hoped to be good enough to earn some trust back. They said the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Maybe that worked out for Alicia tonight as well.

Molly was rather quiet during the meal, but she did have some conversations with Arthur and Sirius. With a flick of Alicia’s wand, the empty plates disappeared and a huge cherry pie appeared in the middle.

‘Next time,’ Alicia started with a quick glance at Molly, ‘I’ll make something healthier. But today we are celebrating. So, who wants a slice?’

* * *

Alicia ended up cleaning the kitchen by hand. She wanted everything to be done right, and so she inspected that everything was back in its right place. She was humming a song to herself, when she heard a throat being cleared behind her.

She looked up to see Molly Weasley. She was looking nervous, but also still stern. Alicia gestured around her. ‘Is it okay?’

‘I appreciate what you are doing,’ she started, then sighed as she continued. ‘But this does not undo what you did.’

Alicia placed the towel on the counter and stepped closer. ‘Can you please tell me what exactly you mean?’

This didn’t seem like the right question. Molly crossed her arms. ‘How can you ask me that? I don’t understand why everyone thinks it’s so normal to be romantically involved with a man twice your age!’

Alicia closed her eyes for a second. At least she knew for sure now what the issue was. ‘Look, I understand you don’t approve. I never thought that everyone would. But I hope you also understand that we made our decision. Remus and I are happy…and in love. I can help you cook and clean, but I’m not going to give that up because you don’t like it. I’m sorry.’

Her face grew red. ‘In love? You are hardly out of school yet. You don’t know what love is yet. I also don’t appreciate hearing that you…seduced two of my sons, while you were already involved with…him! Don’t you understand how _wrong_ that is?’

She held her hands up in defence. ‘I never ‘seduced’ your sons. It just sort of happened… accidentally. But they are moving on. Everyone is moving on. I get that it isn’t very ethical to start a relationship with a professor…but we are not at school anymore. We are two adults, making this decision.’

Molly huffed again, seeing this was going nowhere. ‘I will not agree with you.’

Alicia stepped even closer, gaining a little height over the other witch. ‘And I will not budge.’

‘Fine then. Fine. I get that we are both living in this house. So I will start to…speak with you again. But don’t expect a warm welcome back,’ Molly concluded.

Alicia nodded. ‘I can live with that.’

It was far from ideal, but at least Alicia had defused the bomb. She dived in the bed next to Remus, feeling more tired than a day working with dragons had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first I felt like it was weird to have a nineteen-year-old as a professor. But then again, Dumbledore is known for not caring about the competence of teachers, isn't he?


	14. 1st of September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another chapter.

There was a big commotion in the house when the real Hogwarts letters arrived for all the students. Hermione had been made a prefect, which surprised no one. Everyone congratulated her with a knowing smile. The real surprise was that Ron was also prefect. And not Harry.

Alicia learned all this when they threw a little party. A banner was hanging from the ceiling, saying CONGRATULATIONS HERMIONE AND RON HOGWARTS PREFECTS. Ron had gotten a new broom as a gift and he was happily showing it to everyone.

It wasn’t hard to notice that Harry was sour about this. He had probably expected to be a prefect himself, not his best friend. Everyone seemed to walk on eggshells around him that evening. Alicia was lounging next to Remus and Sirius, with Harry, Hermione and Ginny in close proximity.

‘Were you ever a prefect, Sirius?’ Ginny asked him.

Sirius barked a laugh. ‘I would be the last person they made prefect. James and me were too busy making trouble. No, it was good boy Remus here that got the badge.’

Alicia looked up at Remus. ‘You never told me you were a prefect.’ Remus nodded and smiled, his mind probably back at his schooldays. ‘Nerd,’ Alicia concluded.

Remus chuckled. ‘I think Dumbledore made me prefect with the idea to keep my friends in check. I can say I failed terribly.’

‘And you Alicia?’ Ginny asked. ‘I didn’t think you were…but I can’t remember.’

Alicia chuckled to herself and looked up at Harry. He seemed a bit happier now, maybe because Sirius and his father hadn’t been prefects either. ‘I think some people cause too much trouble to be considered,’ she said with a wink to Harry. He smiled a weak smile back at her.

The conversation continued around them and Alicia took the opportunity to sit next to Harry on a bench that was shoved against the wall.

‘I get that you aren’t happy about it now,’ Alicia started, waving around at the celebration. ‘But trust me. Being a prefect is more of a burden than something to celebrate. They get so many responsibilities. You have to tell other students to get back to bed and such. Where would one find the time to do fun stuff, eh?’

Harry wasn’t looking at her. ‘Yeah, sure. I just…I didn’t expect… _this.’_

It was obvious to her what he meant: his two best friends would be busy with meetings and patrol now, while he would be left behind.

‘Yeah, I think no one really did,’ Alicia said while taking a sip from her drink. ‘But it can be an opportunity too.’

‘For what?’ he asked, suddenly interested.

Alicia shrugged. ‘Well, I’m not saying you should abandon your friends…but if you have more time without them maybe you could get closer with others. Or find new friends. It might shock you, but there are more than just Gryffindors in Hogwarts.’ She whispered secretly at the end.

At least it made him chuckle. ‘I know. Who knows…maybe. I guess I’m just anxious to go back to school. I miss Quidditch, and my friends, and the castle itself.’

Alicia leaned her head back. ‘Now that I can understand. No matter who you are or how old you are…Hogwarts will always be home.’

‘Exactly,’ Harry whispered with a distant look in his eyes. His lips curled up in a smile. ‘Uhm, I am going to get some food.’

He left her there on the couch. Harry was not feeling well. He was having trouble adjusting to the new world he suddenly found himself in. And he still had no idea what that new world was going to throw at him. It made Alicia sad to think so much was going to change. While she had been at Hogwarts, not a lot had happened. Apart from Professor Quirrell being a carrier of Voldemort’s soul and the Chamber of Secrets being opened. But she hadn’t been personally involved. All of it had been distant. Only her last year had been _really_ eventful.

She sighed and looked around. Both Remus and Sirius had disappeared. She got up to look for them.

* * *

‘There you are,’ Alicia said as she poked her head around the door. They were both in the room that was reserved for Buckbeak. The hippogriff was eating ferrets that Sirius was throwing to him. Remus had kept his distance, leaning against the wall near the door.

‘Never knew you would be one to abandon a party, Padfoot,’ Alicia joked as she closed the door and leaned close to Remus. Sirius only replied by a grunt. Alicia gave Remus a look, who shrugged.

‘How…how are you?’ Alicia asked him.

Sirius looked up as if he was uncertain the question was meant for him. ‘Dandy. Why do you ask?’

‘I get that you want a break from this house, but you must understand how dangerous that is,’ Alicia said softly.

He laughed bitterly and turned to give her a nasty look. ‘Oh everyone thinks I don’t _know_ that. Everyone assumes I’m an idiot. But thank you for telling me again Alicia. You should tell me again tomorrow, I might have already forgotten with my tiny brain.’

She wasn’t taking his shit. She strode over, jerked the ferrets from his hands and threw everything at the hippogriff. Then she pushed him until he was sitting in a lone chair.

‘Now listen here you little shit,’ she said while leaning over him. ‘You have been rude, sarcastic and overall unpleasant for a while now. Every time someone tries to help you, you push them away. The closer they can get, the harder you shove. It’s childish and unfair. So stop it,’ she drew out the last three words to give them more impact.

Sirius just stared at her. Remus shuffled uncomfortably behind her.

‘Do you think you are the only one that is having a hard time? How about him!’ she pointed behind her at Remus.

‘Me?’

‘Moony?’

‘Yes Moony! Why is it so bad for you to be stuck in a house when you are surrounded by friends, including your best-currently-living-friend? And your godson? You are treating them like trash.’

‘Because I hate this house!’ Sirius barked.

‘I KNOW!’ Alicia exclaimed. ‘Everyone knows! But it’s just a goddamn house! You mother isn’t in it anymore…as long as no one shouts near the portraits. In this house are the Weasleys, and Remus and Harry and me. Now is that something you hate too? Do you hate us?’

‘Of course not,’ Sirius said while he waved her away with his hand. ‘That is not the point. Soon this place will be empty again, when they go back to school. And when you two move out together.’

Alicia straightened her back. ‘Aha. I think we found it.’

‘Found what?’ Remus asked, now stepping closer. ‘Alicia, maybe you are a bit harsh…’

‘You don’t hate the house being full. You hate the prospect of being left alone in here,’ Alicia said.

A silence stretched between the three. Sirius wasn’t looking at them. He slumped in the chair. His silence confirmed her theory.

‘That is why you weren’t happy when Harry was cleared in the hearing. A part of you hoped he would stay here, so it would feel like you had James back,’ she continued ruthlessly.

She didn’t think it was possible, but she had done it. She had made Sirius cry.

‘Is that so bad?’ he whispered so silently they had nearly missed it.

Remus sighed and got on his knees in front of his friend. ‘Sirius…I understand. I miss him too. I have missed them both all these years. And seeing Harry is…confusing. I keep seeing Lily’s face when he looks at me. But you can’t make the mistake that Harry _is_ James. We owe it to him to treat him like himself.’

‘Don’t think I don’t know that,’ he grumbled, wiping angrily at his tears. ‘I just don’t want to be alone in this hellhole.’

‘You won’t be,’ Remus assured him.

Sirius laughed sarcastically. ‘Aren’t you two moving back to your own house then?’

‘I’m moving out, but Remus will stay with you.’

Both of them looked up at the witch. Sirius seemed confused first, but then scared. ‘You aren’t fighting again, are you? I can’t take more of your drama.’

‘I have been offered a job as professor at Hogwarts. I’m moving to Scotland in a week, but Remus will stay here,’ Alicia explained.

‘I will?’ Remus said confused and amused at the same time.

‘Obviously. Neither of you are good at being alone,’ she stated.

‘A…a professor?’ Sirius asked, bewildered.

Remus looked from Sirius to Alicia. ‘Are you sure you want to tell him?’

Alicia smiled. ‘Yeah. Dumbledore could guess I was going to tell you, but he didn’t know me well enough to know I wanted to tell Sirius too. Besides, in a week everyone will know.’

‘But this will not tear you two apart, right?’ Sirius asked, still looking scared.

It was hard to resist, so Alicia didn’t. She threw her arms around Sirius. ‘Very sweet of you to be so concerned. But no, I will not allow that to happen.’ She winked at Remus. ‘You guys are free to visit me all the time. Private chambers should be good enough to hide the escapee of Azkaban.’

Remus rubbed his temple. ‘Are you sure? It is an extra risk.’

‘One I am willing to take,’ Sirius said as he rubbed Alicia’s arms quickly. She released him. ‘If only it is to see the castle again.’

‘I don’t see the problem. No one monitors the Floo Network. And professors have the privilege to use it whenever they want. I’ll stock up on powder and then you guys can come over whenever you miss me, or want a different view.’

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. ‘A good view?’

Both of them hit him. ‘I meant through the windows, pervert.’

The one looked to the other, and within a second all three were laughing.

‘So, did we ease your suffering a bit?’ Alicia asked as she looked at Sirius.

He sighed deeply. ‘Of course you do. What would I do without you two?’

‘Die, probably,’ Alicia said jokingly, but the smile he showed her was deeper than a joke. Alicia suddenly got the idea that that was exactly what he would do.

Remus got back on his feet. ‘Well, I think we should go back down again. I’m sure there was more treacle tart.’

Alicia was on her way to follow him when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Before she could turn around Sirius had pulled her close in a hug.

‘Sometimes I hate how right you are. But thank you for making an effort,’ Sirius whispered.

‘Of course. I would do anything for you,’ Alicia told him honestly.

He pulled back a bit so he could look at her. ‘I would die for you, Nessie.’ Then he strode past her back downstairs. Alicia stared after him for a moment, hoping it would never come to that.

* * *

Alicia woke up early on September 1st. She had been restless all night, despite Remus’ effort to tire her down yesterday evening. It felt surreal. A part of her irrational brain thought she would go back as a student. _Oh boy! We are going to see Michelle, Sarah and Elena again! How much I have to tell them. I wonder who our DADA teacher is this year?_ She smiled at her own thoughts.

She was the teacher now.

She moved quietly around as she took a shower and collected her stuff. Remus was still snoring softly, but Charles was awake now. He looked excited at all the movement of things around the room. In the last days she had done her best to read up on all the creatures she remembered seeing in class over the years. But Alicia had the impression that this year was going to be different. Easier, probably. She couldn’t imagine the ministry being a supporter of riding hippogriffs and fighting off fire crabs.

Alicia was pressing down on her suitcase to close the straps when she heard Remus getting up. He appeared next to her and helped her close the case.

‘Thanks,’ Alicia breathed. She looked up and was in a moment struck by how beautiful he was. His tousled hair, his sleepy eyes and his big grin, but also his high cheekbones and the curve of his jaw. The scars running diagonally over his face, the many others decorating his bare torso and the defined muscles he had but never showed.

‘Are you staring?’ he asked as he regarded the way she looked at him. Instead of replying, she leaned forward and kissed him with fiery passion. She couldn’t stop herself from kissing him over and over again.

‘Hmm, that feels good,’ Remus mused. ‘Maybe I can seduce you for ten more minutes in bed?’

Alicia smiled. ‘I wish I had the time. Sorry sweetheart, got a train to catch.’

They embraced each other. ‘Funny. It was only two years ago when I was catching that train. I was wondering whether I would be any good at teaching.’

‘Oh so you know how unqualified I feel then?’ Alicia said nervously.

Remus looked at her. ‘You’ll do fine. If you’re anything like me, you will just go with the flow.’

She smiled coyly. ‘If I’m anything like you, I’ll have myself a student boyfriend in no time.’

He couldn’t help laughing at that. ‘Don’t you dare. I’ll come in to check on you.’

The reality of it all started to crash on her. She fought the tears forming, making herself believe this wasn’t a real goodbye. They would see each other soon.

‘Be careful,’ she said, hoping her voice sounded steady, ‘and take care of our man-child.’

‘I will, and I have done that since I was eleven,’ Remus said with a smile. ‘Don’t worry about us.’

‘I will still worry. I don’t know how good the decision is to leave you two alone,’ Alicia said while she got her bags. Charles was at her side, ready to follow.

Remus reached out to stroke her hair. ‘Focus on your own work first. You have enough to think about. We will be here when you return at the end of the year.’ He kissed her once more. ‘I love you.’

‘Love you too,’ she whispered, at the brink of tears.

She stepped out of the room and down the stairs. No one else was up yet. She had wanted to go to the train by herself. Let the secret last a bit longer, she told herself. She was about to open the front door when she noticed someone was standing in front of it.

‘Were you leaving without saying goodbye to _me?_ ’

Alicia chuckled. ‘I wouldn’t dare.’ She crashed her body against Sirius. ‘Be careful okay? And take care of my werewolf boyfriend.’

‘I have been taking care of him since we were tiny children,’ he mimicked Remus without knowing it. ‘You know, I think this whole deal is a blessing in disguise. At least someone will be close to Harry to help him out.’

Alicia sighed. Oh yes, she would be there for Harry. _If only I didn’t have to report everything he will trust me with._

‘Now, you go be the most awesome professor they have ever seen,’ Sirius added cheerfully as he kissed her cheek.

She smiled weakly. There was a chance she would not be allowed to be awesome. Maybe she had to be just like a ministry official. ‘I will try. At least I have to be cooler than Moony.’

He rolled his eyes. ‘How hard will that be, miss Fata foc? Go slay them.’

‘Aye captain.’


	15. Back to Hogwarts

Everything had been strange about going back to Hogwarts when you’re nineteen. Feeling jittery and worked up, Alicia had a hard time controlling her emotions as she boarded the Hogwarts Express. Students were given her odd glances as she walked down the train to find an empty cabin. She was a stranger to the system now; not a student and not quite a teacher. She could almost see the question behind the raised eyebrows: ‘ _What is a nineteen-year-old rough looking girl doing on her way to school?’_ Honestly Alicia didn’t feel nineteen. She had often felt like an older soul in a young body. Especially when it came to love and relationships. 

In the end she settled for a carriage with Professor Burbage, the Muggle Studies teacher. The other witch had always preferred the train to travelling by other magical means. When she said: ‘Oh well, you should call me Charity now!’ Alicia realised she was now expected to call all teachers by their first names. But Filius, Pomona and definitely Minerva just sounded _wrong._ That would take getting used to.

Professor Burbage was also a good target to test her new roleplay persona on. She needed to be more stick-up-the-ass and prejudiced than she really was. It seemed to convince Charity, which was a good start.

While Charity was listing off different flavours of pudding she hoped would be at the banquet, Alicia stared out of the window of the horseless carriage – she knew that thestrals were used to pull them, but it was hard to envision when they were invisible to her. Her eyes roamed over the view. The water of the lake lied still and looked like a smudge of black ink over the landscape. The only disturbance came from the flock of small boats with the first-years in them. The lantern light glittered in their reflections. Then Alicia’s eyes travelled up to look at the impossibly beautiful castle. When she had left school two years ago, she hadn’t expected to see this view again. But here she was once more, enjoying one of the most indescribably unique events the wizarding world had to offer.

When she reached the castle Professor Flitwick was the first to welcome her.

‘Alicia! How wonderful to see you again. I will lead you to your office quickly before we go to the Great Hall for the sorting ceremony. How have you been?’ he said cheerfully. He attempted to take one of her bags but it ended up dragging over the floor.

‘Oh I’ve been well, thank you. I had an eventful year. You, professor?’ she said back with a smile. Sure she needed to act a bit. However she didn’t have to stop being nice altogether.

Filius sighed. ‘Everything was fine, until the end of last year of course. I wonder how things will change now. We shall see.’

‘So we shall,’ Alicia muttered. Filius led her up some stairs to the part of the castle where Arithmancy and Ancient Runes were given. They stood in a hall that looked like the beginning of a tower.

Alicia stared up at the ceiling, high above her. ‘I don’t think I’ve been here before. And I always praised myself for strolling through every hall.’

Filius laughed as he went up the spiral staircase. ‘You know how the castle changes, right? This tower appeared just after Albus told us about your arrival. A coincidence we took for granted. The tower is yours.’

Alicia looked impressed. ‘Why thank you Hogwarts.’

The door at the top opened and led into a round room. The backside of the room was all glass, with the most stunning view over the castle she had ever seen. They were quite high up, so no one could be looking into the room. _Perfect for privacy,_ Alicia realised. Did the castle just…

To her right was a massive fireplace with an arrangement of comfortable chairs around it. Hanging from the wall were little domes, like cages for small creatures. In front of the windows stood a large wooden desk with a comfortable looking chair. Alicia stepped further into the room and found a door next to the fireplace, a bit obscured at first glance. She opened the door and found herself standing in a bedroom a bit smaller than the office. Another door led to the bathroom.

‘Wow,’ Alicia breathed as she looked around the stunning room. ‘It’s quite something.’

‘It really is,’ Filius said, sounding almost a bit jealous. ‘A fitting chamber for our new professor.’

She giggled. ‘Thank you.’

Charles barked at the door and did a little walk around the room, sniffing everything. Filius looked a bit alarmed at its size. ‘Maybe he can stay here, while we go down.’

‘Charles doesn’t do well without me. He will not be a nuisance, I promise. He listens very well and sheds no hair,’ Alicia said as she scratched the creature. That last part was true. Because his true form didn’t have fur, the dog version wasn’t shedding hairs everywhere. It was a wonderful addition to a wonderful creature.

‘Very well then. Let’s go down Alicia,’ he said, hand on the door.

‘Alright professor.’

‘Uhm, you can call me Filius now.’

* * *

Walking through the Great Hall did special things to Alicia. The room was already crowded with excited students, apart from the first years who were still waiting outside. Filius walked along the side of the four huge house tables, to attract as little attention as possible. The unease she had felt before was turning into panic now. Soon people would be _looking at her…_

As she neared the High table, there was a variety of expressions on the professors faces. Some were happy to see her, some seemed indifferent. Some gave her questioning looks; probably wondering how qualified she could be. Then there was Dumbledore, whose eyes were sparkling as he saw her, but said nothing for now. Also present and currently looking just past her as if he couldn’t bear to look at her, was Severus Snape. Alicia felt a lump in her throat.

Next to Snape was a witch she had never seen before. It was hard to miss her, since she was dressed in bright pink witches robes. She wasn’t a very pretty woman, but not extremely ugly either. However, the smile on her face was the most acid, cunning smile she had ever seen. At once Alicia felt her remaining courage dissapear and almost stopped smiling, but reminded herself that this witch was watching everything with a magnifying glass. _Time to act._

‘Welcome, Professor Doreen,’ Albus Dumbledore said at last, acknowledging her in a simple, detached way. It was the first time she had been called _Professor Doreen_. The sound of it made her laugh tensely.

‘Hello Headmaster. Thank you for giving me this opportunity,’ she said back. He smiled and turned his attention to Minerva.

Alicia sat down next to the pink witch. At once she was looking at her, and Alicia decided to start politely. ‘Hello. I’m Alicia Doreen. New this year,’ she said as she offered her hand.

The witch had a calculating look in her eyes. ‘Hello dear. I’m Dolores Umbridge. If you don’t mind me saying so, aren’t you a bit young to teach? For a moment there I thought you were a student that forgot to put the right robes on!’ she ended her little joke with a high-pitched laugh. It made Alicia’s insides turn.

She exhaled shakily. ‘Oh well, I can’t really pretend to be older than I am. But I have been studying my subject ever since I left school. I would have preferred to have a mentor of sorts, but they didn’t offer one,’ she finished in a whisper. Then she glanced quickly at Dumbledore. ‘I might not have agreed with their choice, but I will do everything in my power to teach the students what they need to know to pass their exams.’

This seemed to be a good start. The scrutinizing look dissipated slightly. ‘Oh I don’t suppose that is your fault then. What do you teach?’

‘Care of Magical Creatures,’ Alicia stated proudly. ‘I’ve had my fair share of experience with the dangers of them. I am going to make sure these students will stay far away from dangerous creatures.’

‘Well that explains your…rough physique then. Tell me, do you believe it is really important to teach students to _care_ for beasts?’ she asked as pleasantly as if she had asked about the weather instead of insulting her in multiple ways.

 _You didn’t make it easy, Dumbledore._ ‘Oh sure I think every beast can be tamed, but only by professionals. At least it is good for the students to be aware of the dangers they could face, won’t you agree?’ Alicia said with honey lacing her voice.

‘I suppose,’ she said quietly. Luckily Alicia was saved then by Dumbledore asking for attention.

During the sorting of the first years she allowed her eyes to travel around. There were a lot of new faces, but also faces she used to know but looked very different now. Still, it was going to be awkward. She had tutored, played games, laughed and joked with many people that were now her students. People that suddenly had to call her Professor Doreen.

She scanned the Gryffindor table, and finally found Harry, surrounded by multiple red-headed kids. Right as she looked at them, Fred spotted her. His eyes grew big, then he poked his brother. George looked too. Alicia gave them a small smile. Then Harry noticed their behaviour and was looking too. Soon, all the Weasleys present, Harry and Hermione were looking at her. With a little blush she winked at them and averted her eyes to the ceremony.

Even though she wasn’t looking at her friends anymore, she could feel their eyes burning a hole in her head. They were probably wondering what the bloody hell she was doing there at the High table and why she hadn’t said anything.

Dumbledore didn’t feel like giving a speech before dinner. He kept it rather short so they could all eat. During the meal, Alicia preferred to talk to the other person sitting next to her, Pomona Sprout, the Herbology teacher. They had a pleasant conversation about their upcoming curriculums, which Alicia was sure Umbridge was trying to listen to. Alicia made sure to make it sound like most of the classes would be held in a theoretical way.

After the plates had been cleared Dumbledore rose again. He started off by saying that the forest was forbidden for all students, which made Alicia smile. Then the usual reminder that Argus Filch had given him, then the part Alicia started to feel anxious about.

‘We have two changes in staff this year. Firstly we welcome Professor Alicia Doreen as our temporary Care of Magical Creatures Professor, in the absence of Professor Hagrid.’

The staff clapped, the students followed. But it was uncertain and confused clapping. Alicia did an awkward little bow quite similar to the one she had seen Remus do when he was introduced two years ago. Even though she wasn’t looking anyone in the eye, it was clear there was more than enough rumour going around. She also heard the word ‘Nessie’ resurface a couple of times.

‘Next we welcome Professor Dolores Umbridge, who is our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher,’ Dumbledore announced. The applause was polite, but not enthusiastic. Whereas people had ideas about Alicia, no one knew this new person, wrapped in her pink clothes.

‘The Quidditch try-outs will be held…’ Dumbledore went on, but stopped as he, as well as Alicia, noticed that Professor Umbridge had stood up. She was not much taller standing than sitting, so it took a moment for everyone to notice her. Umbridge cleared her throat, clearly intending to give a speech. In all her years, Alicia had never seen a teacher give a speech, let alone interrupt Dumbledore. The other teachers seemed even more shocked than she was. Clearly, this had never happened before.

The witch launched into a speech about progress, preserving tradition, a lot of other crap that only meant one thing: Dumbledore was right in thinking that she was here to change things. The little woman with her sweet appearance and high-pitched voice was suddenly starting to seem terrifying. How much could she change? How far would she go? Was Dumbledore right in thinking it would be hard to keep her job?

When she finally stopped talking, Dumbledore clapped. Alicia made sure to clap too, much more enthusiastically than the other teachers. Umbridge sat down again and was noticing Alicia’s smile.

Dumbledore continued quickly so they could be done for the evening. A lot of students were looking drowsy after that speech. Once the Headmaster was done, everyone started moving around. The teachers too, got out of their seats.

‘Hello Alicia,’ said a familiar voice. She turned to see Professor McGonagall, still looking a bit confused after everything that had happened. ‘How wonderful to see you again. How was your time with the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary?’

‘Hello Professor McGonagall! Oh I know I need to use first names now, but it will take some time to adjust to that,’ Alicia said with a little laugh. ‘Romania was wonderful. I’m still missing it.’

Minerva didn’t seem to mind that she needed some time. ‘I was wondering about that. When Albus said you were coming here…I wondered why you would give up your work there.’

That was an excellent question. Why hadn’t she thought this through more? She was an idiot. She had spent her time making up classes and learning to lie convincingly. But she hadn’t stopped to think about the first question people would ask her: why are you here?

‘I’m not so much giving it up,’ Alicia started. She looked around nervously until she saw the huge chair that was usually there for Hagrid. With a smile she said: ‘But Hagrid asked me to take over for a bit. He has done so much for me, I couldn’t let him down.’

That seemed like a logical answer to both of them. ‘Oh well, that sounds good then. I understand all of this might be overwhelming for you. If you have any questions, my door is always open.’

Alicia smiled. ‘Thank you pro-uhm…Minerva. I’ll keep that in mind.’

She had a couple of conversations and quick greetings like this. The most interesting interaction she had was with Madame Pomfrey, whose eyes were big and alert as she watched Alicia. She shook her head and did something like a quick prayer. Alicia smiled, thinking back on the last day she had seen her. The former Ravenclaw had promised not to return to the Hospital Wing. A promise that might be hard to keep for the woman who kept injuring herself.

Fatigue suddenly overwhelmed her. She longed to lie down in her bed. Charles followed her closely. For a moment she was worried how he would react to crowds of people, but he seemed quite calm. His endless eyes were fixated on Alicia. Like there was nothing in this world except her.

After a polite amount of time, Alicia slipped away. The tower that was hers was in a quiet corner, far away from the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor towers. She and Charles climbed the steps to her office. Once she was inside and had closed the door she leaned against it with a sigh. She felt so tired. Emotionally exhausted. And she hadn’t even done any teaching yet.

This was going to be a lot harder than she thought.


	16. Professor Doreen

Professor Alicia Doreen had a long and difficult day ahead. After a restless night in her new surroundings – although the restlessness had nothing to do with those surroundings; it was the most comfortable bed she had ever slept in – she went down for breakfast. Seeing that she had created a designated spot for herself next to Dolores, she prepared to be pleasant to the witch.

‘Morning professor,’ Alicia said cheerfully. Dolores was dressed in a different dress, but the colour was almost the same. Maybe it was a shade darker pink. Her puffy eyes narrowed slightly as she smiled.

‘Good morning. Ready for your first day?’ she asked, hitting the source of her anxiety straight away.

Alicia decided to be busy rearranging her plate just so she didn’t have to look at her. ‘I’m sure it will be great. I start with the seventh-years though. I don’t know who thought of that but I guess they are throwing me in at the deep end.’

Dolores huffed. ‘Bad planning already. I have only been here a short time but I already see many things that need to be improved.’

‘I agree.’

It was clear that she hadn’t expected that. Her eyebrows rose up. ‘You do?’

Alicia nodded and talked around her bite. ‘I have seen the quality of education decline in my years as a student. Hiring underqualified professors, me included I’m afraid, letting inappropriate behaviour slide and a general lack of control. How else do you explain the fourth champion in the Triwizard Tournament last year? Years ago when I got here, it was all better.’

‘Well I didn’t think you would see it the same way I do. But I am glad to find someone in this castle with common sense,’ Dolores replied pleased.

Alicia shrugged and continued eating. It was hard to stomach the food, as sick as she felt by her own words.

* * *

She refused to blush. She had practiced her stony expression in the mirror before the first class would start. Alicia was getting better at pretending, but for Godric’s sake it was _not_ easy. Not when the very first class was for a group of students that she had studied and partied with. And of

course the twins were sitting in the front.

‘Good morning class,’ she said once the last student was sitting down.

‘Good morning professor,’ said all of them, but she could hear George draw out the word _professor._

‘My name is Professor Alicia Doreen. I will be your teacher of Care of Magical Creatures for this year, or until Professor Hagrid returns. I can start this class by telling you something about myself, but most of it you already know me.’

There were some soft chuckles going around. Alicia paced slowly in front of the classroom. ‘I’m not going to pretend I don’t know most of you. I understand it might be strange for you to see me back as a professor instead of a student,’ she looked around, seeing some of them starting to talk. ‘However that will not mean you can treat me any different than your other teachers. We are here to learn and make sure you can all pass your N.E.W.T.S. I can be pleasant, but I can also deduce house points and give detention if I don’t feel respected by you.’

Some of them looked startled at this. No one dared to say something.

‘Right then, so far the introductions. Please get out your copies of _Fantastic Beasts and where to find them._ We will start lightly this year.’

The sound of shuffling was heard through the class as they got their books out. One girl in the back raised her hand. ‘Miss Hornby?’ Alicia said, trying very hard to remember to use surnames now.

‘Professor, usually this class takes place outside. May I ask why we are in a classroom?’ she asked bravely. Alicia was happy to hear her formal addressing.

Now that she had asked it, more students were wondering about this.

‘Is that the creature we are going to learn about?’ another student said as he had spotted Charles curled up in the corner.

‘This year,’ Alicia said loudly to shut them up, ‘Classes will be different. There will be more theory and less involvement with creatures.’ Everyone seemed astonished by this. ‘We got a request from the ministry to focus more on the exams and less on the - as they phrased it - playtime.’

‘Surely you won’t listen to that crap!’ Fred exclaimed before he could help himself. Alicia gave him a dark look and he shrunk in his seat. ‘Sorry…professor.’

‘I’ll let that slide for now, but not a second time. Now if you all stop worrying about the lesson plan and more about what you need to learn, I’m sure we can make these classes fun and educative at the same time. Now, turn to page 14 of your books.’

Alicia took out her own copy of the book. It was old and very worn. Notes were scribbled everywhere to add to Mister Scamander his findings, the corners were mostly torn or missing and the pages had faded to a yellow colour. She had gotten this book when she was eleven years old and went to Diagon Alley with her parents, and she used it well. She had taken it with her when she went into the forest, to see if everything was true. There were many more texts about magical beasts, but none of them held that fascination and admiration in the words like the one by Mister Newt Scamander. In another life, she would have written a book very similar.

‘Mister Weasley,’ she said while looking at Fred, ‘Why don’t you start reading?’

Angelina Johnson giggled when Fred was put on the spot. ‘Certainly professor. Ahem. The Crup. The crup originated in the southeast of England. It closely resembles a Jack Russel terrier, except for the forked tail.’

Fred read through the entire text as Alicia regarded her students. All of them were reading along, no one was distracted. While he was reading the text that Alicia almost knew by heart, she opened the curtain to a little storage corner at the front of the classroom. She picked up a large basket with a blanket over it and placed it on her desk.

When Fred finished, Alicia spoke again. ‘Thank you Mr Weasley. Does any of you have a crup at home by any chance?’

Two people raised their hands. ‘Wonderful. Have either of you performed the Severing Charm to take off the second tail?’

One of the two, a Hufflepuff girl, gasped. ‘No! We brought him to a specialist for that.’

‘It is a simple and harmless spell. The crup won’t feel a thing…if you perform it right,’ Alicia said with emphasis. Then she pulled the blanket off and revealed a litter of crup puppies.

‘Puppies!’ a couple of girls exclaimed. There was a general excitement going around the room.

‘Yes, crup puppies,’ Alicia said as she took one in her hand and set it down in front of two Gryffindor boys. At first they seemed uninterested, but then Alicia could see they were acting tough. No one could resist a puppy, definitely not when it was trying to bark but all that came out was a squeak.

‘Form pairs. We first practice the Severing Charm on a piece of parchment before you get a puppy. Make sure you cut exactly on the line. Show me your results and then you can try. No one tries without me present, understood?’

‘Yes professor!’ everyone exclaimed. Rolls of parchment were drawn from bags, everyone eager to get a puppy. Alicia smiled in relief. This was going quite alright.

For the next twenty minutes, Alicia looked as everyone performed the charm. It was a charm they had learned in their fourth year, so Alicia was not too worried about appliance. Soon everyone could show a smooth cut.

‘Wonderful everyone. Who would like to go first?’ Some of them seemed hesitant, afraid to hurt the puppies. In the end is was Angelina and a friend who went first. Everyone looked nervously as the one held the puppy and the other severed the second tail. It fell off smoothly, no blood was drawn. The puppy squeaked happily.

‘Excellent! Ten points to Gryffindor. Who is next?’

And so the class went on. Before she knew it, she had a basket full of unharmed normal looking puppies. She assigned them to read up on crups, but didn’t assign any homework to be made. They all left with happy smiles on their faces.

Fred and George stayed behind. ‘Wonderful first class professor,’ George said with a big grin. ‘Puppies are always a winner.’

Alicia couldn’t help but chuckle. She checked the door and saw that everyone was gone. ‘I was pretty nervous. How do you think I did?’

‘Splendid,’ Fred agreed with his brother. ‘But we are really not going to see too many creatures then?’

Alicia rolled her eyes. ‘Hello? You just had crups here. I’m going to do what the ministry wants, but according to _my_ rules. Most lessons will be inside, to satisfy them. At the end of every month I’m thinking of showing something…bigger.’

‘Like him?’ George said, pointing to Charles. ‘I _really_ wanna see what your dog looks like.’

Alicia smiled. ‘I hardly think the rest of the faculty can appreciate me bringing a dragon into the castle. It will have to remain a secret. I can count on you two, right?’

‘Yes professor,’ they both said.

Alicia smiled, finally feeling some of her stress subside. ‘Thanks guys. Now, get the hell out of my classroom.’

* * *

After starting with the seventh-years, Alicia felt more sure about the rest. That first day she had three classes, all of them a big success. In the fourth-years class a Hufflepuff boy had dared to ask her about her scar, and all she had done was smile enigmatically.

The second day she taught Harry’s class. She did the same intro, explained a little about herself and then they started. The subject for the coming week was fire crabs. She had not yet found one to show in class, but started with theory. She gave them time to work on the homework for next week, and they all worked in silence. That silence was disturbed by a snickering laugh.

Alicia, together with a couple of others, looked up. The laughing didn’t stop.

‘What is so funny, Mr Malfoy?’ Alicia asked, one eyebrow drawn.

‘Nothing,’ he said, dropped a big pause before continuing with, ‘professor.’

Alicia closed her book and walked over to him and one of his friends sitting next to him. Was this Crabbe or Goyle? Malfoy gave her a challenging look, but Alicia refused to be agitated by it.

‘Is there anything about the work you don’t understand?’ she asked kindly.

This caused some more whispers around her. Malfoy’s smile disappeared. ‘No. I’m not stupid.’

‘I didn’t say you were,’ Alicia continued in a soft tone. ‘But you are all here to learn. You can ask questions, if you want.’

‘I don’t need your help,’ he spat back.

This caused her to change her attitude a bit. ‘I don’t appreciate that tone, Mr Malfoy. I should give you detention for that.’ He looked angrily back at her. ‘But I believe in second changes. Continue your work in silence, or come to me for questions. No more giggling or I’ll have to punish you.’

At this point, a fair amount of Gryffindors were stifling laughs. Malfoy didn’t seem happy about the situation at all. Alicia turned her back to him.

‘You aren’t even fit to be a teacher! Why should I listen to a freak like you?’

She didn’t have to turn back around. She walked up to the front, got out her wand and waved at a piece of chalk. It wrote on the schoolboard: I NEED TO LEARN RESPECT. Alicia sat down in her chair and gave Malfoy a look.

‘I’m waiting,’ she announced when no one moved.

‘I’m not doing lines!’ he exclaimed. ‘My father-‘

‘I bet he will,’ said Alicia, having heard that sentence many times already. And she had never even been in class with him before. A lot of other students seemed more than pleased that he was interrupted. ‘Now get over here and give me a hundred lines. Now, Mr Malfoy.’

He dragged his feet to the front and picked up the chalk. He seemed to consider chucking it at her head, and Alicia almost wanted him to. Then he reconsidered and started writing. Students were laughing now.

‘Quiet,’ Alicia warned. ‘Everyone that does not wish to join Mr Malfoy will study in silence until the end of the hour.’

When class ended, Malfoy seemed ready to walk back to his seat to get his stuff.

‘No no,’ Alicia said quickly. ‘You aren’t done yet.’

‘Why not?’ he spat.

Alicia looked in his angry face. ‘Because clearly the message hasn’t reached you yet. Continue.’

Everyone left the classroom. Harry gave her the happiest smile she had seen on him in a long time. When the students left, it turned very quiet, apart from the sound of chalk rasping over the board. Alicia read over her lesson plan for the third-years that was next. Only when she had read it all over twice did she look up again. He was still writing. The angry look seemed gone, but he was still deeply unhappy.

‘Mr Malfoy?’ she said softly.

He looked up with his hand mid-air. He didn’t have the energy anymore to glare at her, so he just looked with his lips pressed in a firm line.

‘I want you to understand something. Something that will not be easy for you to hear. You will probably yell at me again and I will let that slide, because I’m going to say something personal,’ Alicia said with her hands clasped together.

‘What is it, professor?’ he asked, the venom partly gone. At least the punishment seemed to have changed something.

She looked him deep in the eye before she said it. ‘You would be better off in life if you stop being a copy of your father, and more your own person.’

He laughed sarcastically. It was not as bad as she had predicted. ‘What do you know about me, or my family?’

‘Not much,’ she agreed, ‘But I know your father. We have been on opposite sides once. And the way you talked to me sounded so much like him. I understand that you have been taught to mimic everything he does. That he is what you should aspire to be. I’m telling you, you can be so much more. Just…use your own words and deeds. Not his.’

He strode over to collect his stuff without saying a word. Then he stood in front of her desk. ‘Am I dismissed?’

‘Yes.’

‘Thank you, professor.’

Alicia watched him leave and felt herself release a breath she didn’t know she was holding. 

* * *

‘Charles, I’m going to take a bath for the coming two hours,’ she told her pet as they climbed the steps to her room. ‘I’m so tired.’

Her latest class had been a mess. As the third-years were introduced to flobberworms, one of the boys had decided to throw the mucus on a girl. She had screamed louder than a fire alarm, and then everyone was throwing mucus. She had almost forgotten how childish teenagers could be.

There was still mucus in her hair and under her nails. She had ordered the class to clean up their own mess, without magic. They had complied without much contradiction. However, Alicia was reminded that not every class was going to be quiet and easy.

She nearly had a heart attack when she slammed the door to her office open and looked into the room.

‘AAAH!’ she screamed. Charles barked as he shot around her, ready to attack.

‘Relax Alicia! It’s only us!’

The room was lit only by a couple of candles, and therefore she had not recognized the two figures standing in her office. Now that she had heard his voice, it was obvious. It were her own two troublemakers.

‘Merlin’s beard! Don’t do that again!’ Alicia exclaimed as she checked the hall below, making sure no one had heard her scream.

‘Bad conscience?’ Sirius snickered from his spot next to the fireplace. He was leaning against the mantelpiece like a model in a photoshoot. He was holding one of her dragon figurines in his hand. She loved collecting muggle art of magical creatures. She usually got a good laugh out of how wrong they were.

She locked the door. ‘Did you really just casually lounge in my room with an unlocked door, Mr Azkaban?’ she asked with raised eyebrows.

Remus, at least, had the decency to look guilty. ‘We should have checked the door. We thought you would already be here.’

Alicia walked over to them and Remus was about to hug her, but stopped halfway into the action. ‘Uhmm…’

‘Yes I stink,’ she said irritably. ‘I was late because students think it’s hilarious to throw mucus around.’

Sirius bellowed a laugh. ‘Hey Moony, didn’t we do that too? I’m pretty sure James hit Lily in the face that day.’

Remus tried very hard not to laugh. ‘I…I think so.’

Alicia waved it off. ‘I know you guys were the biggest problem of the school. Tell me, did any teacher ever resign in your years, stress related?’

They shared a look. Then Remus tried to soothe her. ‘Maybe you should take a quick shower. I’ll put the kettle on. Wonderful office you have here by the way.’

‘Better than Moony’s, right?’ Sirius chimed in.

‘Yeah it’s much better,’ Alicia said happily.

‘Knew it. You own me ten sickles.’

‘Shut up Pads.’

Alicia left them to bicker as she stepped into the bathroom. The great bathtub was calling her, but she didn’t have the time for it. If Remus had come alone she would have jumped in and ordered him to share the bath with her. But Sirius had to spoil their romantic evening, obviously.

When she walked back in, she was dressed in a bathrobe and comfortable pyjamas. Her hair was still leaking water, even after towelling it for five minutes. They had taken their places in front of the fireplace. Remus had indeed prepared tea and chocolate. The day she would see Remus without chocolate she would sound all the alarm bells in the world.

She jumped on the sofa next to Remus, draping her feet over his lap. ‘Thanks for the tea, darling.’

He smiled and kissed her hand. ‘So, how were your first two days? Apart from the mucus throwing.’

‘Pretty good actually. I mean, my classes were. I had to start by teaching Fred and George, who are pretty much the equivalent of the Marauders. But they were listening quite well. Then I had Harry’s class, in which I gave detention to the Malfoy kid. Tried to give him some life lessons, not sure it worked.’

They both seemed comfortable and happy to see her talk so lightly about teaching. Sirius was in a general good mood, since he was no longer in Grimmauld Place.

‘And how is the witch from the ministry?’ Remus asked after a polite pause.

For a second, Alicia thought this was the only reason they were here. To gain information for the Order. She shook her head, knowing that they cared more about her than that.

‘Dolores Umbridge,’ Alicia said with a deep sigh. ‘She is everything you would fear. Stick-up-her-ass and a smile that churns your insides. Already has ideas about changing Hogwarts.’ She took a long sip from her tea, trying to reassure herself that she wasn’t currently in the presence of that woman.

‘Hmm. And what does she think of you? First impressions?’ Remus continued.

Alicia shrugged. ‘I am playing her game. Pretending to be pleasant. I think she is falling for it. She doesn’t know who I am.’

‘Even with your scars? And your age?’ Remus asked with a raised eyebrow. ‘I thought it would be hard.’

‘I made up for it with prejudges,’ she said unhappily. ‘But this is only the second day. It’s hard to say.’

‘And how is dear old Snape?’ Sirius asked with a grin. 

‘Pretty much ignoring me,’ Alicia told him honestly. ‘And I prefer it that way. Every time I see him I’m afraid his memory came back.’

Sirius looked confused. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘Alicia did something she regretted later,’ Remus said quickly. Sirius looked from him to Alicia. He raised an eyebrow, challenging her to tell the story.

‘Well,’ she said while she cleared her throat, ‘I sort of punched him in the face once.’

Now his mouth fell open and he leaned forward. ‘No way. And you made him forget?’

‘Yep,’ she said with a plopping P.

‘When and why did you do that? I mean, I would generally like to punch him in the face, but what triggered you?’

‘Sirius,’ Remus warned. ‘Maybe we shouldn’t encourage that.’

‘Hey, I’m the teacher now!’ Alicia exclaimed, poking him with her foot. ‘Encourage me my ass. I punched him right after he told the entire school that Remus is a werewolf. That answers both questions, I assume.’

Sirius got to his feet, his eyes like thunder. ‘Are you telling me that slimy git is the reason you had to leave this school?’ he went for the door. ‘I’m going to-‘

‘You’re not going to do anything!’ Remus yelled as he stood up. Sirius grabbed the door handle, but stopped there. ‘You know perfectly well this office is already a treat. You can’t go anywhere else.’

‘Padfoot,’ Alicia said softly. ‘There is no point. You know that right?’

‘I could still punch him in the face and obliviate him,’ he said as he turned away from the door. He gave Alicia a look before sitting down. This time he refused to use the chair the right way. He sat down on the floor with his back to the chair, draping his slender legs out in front of him.

Remus gave him a look. ‘Didn’t we just discuss how important it is that we don’t endanger Alicia’s cover here? This is our first time visiting and you are almost storming off through the castle. Please Padfoot, I need you to be a bit more adult.’

Sirius stared ahead of him with a defiant look at first, but then his look softened. ‘I know Moony.’

‘What did you discuss?’ Alicia asked, feeling like she picked up on something.

Remus sat back down. ‘Well, when I first heard that you were working here I was…emotional,’ Remus said with a dropped gaze. ‘But after Sirius and I talked about it, we realised that this mission of yours is very important. Now at least there is someone in the castle that protects Harry out of love, not out of devotion to a cause.’

Alicia swallowed thickly. ‘So what you are saying is, you really want me to work this mission the best I can? I thought a part of you still wanted me back at your side, at Grimmauld Place.’

The two Marauders shared a look. ‘We would love to have you close Nessie. But Harry is in constant danger, and I obviously trust you more than Snape,’ Sirius sneered.

Remus nodded. Alicia realised at this point that there was more at stake than just the mission Dumbledore had given her. Her presence in the castle made her two best friends feel better about their godson. And she had to admit, she agreed with their feeling. Now at least someone could jump in front of Harry when he was in danger, someone who would die for him.

She shivered as she remembered the nightmare she had before. Harry lying dead on the stairs… ‘ _You could have prevented this. You could have taken his place,’_ the dream-Sirius had said.

‘Yes. It is better to be here, to protect Harry,’ Alicia agreed at last. ‘I will protect him no matter the costs.’

‘Let’s not think of that now. Everything will be fine,’ Remus told her as he drew her closer in his arms.

‘Are you going to be all snuggly now?’ Sirius said with a scowl.

Alicia pressed her cheek to Remus’. ‘You have a problem with that?’

‘No. Not if you let me join.’

‘Padfoot!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were a Hogwarts professor, what subject would you teach? And would you do a better job than Alicia?


	17. Busy and blue

Not every class went well. Actually most of them were pretty difficult. In Alicia’s preparation, she had mostly focussed on the first impression. She badly wanted to be seen as the stern but sometimes fun professor that no one would mess with. However, keeping up that appearance is difficult if someone asks a question you can’t answer. Or when beasts decide not to do what you want them too. More than once she found herself blushing like an idiot in front of people that were not much younger than her.

But then again, not every class went wrong either. At least most of the students liked her and a fair share of them respected her. The other professors were getting more used to her too, with some exceptions. And there was one particular student who she hoped to cheer up a bit. Harry seemed lonely and cranky most of the time, but he seemed to brighten up when he walked into her class. However, so far she had nothing to report to Dumbledore.

On a September evening, while it was raining heavily, Alicia sat creatively in an armchair in the staff room. The heavy wind was blowing the rain against the windows, which made a very loud noise. Apart from the rain it was fairly quiet in the room. There were a couple of professors present; talking, relaxing or working.

Alicia was doing the latter. There was a huge volume in her lap what was supposed to help her prepare for the O.W.L. material for this year. She couldn’t be so stupid as to forget to teach them something that would come back in the exams!

‘Still working, Alicia?’ came the voice of Minerva McGonagall as she sat down on a couch close to her.

Alicia looked over the edge of her book. ‘Indeed. Much to do,’ she replied shortly.

Minerva quirked an eyebrow. ‘Surely you have prepared enough by now. I have seen you studying that book and various others every night since you arrived.’

‘Maybe it keeps slipping her mind. Some people read but don’t actually absorb,’ said Severus, who was occupying another chair. He had been so quiet that Alicia hadn’t even noticed him. Now she glared at him, while he pretended to be very busy reading himself.

‘No. But I don’t want to miss anything. I sometimes…well…sometimes a student has a question I can’t answer. I want that to stop happening. I feel like a fool, a fraud,’ Alicia replied. She hid her reddening face behind the book.

‘We’ve had plenty of fools and frauds teach here. No one seems to mind, so you fit right in,’ Severus added, now actually looking up with a pleased look. Clearly he thought he was brilliant.

‘Severus,’ Minerva said. ‘There’s no need to be hostile.’

‘I’m hardly hostile,’ he retorted. He gave Alicia a look that said more than words. He had that triumphant smile on his face. ‘Not like our dear werewolf professor was.’

It took everything she had in her not to jump from her chair and attack him. Her nails dug into the fabric of the chair, nearly ripping it apart. It was not like Remus and herself had kept their relationship a secret, but they hadn’t exactly stepped up during an Order meeting to say ‘guess what, we are together!’ So Alicia wondered how Snape knew. That, and how to kill him without getting fired.

‘Professor Lupin didn’t hurt anyone,’ Minerva said quietly. She looked sad while she said it. Either she missed him or she wondered how she hadn’t figured his secret out sooner.

‘That’s right. Remus actually cared about his students. He would never test potentially poisonous potions on pets of students. Or mock students for the way they look. That is downright petty behaviour, don’t you think?’ Alicia retorted as cold and detached as she could.

It was his time to look red in the face. However for him it wasn’t shame, it was anger.

‘Well I never,’ Minerva said. ‘Who would do those things?’

Alicia did nothing except from staring Severus down. His mouth twitched irritably. For a moment, Alicia felt a sharp pain in the back of her head. As she rubbed it, Severus got out of his seat and was striding out of the room.

‘Alicia,’ Minerva said, her voice low and steady. ‘Did you hear about Severus performing those acts in class?’

It was hard to decide. She knew Severus couldn’t be fired, because he was also part of the Order and probably had an important task just like her. She shouldn’t be fighting him, they should work together. _But the jab about Remus. That hurt._

‘I heard some rumours, but nothing I can proof,’ Alicia told the other witch. ‘But let’s not pretend he is actually kind to students.’

She sighed. ‘I have been dreading incidents like these. I will try to talk with him, but I don’t think it is wise to spread this information. Not with…’

Alicia could finish that sentence for her. _Not with Umbridge around._

‘I understand,’ is all she replied. Then she turned back to read about fireproof spells to protect yourself from fire crabs. Her mind was so full that she didn’t realise she knew _everything_ about fireproof spells already.

Minerva stood up. ‘Don’t worry yourself too much Alicia. So far you seem like a competent teacher. The rest will come with time.’

She gave her a quick smile before returning to the book.

* * *

Alicia hurried along the path to Hogsmeade. It was the first weekend where the students could visit the town, and so the streets were full with them. Alicia had been too wrapped up in her work to notice the time. She was ten minutes late to her appointment. Late to the appointment she had initiated.

Once she had burst through the doors to the Three Broomsticks, apologized to a wizard for smacking the door in his face, and hurried over to the right table, she could finally look at the people she hadn’t seen in a while.

‘Hey guys,’ Alicia said while catching her breath. Her smile reflected the one she saw on the three other faces around the table. The first one, a tall woman with raven hair pulled in a half-updo, sensible make-up and a unique witches robe that could only be self-made, gave her a warm smile but with a deeper look in her eyes. Michelle didn’t look too different from her time in school, apart from the more pronounced dress sense and more defined features.

Sophia, ever the elegant one, was wearing an ochre dress with a tiny witches hat clipped to her soft auburn hair. She was wearing dark eyeliner and matching lipstick. Sophia’s smile looked most forced, since she was probably taken aback by Alicia’s appearance.

Elena’s eyes shone the brightest. Her short blonde curls and blue eyes gave her an eternal young and kind look. She was wearing a yellow sweater and a short denim skirt underneath. Her skin still looked a bit tanned from summer, which made her freckles stand out more than usual.

Elena was the first one to rise from her chair and hug Alicia. She still had the same familiar smell of jasmine around her and Alicia loved to soak it all up.

‘Hey Alicia! So good to see you!’ she said cheerfully. When they pulled apart it was clear she felt emotional about the reunion.

‘My god girl. You weren’t kidding about working with dragons, were you?’ Michelle joked as she was next to hug her.

Alicia smiled in her embrace. ‘Oh you can tell I work with dangerous creatures? How, pray tell?’

Michelle punched her in the shoulder. ‘Sarcastic and lacking self-perseverance. You haven’t changed a bit.’

Alicia laughed and walked around her towards Sophia. The third witch hugged her tightly too but had nothing to add. They all sat down, ordered butterbeers and started chatting.

‘I can’t believe we forgot about our monthly meetings,’ Michelle said while shaking her head.

‘Well, we never even started them. So not so much forgetting as neglecting,’ Sophia replied.

‘Hey! Don’t make it sound like I wanted to abandon you guys,’ Elena protested, ‘I felt bad all this time! But I’ve just been-‘

‘Busy,’ all of them said at the same time. Then they all laughed.

‘Funny isn’t it? How everyone is doomed to be the same cliché?’ Alicia said with a smile.

They all took turns to talk about their lives. Sophia was living with Jared, the same guy she was dating in their last year at school. They had bought a house together and were talking about marriage, but he hadn’t proposed yet. She had a job at the ministry, working for the department of International Magical Cooperation. Sometimes her job required her to travel but it didn’t happen often, so she had enough time to be at home with her partner and family.

Elena had opened a new store in the magical street of Edinburgh, Scotland. It was a bookstore in combination with antiques and magical objects. She also included muggle items and books, in an attempt to make a bridge between both worlds. She wasn’t seeing anyone, but she loved to go out with friends and go on dates. Life was busy and cheerful.

Michelle was busy with her internship to become an Auror. It would take two more years for her to complete the training. She tried to sounds chipper, but it was clear that the world wasn’t so rose-coloured to her anymore. She saw the dark and the gritty, the illegal and the bad. Also she off-handed mentioned that lately there was a lot of stress inside their department, because the ministry was trying to keep everything quiet that was happening. Suddenly most of their work was classified.

When it was Alicia’s time to speak, the first question fired at her was: ‘So, you and Professor Lupin. How did that work out?’

Alicia laughed and told them the rocky path that was her life.

‘How the tables have turned. Now you’re the teacher!’ Elena exclaimed. ‘How is that?’

‘Hard. Very, very hard,’ Alicia said as she ran a hand through her hair. ‘I am not convinced I’m any good at it.’

‘So then why did you do it?’ Michelle asked. ‘I get that you wanted to be closer to Lupin, but why take a job as a teacher, two years after you graduated?’

She bit her lip. ‘Because Dumbledore asked me to.’

Michelle, already curious, now looked like she found the holy grail. Her eyes opened wide and she had a shimmer in them that looked like desire. ‘Hold on,’ she whispered, leaning over the table, ‘Are you saying…you are teaching on _Order_ business?’

‘What is-,’ Sophia was about to ask loudly before Michelle and Alicia shushed her. Both of them looked around but no one was paying attention. Once she was satisfied, Michelle looked wanting.

‘Yes, is the short answer,’ Alicia whispered back. ‘But you can’t ask any questions. Not here.’

‘Oh my,’ Elena said in a way of answer. She looked uneasy but not judgemental.

‘I can’t believe it. I should be in it too. I need to be,’ Michelle said excitedly. ‘Can you introduce me?’

‘Yeah fine,’ Alicia said waving it off. She really didn’t like this topic matter, not in a bar where everyone could walk in. Including Dolores Umbridge.

After a moment of silence, Sophia made a strange sound. ‘Hold on. You aren’t talking about those looneys that think…well whatever Dumbledore says?’

All three of them just stared silently at her. Put on the spot, she continued. ‘Obviously it is all fake. There is nothing going on.’

Michelle and Alicia shared a look. This was tricky. Their friend was a firm believer of the crap the ministry was selling. She was working there daily, so it made sense. Apart from that, Sophia was never one to question peoples lies or intentions. But she was still their friend.

‘Soph,’ Alicia started, hoping she didn’t sound condescending, ‘I understand the situation is a bit…difficult. But I need you to be mentally prepared. For when things do go wrong.’

‘What do you mean?’ she asked with a little laugh, like it was all a joke to her.

‘I mean that there just might…be a war. Or at least a lot of bad things happening. People getting killed and all that. Now you have nothing to fear, but you should at least…I dunno. Prepare for the possibility.’

Sophia looked at Elena, who was casting her eyes down. ‘Surely you don’t all believe that too?’ she said, hoping for back-up.

‘I’m an Auror, Sophia,’ Michelle stated. ‘I don’t believe. I _see._ The wizarding world is in deep shit, and the minster is trying to keep it under the table.’

Sophia looked ready to either cry or run away. Her world was being shattered in front of her. ‘Lies,’ she whispered, her eyes watering.

‘Hey, we don’t need to talk about this,’ Alicia offered. ‘There is nothing we can do now anyway. Let’s uhm…talk about romance. Michelle, found any yet?’

Romance was always a good topic to distract people. It was one of the most interesting thing to gossip about. Michelle, getting the cue, started telling about a person she had dated for a while. Sophia seemed calmed by this and the conversation got less tense.

Later as Michelle and Sophia went to the loo, Elena turned to Alicia with a sad expression.

‘Alicia, I need to tell you something,’ she said.

‘Okay.’

‘I am not blind to the world. I heard enough stories by now to know that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back. And as much as I wish to defend others and fight, I have a shop to run. Also I’m protecting my parents. I can’t take off and…’

It took Alicia a moment to understand. ‘Elena. I don’t think you are weak for not wanting to fight like Michelle.’

A tear fell down Elena’s cheek. ‘Really? Because I feel like a coward.’

With some shushing sounds Alicia draped her arms around her friend, holding her close. ‘Elena, I completely understand how you feel. I didn’t…exactly volunteer for it either. I was…no. I _am_ scared of dying, every day. I am not a brave fighter like Michelle, who knows she might give her life for the job one day.’

Elena pulled back. ‘Then why don’t you leave?’

There were multiple small reasons for her to stay, and most of them were because of others. She wanted to stay to protect Harry, but also because Remus and Sirius expected her to stay. She didn’t want to let them down. But she couldn’t really say this, because talking about Harry was a tricky subject. So she decided on a half-truth.

‘I…I think I am staying out of fear,’ Alicia admitted. ‘Fear for letting the people I love down. Fear of Dumbledore and what he might do if I fail him. Fear of losing people without even being there when they die.’ She tried to refrain herself from crying. ‘I actually hate it.’

That was the truth though. The deeply hidden truth. She might understand why she had to work for the Order, but deep down she _hated it._

Elena looked at her with pity and compassion. They hugged again and let go when the others returned. Both of them wiped the tears away.

‘That must have been a cheerful conversation,’ Michelle chimed in.

They both smiled weakly.

Later they were standing outside, ready to go their separate ways. Of course they tried to arrange another meeting for next month, but Alicia could already tell that was going to fail. It was okay though. She felt a bit alienated from her friends after their time apart. Sophia mostly, but Michelle’s hard pessimistic view was also rubbing Alicia the wrong way. Elena was the only one she would love to have around more. Funny, how someone can have a ‘best friend’ for years only to figure out another friend fits you better.

The girls looked interested when a group of students walked by and called Alicia ‘professor’. It was hard for them to believe she was actually teaching now. It was a surreal moment.

‘Stay in touch okay? Give my name to Dumbledore,’ Michelle whispered as they said goodbye. Alicia promised to do so.

Sophia looked a bit coldly as she hugged Alicia. ‘Bye girl. See you soon.’

Elena actually made a great effort to hug Alicia as wonderfully as possible. They both wrapped their arms around the other, to share comfort and support. Alicia pulled back before she would start crying again.

They all said goodbye. Alicia decided to go for a walk. As she swerved through the streets of Hogsmeade she could see the Shrieking Shack in the distance. It was quiet now, no longer harbouring a werewolf or a fugitive. Alicia smiled at the idea of having fond memories about an old empty house.

Hagrid’s house was still empty. Alicia had the key to it, because loads of supplies for her work were in there. She suddenly remembered that the thestrals still needed to be fed. There was always trouble in doing so, since she couldn’t see the invisible creatures.

With a bucket full of slices of raw meat, she walked into the forest. Every once in a while she performed a revealing charm. It worked for a second, giving Alicia an outline of the creatures. She was about to cast the spell again when she noticed someone was standing not far away. That person was Harry Potter.

‘Hello Harry,’ Alicia said.

Harry looked startled, but at the sight of her relaxed. ‘Oh. Good morning professor.’

Alicia chuckled. ‘Is that as weird to you as it is to me? Calling me professor after knowing me for years as Alicia?’

He smiled. ‘It is a bit strange. But not so much in the classroom. You are quite different during classes.’

‘Is that so? I hadn’t noticed,’ Alicia said thoughtfully.

‘Well it’s a good thing,’ Harry hastened to add. ‘In class you are more strict, like a teacher. Outside of it you smile a lot more and are funny. I’m actually starting to see you as two sides. I hope that is okay.’

Dumbledore would have said _more than okay! That way you trust this side with everything, right?_

‘Sure. So, what are you doing here anyway?’ she asked him as she took out a piece of meat.

‘Oh. I am visiting the thestrals. Something about them keeps pulling me here,’ he said as he reached out and started stroking thin air.

Alicia was about to ask how he could see them, when she suddenly understood. She nearly started crying. He could see them because of Cedric.

‘Brilliant creatures they are,’ Alicia said while clearing her throat. ‘Or so the pictures in textbooks say. Would you mind helping me feed them? It is ever so hard when you can’t find their mouths.’

Harry chuckled. ‘You sound a lot like Hagrid when you talk about animals.’

‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’

Harry directed her towards the thestrals where she would throw some meat on the ground. She would look as small pieces were getting torn off the meat until it was gone.

‘So how is it going? Do you like being a professor?’ Harry asked.

The moment he did, Alicia smiled. He had beaten her to the chase. ‘Honestly, not really. I do like all the creatures and teaching about them, but I don’t like all the theory and the rules and all the chaos.’ She threw another piece like it had offended her. ‘It’s all so much work.’

Harry laughed. ‘That I can relate to. I also like the spells, charms and beasts, but not so much the homework and exams.’

They laughed together. ‘Urgh you got me. I am secretly still a student. What about you? Anything interesting happen lately?’

‘Apart from deeply hating my new DADA teacher, getting detention on the first day and figuring out I can see thestrals now…neh. Pretty uneventful. But I just…’ Harry stopped, his jaw clenched.

‘What is it?’ Alicia asked quietly.

‘I feel so angry, like all the time. I’m angry with the world, with Dumbledore, with Umbridge even with my friends,’ he finally admitted.

Alicia sighed. ‘Now that I can understand very well.’

He looked surprised. ‘You do? Most people just tell me to calm down.’

‘Ha!’ Alicia said suddenly. The thestral in front of her must have been startled by it, as she saw leaves flutter around on the floor. ‘What a stupid thing to say. Harry you have every right to be angry. Angry at the world? Obviously. Look what it did to you.’

Harry looked solemn. Alicia continued. ‘Angry with Dumbledore? I don’t even have to know why. He is getting on my nerves too sometimes. Umbridge doesn’t need any form of explanation…’

‘I thought you liked her,’ Harry muttered.

‘Really? Well I’m glad about that,’ Alicia said. Harry stared at her. She laughed and explained: ‘I need to keep this job. I’m flattering her a bit so I don’t get fired.’

‘Ahh,’ Harry said.

‘Don’t tell anyone please,’ Alicia asked. Harry zipped his lips shut. ‘And lastly your friends. What happened there?’

Harry kicked a stone. ‘They are very busy with their prefect duties. I know they don’t mean to abandon me…but it makes me feel more alone.’

Alicia placed a hand on his arm. ‘But you aren’t. I know that people in the school are talking about you, and that it all went to shit. But there are always those that support you. Ron and Hermione, but there must be more. The other Weasleys, maybe that sweet kid Neville?’

Harry sighed. ‘I know. But there are just so many things happening at once. Like Hagrid leaving…I’m glad you are here…but I miss him.’

Alicia drew him closer, hugging him with one arm. ‘I miss him too. I’m sure he will turn up sooner rather than later.’

They continued feeding until the bucket was empty. Alicia looked around, astonished by the idea she was surrounded by winged horses but couldn’t see them. There was nothing too weird or outlandish when it came to magical creatures.

‘Well I’m going back. Ron and Hermione will probably be free now. I’ll see you in class professor,’ Harry said with a wink.

‘See you in class Mr Potter,’ Alicia replied with her hands on her hips. She watched him go. Her smile changed into a grimace. Now she had to remember everything he had said and copy his words to Dumbledore.


	18. Dolores freaking Umbridge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry for not uploading yesterday! Unfortunately I have gotten the corona virus so I'm rendered a useless sack of potatoes these days.  
> But here is the new chapter. Some trouble in pink is coming this way ;)

The weeks started to blend together. Alicia was constantly busy with her work. Either she was teaching, grading papers, reading up on theory herself, actually taking care of magical creatures, keeping Hagrid’s house from collapsing into dust, sweettalking Umbridge or trying to get Harry to talk to her. So many people were asking things from her, most days it felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Those little moments when she was actually free were often also sacrificed to the Order. In other words; Remus would come over so they could practice duelling. After a full Saturday of duelling she often felt so tired, she had to send Remus home without cuddling or having sex. Remus was not giving her a hard time for that, but she felt bad nonetheless.

But all the stress so far was nothing compared to one Tuesday morning when she walked into the staff room and heard professors murmur. They told her that Dolores was going to attend classes to ‘inspect the education’. Alicia could feel whatever courage she had left leave her.

After lunch she hurried to her classroom to prepare everything. It was Harry’s class who would come next, and she had a feeling Dolores would attend that one. Ever since the start of the year she kept an eye on Harry. Of course she thought he was the source of all the trouble at her work; the lunatic who spread the idea that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had returned. One day in class Alicia had seen Harry pull his hand away quickly, but not before she had seen a new scar on the back of his hand. She had her suspicions about the source of that.

With that thought swimming around in her head the door opened and the students filed in. She put on her best fake smile and welcomed them warmly. In the stream of black robes was the bright pink one as well, walking directly up to Alicia at the front of the class. Her walk, her stance, her mannerisms were particularly female. However Alicia couldn’t stop picturing her more like a toad pretending to be a woman. It was mostly her puffy eyes and foul personality that gave her that mental picture.

‘Good afternoon Professor Doreen,’ she greeted warmly. Alicia bowed her head a little. Alicia would never be considered tall, but Dolores was shorter.

‘Good afternoon Professor Umbridge. It is time for my inspection then?’ she said, hoping she sounded calm. She was dying inside.

Dolores waved a little with the clipboard she was carrying. ‘Oh yes, I do a full round. However you shouldn’t worry yourself dear. I hear you have improved well.’

 _Not quite a compliment but it’s a start._ She gave her another smile. Dolores her attention went past Alicia’s legs. ‘Is that creature part of the class?’

Alicia looked back to see Charles. His ears were back against his skull and he was on the brink of snarling. She placed a hand on his head and he immediately calmed down. ‘This is my partner. Wherever I go, Charles goes. Would you mind if I start the class now?’

‘Oh yes by all means,’ Dolores said as she placed herself in a corner.

‘Good afternoon class. Today I brought you some bowtruckles. We are going to study them with care. Bowtruckles are not to be messed with. Take your distance as you study their behaviour,’ Alicia announced. She took out a couple of small cages to divide around the class. As she walked around she instructed them some more and told them what the assignment was about. Dolores had not interrupted her which seemed like a good sign.

Once the students were busy, Dolores moved around the room to ask questions about magical beasts. Most students seemed able to answer these questions.

After being satisfied by their answers, the pink witch came back up to Alicia. ‘So you are the substitute for Rubeus Hagrid. I wonder…the Headmaster seems strangely reluctant to give me any information on the matter. Can _you_ tell me what is causing Professor Hagrid’s very extended leave of absence?’

Of course she could. He was on a mission for the Order. ‘I’m afraid I can’t help. I don’t know anything more than you do. I got an owl from Dumbledore to ask me to fill in for a couple of weeks, and after some contact I agreed to go.’

‘You haven’t been in contact with Professor Hagrid then?’ she asked, her voice even more high-pitched than per usual. Alicia just shook her head.

Alicia noticed that Harry was looking anxious. She realised it was not just her, but also Hagrid who was being tested today.

‘Hmm. Pity. Overall, how do you, as a temporary member of staff – an objective outsider, I suppose you might say – how do you find Hogwarts? Do you feel enough support from the others? You being quite the young teacher and all?’

She bit her lip and considered the answer for a moment. ‘I’ve felt very welcome indeed. But as far as support goes…oh well. I mustn’t complain. I just wish I had more time to prepare, I suppose.’

It was a fine line. She didn’t want to get anyone in trouble, yet she couldn’t sound too loyal to Dumbledore. In all reality, she wasn’t completely loyal to him. She questioned a lot of his decisions and did in fact feel unready for the job.

Dolores gave a little incredulous sound, but went on. ‘And what are you planning to cover with this class this year? Assuming, of course, that Professor Hagrid does not return?’

Alicia didn’t like how eager she sounded to have that happen. ‘Oh I’ll prepare them for their O.W.L.S. of course. We’ve studied fire crabs and nifflers. Next up are bowtruckles and unicorns. There will be some outdoor classes later in the month, to show them the beasts I can’t bring to class.’

‘Like centaurs?’ she said with a smile as she wrote something on her clipboard.

Alicia flinched. ‘N-no. We don’t cover centaurs. Even though the ministry classifies them as beasts, they are sentient beings.’ Hot sweat trickled down her neck. She was getting on dangerous territory here, and she hated to sound like the opposite of who she was.

Dolores huffed, not noticing the other woman’s discomfort. ‘All half-breeds are beasts in my book. Centaurs, merpeople…and most of all werewolves. Tell me, professor, what do you think about them? Should they keep the rights they have now, or should we legislate more against them?’

Without thinking, Alicia’s gaze went up to find Harry. He looked as shocked as she felt, but couldn’t show. Her hands were shaking. In an attempt to hide them, she clasped them behind her back. Then she forced herself to look at the other woman, who was really starting to fuel a deep hatred within Alicia.

‘All half-breeds are beasts. I agree,’ is all she could manage to say without vomiting. It was almost comical how opposite she was to her true self. Friends with Hagrid the half-giant, a welcomed guest among the centaurs, an equal to the merpeople and in love with a werewolf. Alicia used those thoughts to keep her from blowing her cover. _Look at you, fooling this self-proclaimed clever witch. Look at you, fooling the ministry._

The little secretive smile Dolores gave her said enough. Then she turned back to the class. In particular to Malfoy and Goyle. She asked them about the incident with Buckbeak two years ago. Harry tried to defend Hagrid but got himself detention in the process. Alicia just tried not to topple over, or cry, or run away.

‘Well thank you Professor Doreen, I think that’s all I need here. You will be receiving the results of your inspection within ten days,’ Dolores said softly.

‘Wonderful,’ Alicia croaked as the woman in pink left her classroom.

* * *

‘Alicia! You are not concentrating.’

‘Alright, alright. Hit me again.’

‘Are you su-‘

‘Just do it Remus!’

 _‘Flipendo!_ ’

Even though she had said she was ready and was expecting it, Alicia couldn’t make a shield strong enough to protect herself. She was launched backwards into the wall, where the back of her head hit the stone painfully.

Within seconds, Remus was next to her, looking at her with concern. ‘You need to tell me when to stop.’

She sighed and was about to say something snarky in return, but then she looked into his eyes. He looked tired, but not as tired as she felt and probably looked. Her vision was starting to blur.

‘I can’t handle it anymore Moony,’ she whispered.

‘What do you mean? The duelling? The teaching?’ he asked. A hand rested on her shoulder.

She looked away. ‘Everything. It’s all so much.’

‘Oh darling,’ he whispered as he pulled her towards his chest. She rested her face against his chest and listened to his heart. Her tears started to soak his sweater. ‘I’m so sorry you have to go through all this.’

‘I am lying. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes I wonder whether I’m lying or maybe I changed my opinion. The things I’m certain of…the people I love…are far away. Out of reach when I need them,’ Alicia continued, almost robotically. She hadn’t confessed any of this since her first day back at Hogwarts. ‘You can only come when it’s safe. Sirius is deterring in that terrible house. Hagrid is off I don’t know where. And my old friends here at school,’ she took a moment to sniff away the tears, ‘are now my students. And they also think I’m a bigoted tyrant.’

There was a low howl to their right. Charles had lifted his head and was looking at her with sorrow. ‘And Charles is bound in this form. He is not supposed to be trapped like that. He should be free, and with the others. Where he belongs.’

Another fit of tears hit her as she realised what she really wanted to say. _I should be free, where I belong. In Romania, where I was happy._ ‘I came back for you, not for all of this. Remus can’t we just…’ she looked down, stopping herself in time.

‘You want us to run away? To go to Romania, you me and Charles?’ Remus asked. There was no contempt, no sarcastic tone. He didn’t hate her for thinking it and nearly asking it. He sighed. ‘You know, I am thinking more and more about it. Maybe even I can help out in that camp. I bet if there is any place in the world where they could accept a werewolf, it’s there.’ He laughed softly. ‘I bet it’s as beautiful as you describe it to me all the time. How bright the stars are at night and how fresh the morning air feels to your lungs. How stunning the valleys look and how breath-taking the dragons are in their natural habitat. You paint a pretty picture Alicia. Even to someone that doesn’t share your love for those creatures.’

As he fell silent, she pushed herself back to look at him. He had a distant look in his eyes.

‘More and more I wonder…why aren’t we there? Why am I not making sure that you are safe?’ He stopped and stared her down. ‘But that is the dilemma. I want to make sure you are safe. You and everyone else. We cannot live in a world where Voldemort rules. We would both be hunted down and killed. And not just us. Everyone I know, everyone that has been kind to me…’

Alicia sighed and rubbed her eyes. ‘I know. There is enough to fight for.’

Remus took her hands away from her face so she could look at him. ‘Yes. There is. But that doesn’t mean I don’t see us being happy in Romania. I would give everything to see you with a huge smile on your face, jumping on Charles’ back and flying all around. Alicia, I wish we could be that. And maybe, one day, we will.’

She tried to smile. ‘Let’s hope so.’

He gave her a look she knew well by now. He looked at her like this right before he was either going to tell her that he loved her, or before he kissed her. It was a look of adoration.

This time it was a kiss. He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her tenderly. The sensation of his lips on hers did great wonders against her anxiety. Whenever he kissed her, it was like he transported her to a world without pain or sorrow. For a moment, there was just him and her.

He drew back slowly and opened his eyes. She still had hers closed, revelling in the tingling feeling on her lips.

Slowly, her eyes opened too and she stared into his mesmerizing green eyes. Her hand went to his cheek, where she caressed him. For a moment she considered telling him what Dolores Umbridge had made her say today about werewolves, but then she realised that his handsome soft features would contort in anger and disgust. Alicia didn’t want that. She didn’t need the reminders of her troublesome day right now. All she needed was him.

‘Remus?’ she whispered, her lips still close to his.

‘Hmm?’ he replied, a slightly coy tone to his sound.

Her lips travelled past his cheek to his ear, where she whispered: ‘Will you stay tonight?’

He was silent for a moment. She drew her head back a little to look at him. He was wearing his infamous smirk on his lips. ‘I would love to,’ he replied in a deep voice.

Finally they took the time to test out the bathtub together. Dressed in a bathrobe and nothing else, Alicia felt the temperature and added more foam. Remus walked in, completely naked, and jumped in at once.

‘MerLIn’s BEarD IT’S HOT!’

Currently, a very perplexed Remus was sitting in the middle of a foam cloud with little fluffs of the stuff on his nose and in his hair. The sight of this made Alicia fill with love.

‘No shit Sherlock,’ she giggled. With an attempt at being graceful, she undid the knot around her waist and dropped the bathrobe to the ground. Remus watched her closely. He had already forgotten his discomfort.

Gliding into the water was the best feeling Alicia had experienced in a long while. The water was not too hot anymore. It wrapped around her like a warm hug. She dipped her head underwater for a moment before emerging again. It felt like her troubles were washed away.

‘That feels good,’ she announced to the bathroom.

‘So it does,’ Remus replied. Alicia had closed her eyes and was leaning back, her head resting. She could feel Remus move around in the water as it sloshed in all directions. Then his body was next to hers, an arm crossed over her chest, hand resting on her shoulder.

She looked up. He was smiling down at her with a content look. ‘You are such a favourite. I never got a bathtub, never mind one as luxurious as this one.’

Alicia laughed. The sound bounced off the walls and echoed back. ‘I guess Hogwarts likes me. Or maybe it knew what I needed.’ She booped his nose with a very foamy finger. A little stayed on his nose.

They drew closer together, lying in each other’s arms as they enjoyed the well-deserved bath. It was quiet for about ten minutes before Remus spoke again. ‘I could get used to this. Doing normal couple things with my girlfriend.’

‘Me too,’ she whispered with a smile.

‘Who knows? Hagrid could come back any day now. Maybe you could be back with us soon. We will make Sirius regret he wanted us in the house. The _noise_ we will make…’ Remus joked.

She chuckled. ‘You mean, the noise _you_ make? I don’t make noises.’

At that, he raised an eyebrow challengingly. ‘Oh really?’

At that moment she did make a noise, a high-pitched little shriek cut short. Remus had decided to reach out between her legs and give her pussy a good squeeze.

‘Remus!’ she said, scandalized.

His hand had not let go. ‘Yes baby?’

She wondered why she was protesting. This was one of the hottest things he had ever done. ‘You cheeky son of a bitch,’ she said as she leaned in to kiss him. He was waiting for her, kissing her happily and greedy. She opened her mouth and his tongue was not the only thing slipping in. Right as his tongue entered her mouth, his finger entered her vagina. She moaned in the kiss as he fingered her underwater.

A second finger was added to the mix, thrusting in faster and faster. She could feel her body respond. Her nipples hardened. Remus noticed this. He stopped kissing her so he could lean down and lick her nipples while still fingering her. Alicia moaned louder, knowing no one was going to hear her anyway. This was her tower! She could moan and scream as loud as she wanted.

Alicia pushed him back, so he was sitting upright.

‘Two can play this game,’ she told him. Her legs straddled him and her hand disappeared under the clouds of foam to grasp his cock. She found it already hard. The moment she touched him he whimpered softly.

‘Alicia I’ve missed you,’ he breathed as he looked up at her with big eyes. Right here in the bath, both of them naked, wet and covered in scars, she felt more like his equal than she ever did before. In the beginning there was the obvious power dynamic of a teacher and a student. Later when they got back together they were two long lost lovers. However everyone at the Black family home had reminded her she was still younger than Remus. Now, even though she was still younger, she didn’t feel like it. She finally felt completely in balance with Remus, and it was wonderful.

She was pumping his cock good and quick under the bubbles. He moaned happily, laying his head back on the edge. His eyes were closed and his mouth open. This of course, was the perfect opportunity. She leaned over him and kissed him roughly and unexpected. He made a little surprised sound, but soon came back to his senses. He groaned, getting more and more frustrated. He reached for her hand and stopped her. Instead, he placed his hands on her hips and made her sit down on him. The water worked perfectly as lube as she felt his cock slide in her.

‘Fuck yes! This is a whole new sensation,’ Alicia said with a smile. The water made the movement of her hips awkward, but she could still feel the friction between the both of them.

‘You can say that again,’ he growled, his teeth clenched in concentration. It wasn’t as easy in the water to get them in a rhythm, but still they managed. Alicia felt herself moving up and down, the down-part a lot rougher as he made her slam down on him. A series of dirty words left her mouth as she leaned a bit more forward and felt him even better, getting excited inside of her.

‘Not good enough,’ Remus groaned. He wrapped one arm around her and made her lie down in the water. He got on top of her and dragged her hips up to meet his. He fucked her again, and once more it was a whole new sensation. The warm water floating into her pussy was also a nice extra. Remus thrusted in her as quickly as he could, but it was clear it wasn’t enough to make him climax.

‘How about,’ Alicia said with a kiss to his cheek, ‘we continue this in the shower?’

That got him excited and out of the bathtub in record time. Alicia giggled as he offered a hand to help her step out. They walked over to the shower cabin, a reasonably sized square with stone walls and glass doors.

‘This castle really wanted you to have the perfect bathroom for sex, didn’t it?’ Remus remarked with a smile. Alicia laughed as she followed him in the cabin. She had hardly turned on the shower head before she felt his arms wrap around her from behind.

‘Nessie?’ he asked, his lips pressed against her shoulder.

‘Yes Moony?’

‘Can I fuck you against the wall?’

‘Yes please, Mr. Lupin,’ she replied. He kissed her neck before starting to push her slowly forward, until her hands were pressed against the stone wall. Warm water ran down her body, as she stood there, leaning over, ready to be taken. She looked over her shoulder to watch him pump himself to get his cock all hard again. It didn’t take long. He grabbed her hips and shoved himself into her pussy from behind.

Another loud moan escaped her throat. She felt so exposed, so naughty. Remus was thrusting, holding onto one hip and the other hand on her shoulder. She contorted her body so that he could hit her deep.

‘Harder…faster….’ She begged. He chuckled and did as she asked. Being fucked like this was a whole new level of horny.

‘Alicia…I…’ Remus had trouble talking while he thrusted so quick and hard that he was panting. He slapped her ass twice and then screamed out her name as he climaxed. His nails dug in her skin and it was enough to make her come too. Both of them were heavily panting, their sounds getting drained by the falling water.

‘Damn,’ Remus exclaimed.

Alicia turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. ‘Damn indeed.’ They laughed and kissed.

‘I can tell you one thing Remus,’ Alicia said as she looked up in his eyes.

‘And what is that Alicia dear?’

‘You are a _great_ stress reliever.’


End file.
